Sitting in a Car

This week, let’s talk about what to do 

when your 8-year-old asked you (quite a while ago) What is sex? 

and you said you’d get back to them with a good answer, 

and now you’re all ready with an answer – but they’ve never asked again!

My answer this week comes from some of the core principles that underpin the Evolved Family method. 

A lot of you probably already know about the Evolved Family method's three pillars, 

Courage, Growth, and Kindness. 

But underpinning those pillars, are a few foundational principles. 

This week’s answer comes from those ideas. 

If you need to give an answer to a question your 8 year old asked a while ago but hasn’t asked again, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

This week, a parent asks what to do

when chats with your kids about sensitive stuff, aren't happening naturally.

We might be ready to be open with our kids, and have open, ongoing convos

about sex, bodies, babies and all the things,

so that our kids get the info they need.

But our kids aren’t asking.

And now they’re growing older – and still not asking!

So what do we do?

My answer this week comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method.

The Courage pillar helps us to start conversations,

manage big emotions,

and start convos about stuff that doesn’t come up on its own.

If you feel like you could use some more support with chats that aren't happening naturally, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

www.sarahsproule.com/bio

This week, a parent asks, 

‘How can I turn uncomfortable conversations with my kid about sensitive stuff into more comfortable ones?’ 

What a great question this is.

What can we do about our own feelings and fears around having sensitive chats that hold us back from having them, or make it super hard and uncomfortable when we do talk?

My answer this week comes from the Kindness pillar of the Evolved Family method. 

The Kindness pillar helps us do many awesome things. 

But one of its most important jobs, is helping us really focus in on ourselves, so we can be more available to our kid when we’re talking about sensitive stuff. 

I know all this might feel quite radical... 

Supporting our kid, by first asking ourselves what we need! 

That’s because it IS radical. 

But I promise you, it is so, so powerful.

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and turn uncomfortable conversations with my kid about sensitive stuff into more comfortable ones, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

‘How can I get on the same page as my ex/co-parent, 

when it comes to having sensitive conversations with our kids about sex, bodies, babies and all the things, so that we’re both saying the same thing?’

What a great question!

My answer this week comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method, which gives us the skills to chat about complex stuff, helps us create connection with our kids as we do it, and supports us to take action when we need to. 

Now, what a lot of us do, when we’re co-parenting with an ex, is hold off on having these sensitive conversations because frankly we’re worried about the conflict it might create.

And I get that.

Conflict with an ex is SO hard.

And conflict with an ex about how to parent around sensitive stuff, is just SUPER hard.

So we might try & talk our ex into agreeing to parent the way we do.

And we might send them articles, or YouTube videos, or an episode of Sitting In A Car.

And we might wait til there’s some kind of consensus, before saying anything to our kids.

The problem is… we know that our kids need to know this stuff.

And we know at some level that waiting, and not talking, isn’t what’s best for them.

So what do we do?

How can we co-parent with an ex, and have sensitive conversations with our kids at the times we need to have them, even if we parent in different ways, and don’t agree?

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about getting on the same page with your ex/co-parent about sensitive convos, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

Good morning! Let’s chat about what you can do 

when you’ve got a 6-year-old who likes to hump the couch. :D

My answer for you this week comes from some of the values that underpin the whole Evolved Family method. 

Behaviour is communication. 

Our kids don’t do things for no reason or to wind us up. 

Behaviour is logical and there’s always a reason.

You see, our kid’s genitals, and sexual self, are just the same as their face, eyes, hands, respiratory system, and so on.

They’re just another bit of who they are as a human.

So what can you do, or should you do, if you have a kid who loves to rub their private bits on the furniture? 

The first thing to know, is that so much of parenting, has to do with asking ‘Is this normal?’ 

So: it’s normal to ask, is this normal. :)

Oftentimes, parents can feel very worried or concerned when ‘Is this normal?’ has to do with sex, gender, bodies and all the things. 

And I totally understand why. 

We’ve been programmed by our culture, whenever we hear about children and anything to do with sexuality, to jump to all kinds of scary conclusions.

But it’s actually normal for us adults,to learn as we go about what is normal and awesome for our kids, when it comes to their sexuality. 

And our kid teaches us this, by being their awesome self.

Discover more by watching this latest episode of Sitting in a Car. And if you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, send me a DM right here on FB. I’m here to help.

x Sarah

This week, let’s chat about what to do 

if your 7-year-old boy has just learned about periods – 

and you’re worried he’s going to share this exciting new info

with all of his friends!! 

Including his friends who are going to get periods someday, 

and who might not know about them yet. 

My answer to this question is from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method, 

which gives you the skills to speak up about complex stuff, 

and build more connection with your child as you do that.

And, it helps you to run interference between your child and the world at large,  

where other people might be thinking and parenting differently.

Unlike most of our own parents, we know 

that kids need to have the info about sex, puberty, bodies, babies and all the things.

And we know that giving our kids this information 

keeps them safer. 

But what happens when our parenting bumps up against the outside world? 

Where maybe other kids don’t have this info? 

Because maybe other parents don’t believe they should have it?

This is a complex one. So do watch  this week’s episode for the full details. 

And if you feel like you could use some extra support for this part of your parenting, comment below or send me a DM. I’m here to help...

x Sarah

I’ve a fantastic question for you this week. 

A parent writes,

‘How can I teach my 15-year-old daughter to say no 

when she’s in highly pressurised situations?’ 

My answer to this week’s question comes from the Courage pillar inside the Evolved Family Method – 

which helps us speak up about complicated things, 

using everyday situations,

in a way that builds deeper connection with our child(ren) as we do it. 

This is a super question because so many parents really don’t feel great about this bit of parenting. 

In the teenage years, we can feel a bit like our kid has drifted apart from us. 

We might feel our influence waning. 

We could feel a bit out of control, out of our depth. 

We might find ourselves saying things like, ‘You know you can always say no, right?’ 

And watching our teenager roll their eyes, and say, ‘I KNOW.’

And it's not a convo that feels very connected, or very good.

In fact, it’s MOST unhelpful!

So what can we do about it? 

If you feel like you could use some support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to teach your teen to say ‘No’ more easily, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

‘How do you balance giving your kid info, 

with trying to shape or limit what they do with that info? 

'Once you’ve told your kid what happens in sex, 

how do you build in that it’s not something for kids to do? 

My fear is that my super-curious 5-year-old will try & act it out with his friends in school. 

I really don’t want that phone call from school!’ 

This question is relevant for any of us who have started having convos with our kids that we hope will equip them for learning about this part of being human.

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to manage a 5-year-old who knows what intercourse is, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

This week, let’s chat about what to do 

when your 3-year-old is super interested in her little brother’s willy!

And keeps commenting on it in the bath. 

My answer comes from the two main concepts in my work: 

genitals are simply another part of our body, 

and sexuality is an everyday part of being a human being. 

This understanding is at the very heart of the Evolved Family method.

It’s actually quite powerful,

cos when we know this to be true, it gives us a lot of freedom! 

And all kinds of conversations with our kids become possible. 

Including chats about a younger brother’s willy.

So, if you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to support your 3-year-old who is super interested in her little brother’s willy, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

This week, let’s chat about how to have sensitive, connected conversations

when you have kids who are on the spectrum. 

What many families do, when they have kids living with Autism, 

is default to saying less, not more about sensitive stuff. 

But the key to having connected chats with kids who are ND isn’t saying less. 

It’s focusing in on what makes your kids unique and awesome,

and having chats in ways that make the most of those qualities.

So, if you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to support your kid on the spectrum, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah