Slop Quest

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan opens the show by pretending to be Andy in an 80’s sci-fi comedy mix up. O’Neill goes for a quiet hike and realizes how bad his tinnitus is. This leads to some overheard neighbor conversations. Then the boys lament not being smart enough to be successful but not dumb enough to fit in. Ryan can’t sleep after the revelation of what women read in their downtime. O’Neill explains why he’s terrified of bachelorette parties. Then he sees a woman in a short skirt with no panties on and has a wild old man meltdown about it. Then O’Neill gets furious at Scott Kurtz for trying to give sex advice to guys in their twenties.  Then Andy laments the death of prank calls. Ryan stages an intervention on Andrew’s gullibility right before he invents an entire documentary out of his imagination.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan attacks Andy about sword fighting again. Andy pulls the fake text prank on some kids and it makes O’Neill mad. Then Andy makes black bean brownies and sooooomeone has a problem with it. Then Ryan wants a new show where Andy is fading in and out of consciousness on drugs while Ryan roasts him. Our old screenplay, “Michael’s By The Sea”, gets more screenplay advice from Reddit. Ryan dreams about working with a chimpanzee on a podcast. Ryan tries to convince Andy to fight him but he doesn’t take the bate. Then in an amazing turn of events , Ryan’s brother finds an actual Valparaiso police report of his antics. It’s unbelievable.

 Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy and Ryan create a new musical theater sensation based on real life events: Tree Well, The Musical. The fantastic musical incorporates the amazing staging techniques of “Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark” and unbelievable improvisational performances by cellphone calls from his comedy friends. Then they float the idea of getting James Cameron to spend a billion and a half dollars on the film adaptation. Then Andy gets advice from people who don’t live in Los Angeles on how to cold approach a celebrity to get his career off the ground. Ryan tries to get Andy to become a corpse sniffing dog but human. Then Google AI gives the boys the feeblest rundown on other cultures’ practices to the point we don’t think google actually did any of its homework. This gets even more unhinged when they ask for a report on American culture especially when it gets to Southern culture. Then they lambast a new redpill married loser dude.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy tries to implement Ryan’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” approach to life. Then the boys talk about the “Fatties of History” as well as implementing “Fat History Month”. There’s some discussion on male hygiene then they move on to Conan O’Brien conspiracy theories. Then they talk about how Earl Skakel was robbed of a late night hosting gig. Then they talk about using stem cells for penis enlargement. This leads to some amazing business ideas. Then Andy expresses his dark thoughts to his old school Chicago PCP.  Then they talk about the efficacy of paper on doctor tables. Andy has an unsubstantiated conspiracy theory about a cast member of The Office. Then Andy finds out about the “tiny people mushroom hallucinations “ and it blows Ryan’s mind. Then Andy has to poop in a paper hat at the doctors office and has the dump of a lifetime. Then Ryan makes Andy dry heave with a new cpr technique. Then the boys find an article about how it’s abusive to open up to your girlfriend.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Andrew claims to have “fighter’s arthritis” and O’Neill will not let this slide. There’s some classic dog piling from O’Neill that will delight old BCUSA fans. Andrew is sick of taking dumps and wants to invent a dump teleporter. Andy thinks we was “born” to be a sword fighter which elicits tears of laughter from O’Neill. Intense mockery abounds. YouTube screws over the stream again and Andy panics . Andy and Ryan are vindicated again with their predictions that the government would distract people from “the files” by talking about aliens. Then they argue about whether or not Elizabeth Holmes is hot and they create a “Rain Man” Barbie Doll. Then comic creator , Winston Gambro, posts the boy’s joke screenplay “Michael’s By The Sea” on Reddit asking for screenplay advice and the results are fantastic. The boys find a rapper who sounds just like O’Neill. Andy gets put in Instagram prison for a meme then forces O’Neill to freestyle rap. O’Neill then gives his best life advice “all businesses are scams and make sure to eat beans.”.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan is worried that Andy is on drugs again and is overstimulated by his preshow antics. Andy brings in a physical therapy device and annoys O’Neill with it.  There’s some erudite discussion on the California water system. Ryan listens to celebrity podcasts and takes issue with their quality. Then he talks about the commeritive Porsche 911 for 911 that features Twin Towers headlights. Then he gets angry that people celebrate centennials. Then Andy and Ryan finally understand why women “pick the bear”. Andy’s arm spasm causes him to hit O’Neill with a family heirloom and it causes lots of regret. There’s some German music talk where they question why there’s not more of it. Then Andy wants to make a rap album starring O’Neill. then we freestyles under a beat and everyone loves it.  Then O’Neill tries and fails to read listener comments. It all ends with a classic Andy pantless dance.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! On this episode of Slop Quest Ryan doesn’t believe Andy about where the phrases “Chop Chop” and “Long time no see”. Then they brainstorm ways to sell Americans on high speed rails. Andy tries to convince O’Neill to show him his patented mole removal technique but O’Neill fears teaching him would be too homoerotic. YouTube takes a dump on their stream as soon as they bring up anything controversial. Then Ryan tries to gas up Andy on his driving skills but Andy doesn’t believe him. This leads them to talk about how movies have people “dig deep” in order to perform better but how that never happens. Then Ryan can’t let go of his “fondue” character and repeats lines he comes up with about fondue to himself the entire time he’s skiing. O’Neill realizes that he’s not sociopathic enough to become a huge sensation in show business. Then Andy develops a new move on his inversion table that leaves O’Neill speechless. Andy then receives an unbelievable pat on the back from his wife. O’Neill thinks Andy can never become a “regular guy” again after all his ridiculous antics.  There’s more Dave Ramsey Only Fans advice from callers.

Full episodes and much more at Patreon.com/slopquest

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! Ryan destroys his body skiing while Andy destroys his body with sword practice. There’s a little Epstein talk while a drone hovers outside the window and Ryan fantasizes about the government bursting into his apartment to attack him. Ryan does a “deep dive” on microchips and concludes they are all fake. This enrages Andy who insists that the philosophy of “I don’t understand something so it’s fake” is not a valid scientific point of view. Andy thinks Ryan’s solo ski trios are Dark Aging his brain. Then Andy finally eats sushi again and Ryan thinks he has worms. Then Ryan fantasizes about Andy going to Norway and being dressed up as a little boy.  Then Ryan wants Andy to come to his stand up show so he can do crowd work with him. Andy threatens to sneak a bullhorn into his comedy show and heckle him. Then they talk about how to survive a post nut bj. Ryan gets his gas card declined and thinks he uncovered a vast conspiracy. Then Andy finds some good AIO Reddit threads where people tell a woman to divorce her husband because he didn’t like a character on a reality housewives show.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! Ryan talks about how the real small businessmen are drug dealers. Then Andy talks about the Alkaline water scam and scares himself into backtracking everything. Andy goes tubing in Big Bear and claims it’s even better than skiing but SOMEBODY disagrees.  Andy and Ryan try to rehabilitate the cigarette industry. Ryan floats the idea of running for president based solely on revitalizing the American fireworks industry. Andy finds a subreddit where idiots are posting mall katanas and asking his valuable they are. Then Ryan accuses Andy of having “treatment resistant swordplay”. Andy runs out of people to talk about swords with and resorts to keeping a diary of his swordplay gainz. This infuriates O’Neill. Then O’Neill gets roasted by a listener in one of the funniest ways possible. O’Neill insists he is a very supportive friend and is very motivated to build Andy up. Then Andy has to negotiate taking a shit at O’Neill’s apartment. Then Andy cajoles O’Neill into going on Comics Unleashed and doing his 5’9 bit.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! There’s a little Tina Turner talk at the start of the show. Ryan has a series of injuries when his luck runs out. Andy has a 14 hour delay on a flight. Ryan has his mind blown when he finds out lots of Bible Belt Christians don’t consider Catholics Christian. Then Andy attends a sword fighting class behind a CVS. Andy hides most of Reddit from himself. Then Andy recalls a product for getting lap dances that are just rubber underwear with lube in them. Ryan can’t believe that sexual surrogates are real. Ryan tries to figure out why Airforce Amy was a popular sex worker. Then the boys talk about Bill Gates a bit. Then Andy finds out how many dudes in their thirties have to be on viagra. O’Neill works out at an elementary school playground in Texas.