"The recruits must repel out of a military-grade helicopter; the recruits get a taste of what it's like operating behind enemy lines as they carry supplies weighing 800 pounds in sweltering 100-degree heat."

Kody Brown has landed in Morocco – home of the Morrocan Oil for Curls. He is here as a recruit, but will probably be running the barracks. Poor Brittany Cartwright gave it her best shot, Theresa "Barbie Doll" Guidice is our poopie queen and Jussie Smollett never shuts up. Foxy and/or Billy, along with Denise Richards lover, Rudy, are here to fuck these celebrities up.

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"Christine and David visit Janelle in North Carolina to celebrate the purchase of her new flower farm property. Kody and Robyn discuss their now monogamist relationship and the possibility of bringing in a new wife. Meri dips her toe back into the dating world and heads to a speed dating event."

Move over Taylor Frankie Paul, Parowan has a new hot bachelorette on the scene: Meri Brown. Meri and Just Jenn head to Salt Lake for a round of speed dating, while Kody and Robyn go on a date with a dessert of licking. David "No Butt" Woolley Brown is a trackstar, Janelle is sick of his shit and Christine is going full Tuscan.

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Sister Wives is coming back and we are wet. A new production company, a boys hang, Janelle flashing her tits, Meri pretending to not want Kody back, Christine gets an apology and Robyn has comissioned a new art piece that will go down in Sister Wives history! The new season is here and we are fucking stressed.

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"David gives his thoughts on polygamy and the role men play within it; Kody discusses a college secret he kept from Christine and Janelle, as Christine wonders what else could have been kept from her."

Kody opens up about his sexuality, but later regrets it when Suki talks about only getting an inch. Christine is still in love with Kody, while Janelle is hornier than ever for a dirty, nasty man who can rail her in the woods. Meri closes out the season pathetic and Robyn gets the luggage rack.

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"Meri discusses her distrust over Coyote Pass; Janelle describes button pushing and defines love bombing; Suki asks the big question: who gets the luggage rack?"

Kody and Robyn keep sucking each others faces off only in an effort to get back at Meri. Janelle is brushing off her own copy of the BDSM-5 and giving us her professional diagnosis on Kody. Christine is horny for David, while Kody is being shunned from the family for one little blowjob in public.

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"As the One-on-One conversations continue, Janelle opens up about her dislike for both Kody and Robyn. Christine discusses her issue with the term "favorite ex-wife," and Kody considers a guy trip with David."

David and Kody plan themselves a boys weekend that neither of them will soon forget. Meri has been catfished once again, but instead of Samuel, it's by her favorite ex-husband. Robyn is popping pills while Janelle is popping off on how much she hates her old family members.

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"The Brown family sits down to discuss their past and future; as Christine says she tried to make her relationship with Kody work, he says that the wives all had the same chances as Robyn; the family comments on Meri's legal divorce from Kody."

Kody Brown, or as he calls himself, Mr. Accountable is sick of getting the shit kicked out of him for loving Robyn! Christine is finally best dressed, Janelle is once again in a sensible white capri to match her calves and Meri is ready to date, again and again and again and again.

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Robert Garrison Brown

04.10.1998 - 03.04.2023

On March 4th, beloved son, brother, uncle, and friend Robert Garrison Brown joined his ancestors in the halls of Valhalla. Born to Janelle and Kody Brown, 6th child of a big, unconventional family.

Preceded in death by Sheryl Lee Brown, William Winn Brown, and Curtis Taylor Brown. He is survived by his large, adoring family and his three cats Catthew, Patches, and Ms. Buttons.

We remember him as the coolest dude who lived with a zeal for life, led through his curiosity. He was a world traveler, going to multiple countries and continents. He was a jack of all trades and a master in comedy. He enjoyed being an amateur craftsman and a adventurous photographer. His night sky photography evoked deep emotion. He was a Staff Sergeant in the Army National Guard and a proud CAV Scout. He was in school to become a Nurse because he cared about people.

Robert Garrison knew the best thing to say to make everyone laugh, especially in awkward situations. He made friends everywhere he went and his death leaves all who knew him in immense pain.

Robert Garrison's death is a reminder to tell those you love how you feel and take care of each other. Where do we turn when we miss him? "To the stars, Bowen, to the stars."

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available.

Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis

Lifeline or chat at 988lifeline.org

"Christine is excited to spend her first monogamous Valentine's Day with David. Meri and Janelle meet at Coyote Pass to discuss a strategy moving forward. Robyn and Kody discuss not being polygamists anymore, and Kody expresses his disappointment in plural marriage."

Janelle puts aside her pride and forces herself to talk to Meri, in hopes that Meri will foot the bill for an attorney. Robyn does the first work she's done in years, building a vanity for Aerola. Kody hires a PR team to fix his image, while Christine and David spend their Valentine's Day talking about Kody.

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"With Christine's help, Janelle moves her life from Flagstaff to North Carolina and sees the land that she purchased sight unseen; Meri questions her entire relationship with Robyn; Kody prepares to baptize Aurora into a new church."

David's got a dirty ass, Janelle is ready to hit the land moseying the second she closes on her new property– that is definitely not going to be a Coyote Pass 2.0 and Meri has added another career to her résumé as My Sister Wife's Closet customer service. Awowah, who is a full grown woman is still seeking permission from Kody and Robyn to get dunked.

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