Slop Quest

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy can’t get his penis to sit still in his pants and he’s not a fan of a certain of wrestler’s rubber bands. Then they come up with a condiment based super hero show. Then O’Neill finds out something very “wicked” and watches fake documentaries on a blank tv . Andy debates Ryan on the appeal of giant women. Then the boys find out about cloning wooly mammoths and intelligently debate the ethics of cloning. Andy reveals his aversion to stupid people and how he thinks he can “catch it”. Then O’Neill tries to convince Andy that he has an 88 IQ. Then they talk about the bags of shredded million dollar bills they used to sell. O’Neill pranks a company as Garrison Keillor . Then Andy torments O’Neill with clips from “Jamaican Me Horny”. Then the boys come up with a children’s science show. O’Neill has to go to bed with soap all over him. Then Andy’s neighbors get revenge on an awful person. 

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/c/slopquest Aaron gives us the green light as we come out of the booth swinging hard, then he hits us with a grill cheese recipe that leaves O’Neill speechless. Andy talks about some good old Christian butt banging that was sweeping his community. Then they go back to the old well of ballsack deodorant. O’Neill creates a puppet to keep people from sitting next to him on a flight. Andrew talks about the “r-word” in Three Ninjas. O’Neill starts a third political party and doesn’t know what mitochondria does. Then the boys create dating websites site ideas for pure business $$$$$. We’re talking amazing business ideas this episodes. Ryan does some amazing contrarian bull crap that enrages Andy.  Then they create a dopamine replenishment program that would make Dr. Huberman jealous. Then they break the glass ceiling forever with a new economic model that will revolutionize the world.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Quincy Jones leaves the world with some incredible quotes. Andy has an incredible update on his traumatic past. O’Neill eats brake dust grown basil then he fantasies about pushing people over who are taking dumps in the wilderness. Andy puts his pants in the oven while Arron puts his pants in the freezer. Then Andy wants to take out a life insurance policy on O’Neill because he keeps doing dangerous stuff. Then Ryan has a bone to pick with Transcendental Mediation and Andy’s friend gets a heck of deal on mantras. Then the boys unpack Tucker Carlson’s bed demon and how to use the “demon defense” for cheating. Then Ryan unpacks the darkness behind Jeepers Creepers. Then the police come for a jury duty dodger.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys toy with the idea of telemarketing their own podcast. This leads to O’Neill remembering starting a grease fire when he was kid because he was on the phone with a telemarketer. Then Aaron recounts a telemarketing nightmare call. Then Andrew parties with a 60 year old professor and O’Neill does not think this guy ruled even though Andy did. Then Andy learns harpsichord. Then Andy talks real life hobbits as O’Neill tries to remember hobbit names and can’t.  O’Neill doesn’t care about scientific discoveries and this infuriates Andy. Then O’Neill and Andy get into an epic argument about “what’s better than the Opera”. Then O’Neill tells a classic story about a chain link fence. Then the boys come up with catch phrase for increasing the birth rate.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan taunts Andy with 2012 Los Angeles home prices. Then Ryan talks about the organ thief conspiracy facing hospitals while Andy talks about how to measure fat guy’s inseam. Then Andy wants to work out at dude’s only naked gym but he can’t seem to sell O’Neill on the idea. Then they talk about how showing the b-hole is the ultimate path to financial freedom. Then Andy f’s up a friend’s joke he’s trying to plug. Then they talk about how gross wearing sneakers inside during the 80’s and 90’s was. The gang read’s Elbert’s Freddy Got Fingered review and lose it at how mad it made Ebert. Then O’Neill brags about eating French cookies that only have 4 grams of sugar in them. Then O’Neill borrows one of Andy’s DvD and sticks it in a toaster. Then the boys come up with an idea for medicine that works BETTER when you drink and O’Neill talks about how bad old people blew it.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan gets mad at Andy for hogging the intro then he gets even madder that Andy won’t listen to his sexy deep voice. O’Neill goes for a jog in a wildfire and pollen clouds and the complains his throat is sore. Andy reveals O’Neill’s hidden piss spots and they aren’t quite as wildernessy as O’Neill has made it seem. Then Andy does his own taxes and becomes miserable much to Ryan’s chagrin. The boys come up with a new screenplay idea for a movie called Trunk Driver where the fatal flaw of the main character can only consume “high quality ingredients”. Then Andy thinks the movie Flight was a documentary. Then they talk suspicious celebrity deaths. There’s some Tesla battery mishap talk and Ryan is concerned about Andy falling to doody play. Then Ryan chastises Andy’s writing ability. Ryan then thinks all of Andy’s psychological problems come from the movie Over The Top. There’s a fight about consumerism in Christmas and Andy goes to church. Then O’Neill comes up with a romantic way for both of the boys to take a dump together. Something bad happened to Andy when he was in preschool and O’Neill tries to get to the bottom of it.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys get banned from every single short story subreddit on the internet.  The Whassup Man of Reddit tries to post his old spooky story on Reddit and people get pissed. Then O’Neill suggest they post their spooky stories on assassins’ forums on the dark web. Then they talk robotaxi nonsense. Then they make Aaron read the spoooky story and he makes Andy choke when he gives the story his rating.  Then they create a version of the sitcom Home Improvement where Al gets dark. Then there’s some very critical HOA talk. Then there’s a spooky Halloween HOA story teaser everyone will enjoy!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill is furious that people believed aliens did cattle mutilations. Then Andrew is equally furious when identical twins are not revealed and the boys write a Randy Newman song about it.  O’Neill thinks it is a million dollar idea. Then they talk about how to use 700 lb kids to protect classrooms.  Then Andy introduces Ryan to the Alternate History subreddit and it makes him very sad. Then Aaron has an unbelievable theatrical experience. And Ryan explains his crashing of his old school’s graduation. 

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys debate which drugs count as party drugs. Andy has cocaine on his toenail but won’t come clean about it. The gang fondly recounts Ari Shaffir doodie stories. Andy finds out that Apple Podcasts had been transcribing portions of the show as “fun” previews to entice people but they look even more unhinged. Ryan is back from Skankfest with some news!  Then he recounts his next door neighbors fighting relentlessly, a dog pisses all over O’Neill’s feet and a YouTube comment blows him away. Andy gets a new job painting lady dongs.  Then Andy has sex ed from a nun and she won’t answer any of his questions. Then they both reminisce about setting fires as children.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest  O’Neill is frantic to get all the facts about Diddy’s sex parties and he’s full of plenty of “I Told You So’s”. Then Andy and Ryan come up with a way to get away with nearly anything legally. Then O’Neill blows Andy’s mind when he tells him there’s buttfuckin’ at the rub and tug. Then there’s some pilot talk. Then they come up with a new business idea of hunting down short make celebrities and spanking them. Then they come up with a fool proof way to cheat on someone that falls apart completely under the tiniest scrutiny. Then it’s time to vote on the Toy Hall of Fame. Then the boys remember the late great Eric Hites.