Sitting in a Car

Let’s chat about the hidden questions you mightn’t even know to ask, 

that will give you more connected conversations with your kids.

These questions come from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method, 

which is all about connection – and empathy. 

You may be surprised to learn (or not!) 

that the key to a lot of the questions we parents find the hardest to answer, 

is empathy. 

So let’s talk about the emotions and thoughts that go unsaid 

when we’re having sensitive conversations with our kids –

and how we can use those hidden questions, no matter how scary, 

to create a more connected family.

If you feel like you could use some more support to build deeper connections with your kid(s), join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

‘My 8-year-old found a lump under her nipple, and I had a suspicion it could be breast buds.

I don’t remember myself if they hurt or not coming in, and I wasn’t able to talk to my own mother about anything to do with puberty.

I want to be there for my daughter, but it’s so hard when I had no advice or support passed down to me. So I feel quite lost.’

This is such a beautiful question. 

Because it’s about so much more than breasts growing. Isn’t it?

My answer comes from the Kindness pillar of the Evolved Family method, 

which helps us get ourselves into a really good place, 

so we can be there for our child in the way that we want to be. 

And NOT go on the old programming. 

(Or the total lack of programming.)

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to support your kid as they grow their breasts, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

Ps. At the end, I mention a new mini workshop that would be great for you if you are having trouble starting conversations about all sorts of sensitive stuff with any child you have at home. To find out more, visit me at www.sarahsproule.com/sayit

‘How can I talk to my 7-year-old about body image?’

This parent’s young girl has started saying not very nice things about her own body, 

and has started expressing an interest in extremely skinny body types. 

(You can hear the whole question & story in this week’s podcast.)

This courageous but tongue-tied parent is confused, 

like many of us would be in her situation,

because she’s done everything right. 

She’s taught her kid about healthy eating, exercise and all the things. 

She’s never criticised her own body, or mentioned weight around her child. 

So how has this happened? 

As you can see, this is deep stuff.

If you’re feeling like you could use more support in this part of your parenting, and to hear much more about how to chat about body image with your kids, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car here - 

And I’ll see you there.

x Sarah

'How can I talk to my kids about porn, in a non-alarming way?'

Let’s  dig deep into three simple ways to make this easier.

The answer to this question comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method. 

As you might know, if you watch Sitting in a Car quite a lot,

the Courage pillar has to do 

with how we as adults can take responsibility for speaking up, 

and the tools we can use to do it. 

We learn how to start conversations, and what sentences and words to use.

The Courage pillar is especially helpful here, 

because a lot of grown-ups feel afraid of this topic! 

We might try to shield our kids from ever seeing porn in the first place (not possible), 

or we might worry that if we talk about it… they might go look for it. 

So how can we chat with our kids about porn, 

in a way that is non-alarming?

For lots of specific tips, watch this week’s episode here.

And if you’d like to get Sitting in a Car straight to your inbox, Dm me and I’ll get that sorted for you. 

x Sarah

‘Can I talk to my 7-year-old about her clitoris?’

This is such an important episode this week.

Because lots of us don’t feel comfortable talking about the clitoris.

The clitoris is all about pleasure. 

And pleasure is something we might find difficult to talk about with kids.

And you know what? That’s perfectly normal. 

A lot of us have had no modelling for how to have conversations about sensitive stuff with our kid(s. 

So it makes sense that we might feel a bit uncomfortable,

and not at all confident about how to do it.

This week I’ve got three tips to help you have the clitoris talk this week. They are all from the Growth Pillar inside the Evolved Family Method. 

To hear all about it, come join me in on Sitting in a Car.

And if you’d like to learn more about the Evolved Family Method, send me a PM and I’ll help you with that x

‘How can I chat with my squeamish 8-year-old about periods?

I started a conversation with her once about periods, and she was totally squicked out. 

I’d love some help.’

What a great question. I’m sure this parent isn’t alone in this. 

So what do we do when we have info we need to give our kid

so that they stay safe and healthy growing up, 

but which they’re too squicked out to hear?

My answer this week comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method. 

The Courage pillar helps us look at how we can support our child exactly as they are, 

without pretending, or wishing, they were easier to talk to about sensitive stuff!

It teaches us how to start conversations, and which actual words to use.

To hear more about how to use the Courage pillar and chat with your squicky kid about periods, 

listen to this week's episode of SItting in a Car here.

And here’s to doing our best to stay connected to our growing kids.

x Sarah

How we can help our child feel like they can tell us anything. 

The way this wonderful mum phrased her question, was, 

‘How can I get my child to confide in me?’ 

Kids confide in adults when they feel a sense of connection, and a sense of safety. 

So how do we create that? 

In this week’s episode, we start with the question - 

Who do YOU confide in?

We learn from our own experience confiding in people,

about how to create this experience for our kids. 

So it's good to know exactly what those qualities are, that make us feel safe to confide in someone.

In this episode, there are three easy to use strategies and loads of real-life stories and examples, to help you take action to build deeper connection with your kid(s). 

To discover how you can use your own life experience to make this easier for your kid, make sure you don’t miss out on the most recent episode of Sitting in a Car.

This week, let’s talk about

how to avoid passing on shame to our kid(s). 

And I’m going to show you how the Evolved Family method does exactly that with it’s three pillars, 

Growth, Courage, and Kindness. 

Because the whole Evolved Family method is about reducing shame.

The best way I know to reduce shame, 

is by building deeper connections with our kids. 

And the way we do that, 

is by having conversations with our kids about sensitive things. 

Connection is about openness.

Connection is about feeling seen & heard.

When we feel connected w someone else,

shame doesn’t exist there.

So! Press play and listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car, cos it’s a special one. 

And if you’d like to know more about Growth, Courage and Kindness, and the Evolved Family method, 

email me at sarah (at) sarah sproule (dot) come and I’ll let you know the next time The Evolve School opens its doors.

‘I’m a trans dad and I want to be able to talk to my girls about sex in all its forms. 

How can I approach chats about non-traditional relationships?’ 

There are three things to think about, when you’re having chats like this with your kids.

It’s so important to teach our kids that they don’t have to fit into a mould, 

and be who the world tells them they should be!

And that they can just be fully themselves.  

And indeed, doesn’t the world tell us quite narrow, quite fixed things sometimes 

about what s=e=x is, 

and what gender is, and what relationships are? 

But of course we know that the options for who we grow up to be is so much wider and wonderful than that. 

So if we can chat with our kids about how the world teaches us very limiting ideas about relationships, 

we can help them to grow into whomever they are. 

And for much more about exactly how to have chats with your kids

in ways that leave loads of room for our kids’ uniqueness and the amazing diversity of life,  

listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

‘I would like to understand why my 11-year-old stops all my attempts 

to talk about sex, bodies and puberty.’ 

I love this question because this parent is curious about what might be going on for her child.

And indeed it is a curious thing, 

and it’s very, very common! 

Tweens not wanting to talk about sensitive stuff, happens all the time.

There are three reasons why this very common thing might be happening.

My answers today came from the Kindness pillar of the Evolved Family method, 

which helps courageous but tongue-tied parents

create evolved and communicating families. 

There are three explanations why this is happening, so to learn more, join me for this week's episode of Sitting in a Car.

Here’s to doing our best for our growing and changing kid(s),

x Sarah