Sitting in a Car

I love this week’s question.

Because yes, it’s about consent, my favourite subject –

and consent isn’t always about sex so that makes it an easy topic to talk about with smaller kids.

You see, consent is actually about respecting yourself and others.

And we all want to raise kids who respect themselves and the people around them :)

So, YES!

We certainly can talk about consent with very young kids.

And the great thing about wanting to talk about consent is

childhood is FULL of everyday opportunities that help our kids see why consent is so important.

I have a story for you this week

about something I overheard, during one of my kids’ playdates,

where a really gross, funny game was happening,

and how I intervened, to let everyone know

that nobody has to eat anything they don’t want to eat (don’t ask!).

Enjoy this week's episode. It’s a good one

x Sarah

This question is a great one.

Because it’s about how we parent in a broken world.

I have a story for you this week. It’s about my child saying ‘too much’ to a kid whose parents weren’t ready for their kid to learn about sex.

Boy, was it awkward.

It had real repercussions.

(You can hear about it by listening to the whole episode.)

The fact is, kids talk.

And the reality also is, some grown-ups don’t think it’s right for kids to know facts about sex, puberty and bodies.

Or, maybe these parents want to talk, but they don’t know how.

So they just say nothing.

The difficulty is this. We know that it’s really important for our kids to have accurate information about sex from trusted grown-ups.

It gives kids a feeling of comfort and normality around the subject.

It means that far, far into the future, when they’re adults, they’re better able to keep themselves happy and safe, and the people around them too.

And it helps that our kids know that if ever they have questions,

or if something goes a bit wrong,

they can come to us.

Those are great reasons!

To hear more about this tricky but super-important subject,

and to hear my story about how awkward it can be (I’ve been there!),

have a look at this week's Sitting in a Car.

‘How do you teach your kid not to touch their vulva or bum in public

without body shaming them?’

What a great question!

It’s so useful for all of us who want to raise a child who is not ashamed of their body.

Lots of us know from personal experience that when we feel shame about our body,

it disempowers us.

It makes it harder to speak up for what we need.

It makes it harder to ask for help if something doesn't feel right.

It even makes it harder to ask for medical attention when we need it.

So there are so many great reasons why we want to avoid body shame for our kids.

How can we help our kids understand that there are rules about how and when we touch our own bodies,

without body shaming them?

To hear more about how to have these conversations about bodies,

and about how to raise kids without shame,

have a look at Sitting in a Car this week

x Sarah

This week, a parent asks,

‘‘If I don’t have boys, should I talk to my daughter about porn?’

This is such a great question.

Because it’s about so much more than porn.

It’s about all the media we might see

that has an impact on our ability to accept ourselves,

accept other people,

understand there are different types of bodies,

and there are all kinds of s=e=x=.

So it’s a big question!

And the short answer is… YES.

We should chat with all of our kids, of all genders, about porn.

To hear more of my answer to this great question, about how us adults can help our kids build these skills,

Listen to this week's video 👆

‘Is discharge from my vagina normal?’

This week’s question is such a great one.

It came from an 11-year-old.

If you’re a vagina owner, you may have had this question yourself, at some time in your life.

I call this kind of question an ‘am I normal?’ kind of question.

I get ‘am I normal’ questions a lot from kids.

Part of why I get these questions a lot

might be because sometimes when kids are growing up,

they don’t have a person they can ask

if they have questions about bodies, babies, puberty, and all the things.

(I’ve got a story for you about that in this week’s episode, from my own childhood.)

To learn more about how to empower the vagina-owning young people in your life,

and ways to let your kids know you’re a person they can ask about this stuff,

have a look at this week’s video.

www.sarahsproule.com/booklist

How do I respond if a child who isn’t mine (nieces and nephews) asks me questions about sensitive stuff like bodies and sex

This is such an important question.

This week in Sitting in a Car, I tell a story about a grandmother who answered a question when her granddaughter asked about sex and what happened next.

(There are BLOOPERS and spelling mistakes in this week's episode FYI so if you want to find those, make sure you watch to the very end! #facepalm)

Let’s be clear. If a child ever asks you a question about something sensitive, it’s a wonderful thing. It shows that you are approachable and they trust you. You should be honoured that you are in this awkward situation.

To hear more about what to say to other people’s children,

have a look at this week’s episode.

“Is it ok to tell a 4-year-old they came out of the vagina?”

What an awesome question this week.

It’s important for all adults to think about this, even if your kids are older or younger.

I think the answer starts with how we can get comfortable doing the parts of parenting that feel extra difficult.

(In this weeks episode, I tell a personal story about how my anxiety stopped me being able to show up for  my kids in an everyday situation.)

So what can parents and other adults who care for children say to young kids about how babies are born?

To hear more about how to chat about birth,

Listen to this week's episode.

“How do I balance my 12-year-old’s resistance to showering with respecting her boundaries?

She needs to be strongly encouraged to wash!”

What a great question!

I love that boundaries are included there.

Because the person asking the question is acknowledging

that we can be teaching our child about consent

even with the most basic conversations about their body.

Sometimes, a kid is a bit resistant to bathing, without being even conscious of it.

Sometimes not bathing is just a habit.

And sometimes kids’ habits need to change, as they grow into adults and their bodies change.

And we can help them with that.

(I have a story for you about this from my own family. Listen to this episode to hear more)

So this week I have some ways we can help our young people grow into adults

and learn to take care of their bodies in a way that works for them.

I have an answer to a great question this week.

‘Any advice on a good way to correct a child on their gender stereotypes

like ‘green is a boy colour’?’

D’you know what’s interesting about this question?

‘Green is a boy’s colour’ is sort of true…

Yes, true.

But only SORT of true.

We’re all constantly surrounded by secret messages and rules about gender. We see and hear them …

All.

The.

Time.

And it can be really hard NOT to believe them.

So how can we correct our growing small person

when they make a statement that assumes something about gender? Find out more in this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

A few months ago a parent asked me:

‘What if talking about p0*n, makes my child curious – and they go looking for it?’

You might have a version of this question yourself.

What if I talk to my kid about p0*n – or for that matter bodies, babies, puberty and s=e=x –

and it makes them curious,

and they go looking for these things?

Kids need us to have these convos.

So that they have the info to be able to think critically,

and to distinguish what is ok,

what is a bit weird,

and what is just plain wrong for them.

So to learn more about how it’s not only ok, but good, to chat with your kid about p0*n and other places we might see s=e=x,

have a look at our video