Sitting in a Car

‘Any ideas for a parent of a 9-year-old who might be questioning their gender? 

I’m terrified and I need to educate myself for the road ahead.’

What a lovely question.

My answer comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method,

which is the bit of The Evolve School (of which more later) 

where we learn how to speak up around things that are complicated, 

and confront our own fear. 

Questions about gender can really throw us parents into a panic sometimes!

But one thing I’ve learned about parenting, 

is that when I’m panicked or fearful for my kid,

I’m not able to connect with them. 

And connection is the most important thing we can have with our growing child. 

Connection means showing our kid that we understand how they’re feeling, 

and what they’re experiencing, 

and that we’re with them no matter what is going on.

This question about gender is a great reminder that sometimes life is  complex. 

So for more about how to stay present and actively support a child 

who could be questioning their gender, 

listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car here.  

x Sarah

Would you like to know when The Evolve School opens up next? Visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve and I’ll make sure you’re kept in the loop.

Let's chat about boundaries. 

A parent who wrote in, has an over-enthusiastic kid

Who loves to hug and embrace and touch all the time!

And this parent’s not fully comfortable with this, 

but of course doesn’t want to shame her child.

This is a super question. 

My answer comes from the courage pillar of the Evolved Family method,

which looks at the skills we need to step up and speak out about super sensitive topics.

A situation like this is a great opportunity 

to teach our kid about consent.

So often, when we think about consent, 

we think about teaching our kid to speak up for themselves, 

and how to say no when they need to say no.

But another really important part of consent, 

is learning to listen to other people’s needs.

If you want to learn more about that, 

visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve and put your name down 

to find out when The Evolve School opens next.

In the meantime, to hear much more about how to hold gentle but firm boundaries without shame, 

and how to help our kids get what they need,

spend some time with me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car .

Let’s chat about puberty books.

And why giving one to your child isn’t as great an idea as you might think. 

I get questions about books A LOT. 

‘What books can I buy, Sarah?

To explain to my kid about puberty? …about how babies are made? …about other sensitive stuff?’

I want to get one thing really clear first -

Books can be brilliant! They can help a lot. 

But they’re not enough.

Inside The Evolve School, I hear parents’ stories 

about their own experiences being given books as kids.

These were not positive experiences. 

Inevitably, their parents handed them a book and said something like, 

‘Let me know if you’ve any questions.’

And here’s the problem.

When someone just hands us a book, 

our brain gets a super secret message. 

The message is: ‘We don’t talk about these things.’

Even if your parent says it’s ok to ask questions, 

our brain still gets the super secret message, “Don’t talk”. 

To hear more about why just buying even a really good book for our kid isn’t enough, listen to this week's episode.

And take good care, Wonderful.

x Sarah

‘What’s a good way to manage nakedness in family situations, both for parents & kids?’

What a great thing to chat about!

But before we get into it, I want to reminisce a bit.

We are so influenced by the culture we’re raised in.

Depending on the country where you are living, there will be different levels of nakedness that seem normal.

But we also get to create our own family culture,

we can think about this stuff, and decide for ourselves how we want to be with our body, 

and how we want our family to be.

Isn’t that great?

To hear more about nakedness, listen to this week episode of Sitting in a Car. Let’s chat about being nude

This week, a parent asks, 

‘How can I talk to very young children about periods?’

Like many of us, 

she has small children who come into the loo with her :)

when she’s changing her period products. 

And she’s worried about how to answer their questions.

 I’m absolutely certain this parent is not alone with this issue!

So let’s chat about it.

The first thing to know,

is that even when we’re NOT talked to about periods, 

our kid’s brains are still picking up information. 

Their brains subconsciously realise: hmm, this is something we don’t talk about.

I remember one day when I was around 11,

my mum came into my bedroom,

and she had a box of tampons, and the little chart that came with them, 

showing the bits of the body and where to put everything. 

I screamed the house down. 

‘GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!’

And then of course a year or two later when I got my period, 

I didn’t know what to do!

I was a bit of a victim of my own embarrassment! :)

But of course this happened because in the culture I was living in,

periods were NOT talked about as part of everyday life. 

So this is why we talk about this stuff. To prevent the embarrassment from setting

in in the first place.

Because we realise, now - this thing of not talking about periods, doesn’t actually work so well.

And we want to try a different way.

Listen to this week’s watch this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car 

What do you want for your child(ren)?

That’s my question for you this week.

Do you want your kid(s) to come to you with anything at all … so they don’t feel worried or isolated?

Do you want your kids to avoid the pitfalls that tripped you up when you were a young person?

You want to talk to them about sensitive things in a way that’s different to what you experienced growing up?

This week I’ll describe how fundamentally important it is to have conversations with kid(s) about consent, bodies, relationships, sex and all the other sensitive stuff.

And I’ll show you why watching Sitting in a Car each week may not be all you need to make the changes your kid(s) needs you to make.

To hear why I cry in this week’s episode, listen to this latest episode of Sitting in a Car.

Because I believe that when adults are willing to seek extra help and really make the big changes for the sake of their kids’ future, we can fundamentally change the health and quality of the relationships our kids have in the future.

x Sarah

To learn more about building more connections with your kids by talking about sensitive, stuff visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve to sign up for a free Masterclass ‘Build More Connection’ and get an introduction to The Evolve School.

I’ll see you on the other side.

Let’s talk about how to teach your kid about consent –

even if you’re not sure they’re old enough.

For a lot of us,

consent can feel like a super tricky area.

‘Cause consent is about sex, right?

So in order to chat with your kid about consent –

to help them know their own boundaries and needs,

while respecting the boundaries and needs of others –

they need to know about sex.

Right?

Actually, not at all!

We can start helping our kids understand about consent

from when they’re very small.

To hear more about how to teach our kids about consent

in everyday ways, no matter their age, watch this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car

x Sarah

If you’re finding that teaching consent is becoming increasingly important to you,

DM me so I can let you know how The Evolve School could help you do this important part of parenting x

Sarah's instagram 

Let’s talk about how to chat with your kid about puberty,

in a way that makes them feel supported

and able to come to you with any questions or worries they have as they grow up.

Here’s what A LOT of courageous but tongue-tied parents do,

when it comes to chatting about puberty.

They wait to chat with their kids about puberty,

until they begin to see the signs that their kid might be starting to go through it.

And THEN,

they have, or try to have, a conversation with their kid about it.

That makes sense right?

But here’s the problem.

if you don’t talk about any of this stuff with your kid when they are younger and feeling relaxed in their body,

AND THEN suddenly out of the blue start talking about it with your kid while their body is already changing,

there’s going to be a *lot* of awkwardness.

But! Good news.

There are ways to prevent this.

For lots more about how to dive into the complexities of starting ongoing conversations with your kid

about puberty and so much more,

listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

Let’s talk about how to teach your kids about sex, 

even if you feel too embarrassed to start! 

I have a story for you in this week’s podcast

about a moment once upon a time in my own life,

where I had a sensitive conversation with one of my kids at bedtime, in a dark and quiet room. 

(You can hear all about it in this week’s podcast.)

There’s more than just one way to have a sensitive conversation. 

We talk about this a lot in The Evolve School, 

the programme I teach for parents & caring adults 

who want to go from courageous but tongue-tied

to evolved and communicating.

(I say more about that in this weeks video)

So what can you do, if you know your kids need these kinds of chats, 

about sex, bodies, babies and all the things,  

but you’re too embarrassed to start? 

Listen to this week’s episode of Sitting In A Car to hear how to explore your own embarrassment in order to help your kids.

And to sign up to get EVEN MORE help with your conversations about sex, head over to www.sarahsproule.com/evolve to join the new free masterclass and Discover A New Way to Be More Connected With Your Kid(s) … and talk about sensitive subjects.

How can we prepare for the ‘What is sex?’ questions from our kids,

before they even think to ask them?

(and what about “How do the sperm ACTUALLY get out of your body, Dad?”)

This is such a good topic to chat about.

Because there are LOADS of courageous but tongue-tied parents out there,

who are nervously waiting for their kids to ask questions

about sex, bodies, babies and all the things.

They worry, Am I doing the right thing by waiting?

They worry, Is my child too young for us to be chatting about this?

They might even worry, Shouldn’t my kid be asking these questions by now?

To discover how to prepare for these convos

before your kids have even thought about them,

join me on this week’s episode of Sitting In A Car.

See you there,

x Sarah