In this episode, Tracy unpacks the pressure-filled world of youth sports and challenges parents to trade performance-driven parenting for Christ-centered encouragement that builds character instead of insecurity.

--

The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

--

Parenting Your Kids in Sports: Encouragement That Builds Character

Sports can be one of the best training grounds for kids—or one of the most stressful parts of family life. If the thought of your child’s next game already makes you anxious, you’re not alone. Many parents feel pressure (from coaches, culture, other parents, and even themselves) to treat childhood sports like a career path. And if you’ve ever found yourself internalizing your kid’s performance as a reflection of your value as a parent, this topic is for you.

Here’s the big reality check: the sports world has changed fast. Not that long ago, kids played multiple sports at their local school and it was mostly about fun, learning skills, and being with friends. But today, it often feels like you have to “choose one sport,” join a competitive club, train year-round, travel constantly, and chase a scholarship—starting in elementary school. That pressure can turn sports from something healthy into something consuming.

But before we even talk strategy, we have to talk about heart posture. Many of us are parenting out of baggage we’ve never named. Maybe you had a coach who humiliated you. Maybe your parents were overly intense—or totally checked out. Maybe you were the star athlete and it fed pride. Or maybe you always felt like you were on the outside trying to prove yourself. Whatever your story is, it shapes how you respond to your kid’s wins, losses, effort, attitude, and mistakes.

So here’s the question that changes everything: Why do I care so much about my kid’s performance?

What does it “say about me” if they play well—or if they don’t? If you can’t answer that honestly, you’ll struggle to parent this area in a healthy way. Because we can’t lead our kids somewhere we haven’t gone ourselves.

Next, let’s talk expectations. A lot of sports culture sells a dream: “We’re going to get your kid a D1 scholarship.” But the odds are small. For many sports, only around 1–3% of high school athletes will reach that level. Most kids won’t—and that’s okay. The point of sports isn’t to build a résumé. It’s to build a person.

So what should our emphasis be?

Instead of obsessing over points, minutes, wins, and rankings, use sports to teach what matters in real life:

1. How to be a good teammate
2. How to celebrate others’ success
3. How to handle disappointment
4. How to respect authority (even when it’s imperfect)
5. How to show up, work hard, and not quit
6. How to build resilience after failure

These are character lessons your child will carry into friendships, future jobs, marriage, parenting, and faith.

And that leads to the biggest “moment” you need to get right: the post-game conversation.

Here’s a simple equation that can change your parenting:

Positive feedback + criticism = discouragement

Parents often think, “I’ll start with something positive, then mention what they need to improve.” But most kids don’t hear it that way. They hear the “but.” They leave the car ride feeling like they failed you—especially if they already feel pressure from coaches, teammates, or themselves.

Your job isn’t to be the assistant coach. Your job is to be the safe place.

That doesn’t mean you never talk about growth. It means you choose the right time and tone—and you stop piling on when your kid is already carrying weight. In the moment when emotions are high, your words should be steady, supportive, and encouraging.

And above everything, let your parenting mirror God’s heart toward you. God doesn’t love you based on performance. He doesn’t withhold affection when you fail. He’s compassionate, patient, and faithful.

Psalm 103 reminds us that the Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry, filled with unfailing love—He doesn’t constantly accuse, and He doesn’t deal harshly with us as we deserve. That’s the kind of spirit we want in our parenting, especially in the car ride home.

Sports can be fertile soil for discipleship—if we stop buying the lie that our kid has to be in the “1%” to matter. Your child’s identity isn’t “athlete.” That can be part of their story, but it doesn’t need to be the story.

The ultimate win isn’t a scholarship. It’s a kid who grows in character, stays grounded in Jesus, and learns how to live faithfully in the real world.