Skill Not Will: For Couples

Happy New Year and enjoy this re-release as we work on a big episode for next week! 

Find Dan at danielanear.com

This episode is part 2 to last week's about the Dreaded Drama Triangle. 

Learn how you can flip the script on the vortex that is the Drama Triangle, and change your mindset into a more empowered one. 

Find more info into Dan's practice HERE 

Book an appointment with Dan HERE 

Stay Curious!

Do you find yourself stuck in relational dynamics that are just never-ending drama? You want to break out of it, but feel powerless to the pull of the drama and the familiar cycles.  On this episode we share a very simple and yet profound model to look at these dynamics called the Drama Triangle. You will hear:  - what is the Drama Triangle and how it shows up in popular culture, religious stories and our everyday lives and relationships. - explanation of the 3 roles in the triangle: the Victim, the Rescuer and the Persecutor.  - an example of how this can look in a family system  - how you might feel like you're playing one role but the other people in the dynamic see you as something else And don't miss part 2 next week when we cover the healthy flip side to the Drama Triangle - the Empowerment Dynamic.  Some more great info on the Drama Triangle:  https://www.mygrow.me/the-drama-triangle/ Find more info into Dan's practice HERE Book an appointment with Dan HERE Stay Curious!

You may be in a situation in your relationship that you feel completely powerless over. You don't like how your life is going, but you don't know how you could possibly change things. You are tired of the status-quo, and feel like if your partner could change, then things would be better. 

But what if you have more power than you think? What if changing yourself or the way you interact with the dynamic would have a bigger impact on things that you even realise? 

Listen to Dan and Caitlin discuss how the system of a relationship can be changed and share some examples from their own experience of big shifts they have experienced from small actions. 

Find more info into Dan's practice HERE 

Book an appointment with Dan HERE

Intro to our new ongoing series where we will be interviewing couples about how understanding personality types has impacted their relationships. 

Dan and Caitlin discuss some examples of how personality types have massively helped their relationships and those of clients. 

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Dan talks about a concept he uses in his practice, which was coined by Terry Real as "Bad Deals". This is when a couple gets into a pattern or unspoken agreement that really doesn't work for either of them, but they just keep continuing their side of the "bargain" because they are just stuck and aren't aware of another way of operating. 

Dan also shares how he works with couples who are in this situation to break out of these cycles and come up with better ways of operating. 

If you would like to work with Dan, you can find more info and bookings at danielanear.com

Caitlin has her little sister, Heidi, in for a chat about the Enneagram. Heidi is a certified Enneagram Coach and takes us through an overview of what the Enneagram is and a brief rundown of all the numbers.

She also shares how she uses the Enneagram as a coach and how it has made a huge difference in the ways that she approaches her life and relationships. 

It was so fun to witness her impressive understanding of the system and hear about all she has going on!

You can find Heidi, including her Free Intro to the Enneagram Course at formedtoflourish.com

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Next, listen back to these other episodes where we discussed the Enneagram:

Ep 25 Why I Love the Enneagram

Ep 14 with Enneagram 2 Steve Johnson

Stay Curious!

Dan and Caitlin share a huge change they've undertaken as a family. They've recently moved from Adelaide, Australia to live in Caitlin's hometown in Minnesota, USA.  You'll hear a bit about the reason for this big move and also plans for Dan's practice going forward.  

Dan is an INFJ and Caitlin is an ISFJ in the Myers-Briggs system, and anyone who knows a little bit about IxxJ's knows that they are not very good with change. The couple discusses how their individual personalities played out under the pressure of a big move, how their similarities were helpful in having an understanding of the other person's experience but also how those similarities meant some blind spots that made it more challenging. Dan, as an INFJ, leads with the cognitive function "Introverted Intuition" (Ni) and Caitlin leads with "Introverted Sensing" (Si). These 2 functions relate to time and stress very differently and you will hear specifically how that played out in this situation. 

Dan is now consulting in person in Roseville, MN as well as on Zoom for international or out of state clients.  You can see available appointments at danielanear.com. 

We're back! We've been quiet on here, for reasons we'll explain in the next episode. But we're back with this chat about what it means to be curious in life and especially in relationships. Are you more likely to get stuck in your own perspective or are you able to keep an open frame of mind? How can we change these impulses to embrace curiosity? 

Find more including bookings for appointments for couples and individuals (in person or via zoom) at danielanear.com