Sitting in a Car

The school’s version of sex-ed vs what you’ve been teaching is very different.

So, what now?

Send him in to learn about sex-ed from this point of view or keep him home so that your point of view remains unchallenged?

It can be a tough decision, yet it can also be simple.

Are we trying to create clones of ourselves or raise kids that are free to be exactly who they are and can come and talk to us about anything under the sun?

The latter, right?

So maybe, we can ask him how he feels about it and also weigh up the pros and cons of being part of the lesson so together you and he can make a collaborative decision.

This in itself is a great life skill.

I’m sharing a few nuggets in today’s episode (if I do say so myself) and I look forward to hearing how you get on with them.

In today’s episode we cover:

If you’d like to join us in the Evolve School where I teach the whole Evolved Family Method let me know here.

Until next episode,

x Sarah

Our job is to be there for our kids, no matter what.

And their job is to ask for help, no matter what.

And so if there is something that they need to talk about, they need to know they must ask for help.

As many times as possible, until they get it.

People being hurt by sex (this can happen for many reasons) is a difficult topic to speak about.

But having these kinds of chats with our kids is important.

For their growth and awareness.

So have a listen to this week’s episode to learn how to have this kind of talk with your kid.

Building the courage to speak openly with our kids about all kinds of topics is important for our own connection with them and ourselves.

If you need more support with this, feel free to reach out here and leave me your details. I’ll get back to you.

For now, have a listen to how we use courage to have complex conversations about difficult topics.

x Sarah

Speaking to kids in general about sensitive topics is hard.

If you have a kid on the spectrum, you may question if this is still appropriate.

And it most definitely is.

Saying more as early as you can is how you protect them and support them in their uniqueness.

I’m giving 3 recommendations in this episode of how to chat with your kid, who’s on the spectrum.

Recommended Books:

Things Tom Likes by Kate E Reynolds

Things Ellie Likes by Kate E Reynolds

What’s happening to Ellie by Kate E Reynolds

What’s happening to Tom by Kate E Reynolds

The growing up book for boys by Davida Hartman

The growing up book for girls by Davida Hartman

Sensory: Life on the spectrum by Schnumn

Divergent Mind: Thriving in a world that wasn’t designed for you by Jenara Nerenberg

If you would like to learn all the strategies inside the growth, courage and kindness pillars let me know here.

Until next episode,

Sarah

And is now fixated on the fact that people kiss each other’s private parts if they’re in a relationship.

Now this is not only awkward but it’s complex.

Where do you start with this?

What do you focus on?

What do you say?

Here’s the thing, it’s likely that you’re both shocked.

You: that she knows this information.

Her: that anybody would want to put their mouth on another’s private area.

So in this episode I'm going to show you how to help your kid who's fixated on the fact that people kiss each other's privates, if they're in a relationship.

Accept that kids talk (4:34)

What is consent (6:38)

Have a convo about sex? (8:30)

Want to learn the complete evolved family method that helps parents and other caring adults manage feelings of awkwardness while talking about quite complex details about bodies and sexuality?

Click here and I’ll send you some information.

Until next episode,

x Sarah

“Family comes first.’

‘Girls don’t answer back.’

‘Don’t be awkward.’

How about, “It’s ok not to be hugged or kissed by (insert family member’s name)?”

Girls should know that they’ve a right to set boundaries and know what that looks and feels like.

That’s what being a courageous parent will help you do.

It will help you support your little girl in setting healthy boundaries around her body.

Today’s episode highlights that it doesn't matter what age your kid is, you can speak up for them until they're old enough to speak up for themselves.

In today’s episode you’ll learn:

Knowing what to do is one thing but do you have the ability to sit with the intense emotions of others and stay centred and grounded at the same time?

If not, and you would like support, let me know here.

Until next episode,

x Sarah

Kids are constantly learning how to make choices, without hurting others.

They’re learning about consent and what that looks like for themselves and others.

They’re learning about what is enjoyable for them.

They’re discovering what brings them pleasure.

And it’s our job as parents to give them lots of chances to discover these things safely and with encouragement and joy.

Proteced from the judgment of others, in particular other adults and their secret messages.

I understand that this can bring up very complex emotions too so it’s vital to have the necessary support so we can be what our kid(s) need.

Have a listen to this episode for 3 things you can do when your 5-yr-old likes to wear his cousin’s ballerina dress.

Also, if you need that extra support remember you can sign up here for The Evolved School.

Until next week,

x Sarah

Potential responses…

Silence, because what do you say?

Tell them that’s an inappropriate question and they mustn’t ask again because what if they say something at school?

Ask other parent friends for their advice because what do you say?!

All these responses make sense.

They’re an indication of the tongue-tied parenting effect.

And so in this week’s episode I’m giving 3 pointers that will help you answer the question, in an age-appropriate way, whilst offering a way for you to look after yourself as well.

Have a broader convo about what sex is (2:54)

How to talk about pleasure in an age-appropriate way (5:34)

Giving your kid context for the consequences of sharing info (10:33)

If you feel uncomfortable, tongue-tied and unsure about having sensitive convos with your kid(s), The Evolve School is a great place for you to learn the skills and get tools and resources to support you inside a like-minded community.

Connected communication is centred on growth, courage and kindness.

If you’re Interested in joining let me know here.

x Sarah

He says he hates genitals.

His and everybody else’s. He thinks they're super weird.

Did I say too much too soon?

What can I do now to help him with these feelings?

These might be questions you find yourself asking yourself when your kid tells you they hate something about themselves after giving them much needed info about bodies and life.

We need a range of skills to feel like we’re doing a good enough job.

So what do you do when you’ve been doing the “right” things and then your kid tells you they hate parts of theirs and others bodies?

In today’s episode we’re learning how to use courage to stay focused and present in the presence of really complex, difficult and even painful emotions.

Let your kid(s) know that they get to talk about things:

If your nervous system is all over the place and you need support for yourself, consider joining our community of parents who are learning the skills, tools and techniques to take care of their own needs as well as their kid(s).

Sign up here to learn more.

x Sarah

This is a sign your baby is growing up!

Her classmates are throwing the term boyfriend/girlfriend around and now she’s asking what that is.

This might confuse you as you think about what these terms mean when referring to adults.

Which will get you thinking about what is ok for your kid to know. Right?

Because clearly, and this is ok, your kid is just catching up with this stage of development.

So let me share ways you can explain to your 8-yr-old what boyfriends/girlfriends are in a way that is inclusive, invites open communication and builds a deeper connection.

We’re pulling from the growth pillar for this one and of course, as usual, if you need more support for your own emotions and needs you are invited to leave your details here.

Wanna skip to the good parts?

Reasons we may not have already had this convo and why that’s ok (1:30)

How to be inclusive and less gendered (4:30)

Why it’s important to talk about all the different types of relationships (5:29)

Ways to share your experiences to normalise big feelings (7:38)

I’d love to hear your stories on how you got on with starting convos about sensitive topics such as explaining what boyfriends and girlfriends are drop me a DM.

x Sarah

Would you stick the words pu$$y or c0ck on the fridge as a fun learning technique?

Can you imagine your mum or aunt coming over and them seeing that?

No?

Ok, so this might not be suitable for your family and that’s ok.

I’m sharing how this CAN work for some and other ways that it could work for you, if this feels too extreme.

So let’s dive into how you can have an open convo with your kids about the slang words used for body parts so they’re informed and feel able to talk to you about anything.

Do you always have to use the correct anatomical word? (4:46)

Characteristics of an evolved communicating family (6:23)

Build a bridge and make it fun (7:36)

How can I be sure my kid won’t get confused and use these slang words in everyday life? (11:39)

As you know, we use 3 pillars to help you build your evolved communicating family. Growth, Courage & Kindness.

Growth is about being able to talk about all and any sensitive topics no matter what age your kid is at. Courage is about being able to start convos about challenging/sensitive topics.

The kindness pillar is all about emotional management aka emotional intelligence.

If you could use support with any of these pillars let me know you’d like some info by leaving your details here.

Until next week,

Sarah