Small Changes Big Shifts

Welcome to our Special Topics episode in July, where we bring in two of our sponsors to help bring our listeners community-building engagement, prevention and education opportunities available.

Today's Special Topics Episode

Diane O'Byrne presents an amazing opportunity for women in the Kansas City area on September 3, 2022 – the Living in Vitality conference at AdventHealth (formally known as Shawnee Mission). This year marks its 25th anniversary, where they have spent all prior years bringing women together to learn and receive lifelong self-care takeaways that will finally get them closer to stepping into their best lives. She highlights what the day encompasses and what the admission includes for each woman. She even shares a heartwarming story about a friend's sister who experienced a life-changing moment for herself while at this event, which is often why so many women choose to return again and again for this event every year.

In the last segment of the show, Kathy Armitage from the YMCA in Greater Kansas City joins us to break the barriers that we often put around ourselves as we age. After her father experienced a tragic fall, which led to complications and his passing, Kathy has spent the last 22 years of her career at the YMCA creating programs for people aging and looking for a way to stay active, improve their flexibility and strength, all while removing limitations we often put on ourselves as we age. She shares a handful of opportunities and programs available at the YMCA of Greater Kansas City that have helped thousands of people see that society has put folks who age in a box – but each person has an opportunity to go outside that box and start gaining strength and confidence at any age. She even shares some tips you can do at home to improve balance and fall prevention, since most falls happen at home.

About Today's Guests:

Diane O'Byrne is the Co-Chair of Living in Vitality annual event at AdventHealth. She has four generations of women in her family who are living in vitality, and has a passion to see more women in our community discover the power in self-care and resources available for them to live a life better than they could have ever imagined.

Kathy Armitage is the Active Lifestyles Program Director at the YMCA of Greater Kansas City. She specializes in working with people who are 50 and older through healthy living programs that support body, mind, and spirit. She has spent the last 22 years at the YMCA developing programs for these ages, and pioneered the programs that help people see that aging doesn't mean they will lose their flexibility, strength, or mobility.

Mentioned in the Episode:

• Living in Vitality Event – September 30, 2022
• Get Moving like an Animal with Tony Temple – Kids Living in Vitality
• YMCA in Greater Kansas City
• SmartStart Program at the YMCA

"When your body is free of interference, your body will heal." - Dr. Gilles LaMarche

Dr. Gilles LaMarche was living his best life – a successful chiropractic practice, healthy, fit, active, and raising his children who became incredible human beings themselves. But in 2003 at age 48, his world was turned inside out when he suddenly began having difficulty breathing while doing simple activities like walking from one side of the room to the other. Doctors soon discovered he had cardiomegaly – an enlarged heart that was continuing to enlarge due to breathing difficulties. He was given 24 months left to live, with the only option being a heart and lung transplant that may give him another five years. Because his lifestyle would be extremely limited after the double transplant, he decided to come to terms with the terminal diagnosis and opt out of the procedure. On May 15, 2004, Dr. Gilles woke up with a revelation. He realized he had been preaching the chiropractic paradigm and its healing power for 25 years to his patients, and began wondering about his own spine and nervous system. This episode will have you leaning in to hear every word of his powerful story about how he discovered what was really going on inside of him – and how his body could heal from chiropractic medicine. As he approaches his 25th year since his diagnosis, he is preparing to run the 2023 Masters World Championship – the toughest race in all of track and field.

About Today's Guest:

Dr. Gilles LaMarche is a natural-born leader and one of the greats within the chiropractic world. He is the Vice President of University Advancement and Enrollment, but has also dedicated his life to helping over 750,000 people as a chiropractor over 25 years in Northern Ontario, Canada. He has spoken to audiences throughout Canada, United States, Mexico, Japa, Scandinavia, Australia, Europe, and the Caribbean. He is the co-author of more than nine books including Say Yes to Chiropractic Success and the Parker System for Professional Success. He was named Canadian Chiropractor of the Year in 2006 by readers of Canadian Chiropractic Magazine, and has been sharing his story around the world about the healing power of the nervous system in our body.

Mentioned in the Episode:

• Parker's Principles
• Gilles LaMarche LinkedIn
• Diversity Woman Media Conferences
• Life University

"The mechanics in the body are essentially about function." - Brian Stewart

Brian Stewart wasn't expecting to find his life passion through some injuries he endured during high school, but that's exactly how he discovered that he wanted to help people by becoming a physical therapist. His physical therapists (PTs) during his high school years made a significant impact on his life by not only helping him heal, but also teaching him the mechanics of the body by breaking it down into simple concepts so that he could step into his best life. That influence shaped his life, and today he's on a mission to improve people's lives by helping them understand simple things like how a joint moves and how the body works as a whole together so each person who walks through Kansas City Ortho Alliance can be given the opportunity to step into their best life like he was given. In this episode, Brian shares three pain problems he frequently sees people struggling with today – back pain, neck pain, and hip pain. He also provides helpful tips in each of these areas that can guide people either in prevention or pain management – in addition to some bonus tips that all matter to the body.

About Today's Guests:

Brian Stewart is the Chief Development Officer at Kansas City Orthopedic Alliance, which is the largest, independently owned orthopedic specialty practice in the Kansas City metro area. With over 50 medical providers in four locations, they have the ability to treat people where they live, work, and play. Their board-certified providers are equipped to handle almost any musculoskeletal injury – from shoulders to knees, ankles, hands, and neck to back. Brian was born and raised in Kansas City (Harrisonville, MO), and attended his undergrad years at the University of Kansas. He went on to study Physical Therapy at the University of Kansas, and later earned his doctorate in the same field. During his professional career, he's been part of Big Brothers/Big Sisters, United Way, United We, Cornerstones of Care, and KC Care Clinic. The Kansas City Orthopedic Alliance is proud to support its local organizations such KCUR, Te Deum, Harvesters, Children's Mercy, Phoenix Family, and several others.

Mentioned in the Episode:

• Kansas City Orthopedic Alliance website
• Quadrants of Well-Being

"Being a go-giver, whether it's in business or in a personal relationship, is never about a scorecard. It's about adding value to the other person's life. It's about acts of generosity that don't have an expectation of return." - Ana Gabriel Mann

When John David Mann and friend Bob Burg finished their manuscript for The Go-Giver, John asked his wife Ana to be the first to read it. One of the first things she said was, "Wow, this would make a great book about marriage." For years, people asked John and Ana what the secret sauce was for their marriage. How did they keep the "newlywed" fire alive after all these years? What helped them adopt a spirit of generosity with each other?

In this episode, John and Ana share that life is really about relationships, and that relationships demand a spirit of generosity. Being a go-giver in a relationship means dropping the scorecard and "transactional" expectations (e.g. Do this for me, and I'll do that for you). They both explain the importance of asking, "Are we feeding the us?" This means letting go of thoughts around winning, looking for fairness, and keeping track of scorecards in the relationship. Tune in to hear more of their wisdom and how they uncovered what ultimately went into this book.

About Today's Guests:

John David Mann is the author and co-author of more than 30 books, including four New York Times bestsellers and five national bestsellers. His classic 2008 parable called The Go-Giver (co-authored with his friend, Bob Burg) earn the 2017 Living Now Book Award's "Evergreen Medal" for its contribution to positive global change. Ana Gabriel Mann earned her M.A. in clinical psychology before going on to serve as an educator, therapist, corporate trainer, speaker, and coach. She currently coaches Go-Giver Marriage clients and leads the Go-Giver Marriage Coaches Training Program, where she trains coaches around the world.

Mentioned in the Episode:

• The Go-Giver Marriage Website
• The Go-Giver Marriage Workshop
• The Go-Giver Coaches Program
• The Go-Giver by John David Mann & Bob Burg
• The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
• Cold Fear by John David Mann and Brandon Webb

Today, we are welcoming Jeanette Metzler and Lisa Cummings to the show, where they open their hearts about what made them decide that their life mission was to help our communities feel well. Jeanette is the Community Benefit Manager at AdventHealth in Kansas City, and Lisa is the Wellness Manager at AdventHealth in Kansas City – both roles that immerse themselves in community outreach programs all over the metro. We invite you to listen in as they reveal what inspired them to start helping people find that higher quality of life, which goes beyond just regular doctor's visits and instead propels each person forward into their best lives. They share heartwarming stories of moments they've encountered within the Kansas City communities that have impacted their own roles and purpose on earth – everything from the simple act of listening to the community to watching kids bloom when the resources and support are provided for them.

1. People typically feel frustrated after their wellness check-ups. They find out the problem but are not always sure what to do next. AdventHealth is doing something to end that cycle for its patients.
2. We may not always get to see the seeds we plant in someone's life come to fruition, but we can trust that good will come from it - even from the smallest of seeds.
3. AdventHealth chooses to focus on two Kansas City neighborhoods at a time, and the impact they have seen happen by simply making resources more available in these neighborhoods is both moving and inspiring for other healthcare companies to follow.

• Living to Listen episode with Debra O'Bryan at CommunityAmerica
• AdventHealth website
• AdventHealth Community Outreach

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter
• YouTube

Tommy Sobel is the world's premier digital habits coach, having helped thousands of busy business leaders and top-performers reclaim tens of thousands of hours of productive time.

Using his background in neuroscience and behavior reconditioning, Tommy trains business leaders to improve their relationship with screens through coaching, proven systems and community, so they can reclaim 20-40 productive hours each week, live life in flow state and have more time off.

Later in the show, Dr. Robin welcomes Debra O'Bryan who is the Dream Manager and Well-Being Manager at CommunityAmerica Credit Union. She shares the moment when "active listening" was introduced in her life, and why the book by Michael Sorenson called I Hear You changed her relationships – both in the workplace and in her personal life.

Debra also explains why listening can be difficult for us, and why it's important not to fall into the "giving advice" or "fix it" trap when someone else is speaking. Instead, she encourages us to pause and validate what they must be feeling in this moment. Debra also sprinkles in some great active listening tips that can shift a company culture and build even better connections between its team members.

Memorable Quotes:

• "So, I just started to challenge some people in my community, some friends, and people in the film industry. Like, can you turn your phone into a brick for an hour a day and do something that you love in the real world?"
• "The problem today is that we are being overloaded with these dopogenic rewards, these things that give us that dopamine, that don't actually help us survive. Every single follow, every single email, every single vibration in our pocket gives us that sense of dopamine, and we've become overstimulated to it."
• "I think that we're now at this kind of new pillar of wellness where you need to carve out time and effort to get off the grid for your own mental health and wellbeing."

• "In my professional life I was doing a really good job of active listening, it was in my personal life with my family that I was getting it completely wrong. Validation in active listening was a game changer for me and my family."
• "We fall into advice, and not really listening, especially as a mom, we just want to fix it. But really, what people want in that moment – when we're venting – is we want someone to appreciate our struggle and empathize with us."
• "Active listening gets us to pause. It gets us to appreciate our relationships, and to learn. There are so many things we miss if we don't take the time to listen."

What You'll Learn:

How to create better habits around screen time and phone usage to live more fully, plus how active listening can help you develop stronger relationships both at work and at home.

This Episode Includes:

• While working in social media for Steven Spielberg at Dreamworks Studios, Tommy realized he was spending the equivalent of 5 months a year on his phone.
• Tommy was able to tie his anxiety, stress, and unhappiness to the amount of time spent on his phone.
• He decided to test his theory and spent one hour a day for a year doing something other than checking his phone. He was able to read 27 books that year.
• Tommy challenged his co-workers and friends to do the same. Out of that challenge sprang the digital wellness movement and the brick community.
• Tommy explains the neuroscience behind phone addiction and how we can change that addiction through habit formation.
• He believes the new frontier of wellness is going to be digital wellness.
• When creating new habits environmental design is one of the first tips that Tommy shares with people.
• If you are able to design your environment in such a way that you remove your phone from the situation it is easier to avoid checking it. For example, purchase a digital alarm clock rather than use your phone to keep it out of the bedroom.
• When you practice environmental design, you end up finding yourself being more present, more focused, and more attentive, and you're not even using willpower.
• When teaching your kids about digital wellness it's important not to vilify the phone. Instead, teach your kids the freedom they get to experience when they remove the phone from the equation.
• People are overwhelmed, stressed, fearful of the future, and so on, but there are ways that being an active listener can help them process their emotions without you having to give advice.
• Why active listening begins with empathy, and asking yourself, "How would I be feeling if I were in their shoes?"
• Why micro-validating team members throughout the day can make a difference on morale. Micro-validating allows people to move from emotion to logic. Logic cannot be reached without validation.
• Why it's important to ask a person if they need someone that will just listen or if they are looking for advice. Most people will know the answer.
• The importance of self-validation, and why we need to remember the phrase, "Be careful what you say, you're listening."

Three Takeaways from Today's Episode:

1. Turn your phone into a brick for one hour a day and try to do something you love instead.
2. Create phone-free zones in your house like in your bedroom or your car.
3. How to shift from giving advice to people and start listening to improve all of your relationships with people.

Mentioned In the Episode:

• Tommy Sobel
• Tony Gaskins
• The Millionaire Master Plan by Roger James Hamilton
• Digital Wellness Movement with Tommy Sobel
• I Hear You by Michael Sorensen
• Eat Your Peas
• CommunityAmerica Credit Union

Connect:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter
• YouTube

"I want my kids to grow up knowing who I am in real life, not just in their head. I cry in front of them, I'm peculiar, I'm a little weird. I want to show them all facets of myself so they can embrace it for themselves." - Brandon McAnderson

Brandon McAnderson is a former All-Big 12 Running Back at the University of Kansas, and today is a sideline reporter and pre-game host for KU football games. He is also an active member in the Kansas City community who brings men together to grow spiritually and address commonly held (and harmful) male stigmas present in today's world.

In today's show, Brandon shares why Father's Day is a good time for men to check in on their mental health. That means pausing and reflecting on all you have done as a father this year, and more importantly celebrating the big and small moments that you bring to your kids' lives – spiritually, mentally, and even a vulnerable side to let them see the real you, and not an idea of who you are. Brandon shares stories about his father, and the gratitude that has grown in his heart over the years for his dad, so much that his fatherhood has impacted the way he sees and loves his own two boys today. Brandon also opens up about his own bout of depression, and his inspirational journey toward healing and how it led to helping more men in our community.

Later, Dr. Robin chats with Sabrah Parsons, who is an Aquatics Director at the YMCA of Greater Kansas City. When she finished swimming lessons at age 15, little did she know that when her mother signed her up to be a lifeguard, that would be where she found her passion for swim safety. Sabrah shares that drowning is the number two leading accidental death for ages 0-8 – and it's completely preventable with drowning prevention classes. Sabrah describes what parents can look for in flotation devices for kids, and how to know if a swim class will teach their kids the proper techniques to self-rescue if there comes a time.

Three Takeaways:

1. How depression can show up in subtle ways and hide behind failure in our lives.
2. Relying on other people to make us happy isn't realistic – we need to search for the right mental health tools that work for us and have them ready in our pocket before a crisis happens.
3. Why swim lessons can prevent drownings up to 80% - plus three important moves the YMCA aquatic program teaches kids to promote self-rescue.

Mentioned In the Episode:

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• Big Shifts Foundation
• YMCA of Greater Kansas City
• Drowning prevention classes at the YMCA
• Puddle Jumper flotation devices for kids

Connect:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter
• YouTube

Deb Richard is a professional golfer, executive coach, and author of "Trust: Understanding My Why."

She is the CEO of Burlap Leaders where she specializes in helping others manifest quality relationships and live with purpose.

Deb's North Star, Trust, is central to her coaching of athletes, executives, and students.

She expands on the many lessons learned through golf and applies them to inspire successful living.

• "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."
• "I think a lot of times we get lost in a purpose that is self-fulfilling. I like to think of purpose as how we give that is ultimately the greatest pathway in life. It's not what we took from the world. It's what we gave to the world."
• "There are things you learn about trust as you're developing it in yourself, that really translates and it becomes that vision of what you're looking for in someone else to trust."

Trust is important in learning the why behind your actions and living with purpose.

• Through golf, Deb learned to trust herself and have self-confidence.
• When you develop your own trust in yourself you find it's the same things you're looking for when trusting in others.
• One example that Deb gives about trusting herself involves her sense of integrity and how that served her in different situations in life.
• It is hard to trust others when you don't fully trust yourself.
• If you weren't raised in an environment that promoted self-trust you can develop it in yourself by doing the mundane.
• The mundane includes non-negotiables that you perform every day. As you prove to yourself that you can do them, you will start to build trust in yourself.
• Understanding your why precedes trust, not trust preceding your why.
• Deb shares the story of how she trusted her gut in college and led the University of Florida golf team to a National Championship.
• Deb believes that because she trusts herself, she is able to be more curious about the world around her in a safe and growth-oriented manner.
• The greatest motivation and purpose is when we take the best of ourselves and we bring it to the world.
• If you have the power to positively influence just one other person in the world, that's a great purpose.

1. Practice doing the mundane to build trust in yourself.
2. Evaluate your purpose in life – is it self-fulfilling or is it about giving back to the world?
3. Consider how you can meld your purpose in your professional life and your purpose in your personal life.

• Trust: Understanding my Why by Deb Richard
• Small Changes Big Shifts

Chelsea Laub is an Enneagram Coach with a passion for empowering people to see the possibility in their lives.

Using the Enneagram, she works with individuals, couples, and teams to discover what's working and what's not by bringing awareness of self and others.

An expert in self-awareness, leadership, education, marketing, and connection, Chelsea will keep you engaged and excited about what is possible, while giving you practical and useful tips that you can start using today.

Chelsea serves as the Treasurer for the Big Shifts Foundation, where she is dedicated to making generational lifestyle changes by providing young people with safe places and resources to enable their whole health.

Chelsea is a community contributor, a mom, a wife, a friend, and she believes wholeheartedly in whole-person health

• "The first thing I think is when we draw awareness to ourselves and to our patterns, it makes us more aware of how we're parenting our kids as well."
• "Learning about all the different personality types I've grown this compassion and this understanding that I just didn't have access to before, this level of empathy."
• "When we're born, we're born with this core motivation, which is our Enneagram type, our personality style. And as we're growing, we try out different strategies to satisfy that core motivation, and those become our behaviors."

The Enneagram can help you cultivate compassion by helping you understand the behavioral motivations of yourself and those around you.

• The enneagram is a personality assessment that tells you why you do what you do.
• It helps you draw awareness to yourself and to your patterns. It makes you more aware of how you're parenting your kids as well.
• Chelsea gives a few examples of how the enneagram has helped her and her husband better understand their children.
• In the enneagram there are three different levels of energy that you can fall under.
• Chelsea started out as a financial advisor until her husband went through some mental health challenges and she discovered the enneagram.
• The enneagram has been a game-changer for Chelsea and taught her how to have more compassion for the people around her.
• One example Chelsea shares is how the enneagram helped one of her clients learn how to set more boundaries for herself.
• There are nine different personality types with the enneagram.
• Your core motivation is different based on which of those types you are, and your path to growth is different depending on what your type is.
• The enneagram also provides you guidance on how to access your growth zone.

1. Consider taking the enneagram and working with an enneagram coach to learn more about yourself and how you interact with others.

• Mindset by Carol Dweck
• What Happened to You by Oprah
• The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut
• The Road back to You by Ian Morgan Cron
• Chelsea Laub
• The Big Shifts Foundation

Dr. Barahona is a family coach, author, and the host of the Simple Families Podcast.

Her work has been featured on Netflix, Real Simple Magazine, The Today Show, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and many more.

For the past 15 years, she's had the experience of partnering with parents in search of a more harmonious life with kids.

Her doctorate is in Child Development with a research focus on family wellness.

She also holds a bachelor's and master's degree in Clinical Social Work with a focus on child and family practice.

Dr. Barahona is also a parent in the trenches with two young children herself.

During the second part of the show, Dr. Robin talks to Caitlin White, who is the Behavioral Specialists for Youth at the YMCA in Kansas City. She shares why they are helping kids regulate their bigger emotions in groups with peers. She also shares the ways kids are struggling to readapt being in big groups again, and some tips that can help kids feel more grounded in their daily routine.

• "As the parent in the home, I am the thermostat. I'm setting the temperature for the people around me."
• "This idea of minimalism can feel very finite. It can feel very predetermined. Like, you get to this point and you're a minimalist. Most people would walk into my home and be shocked to find out that we're minimalist because it looks just like everybody else's home."
• "When our amygdala is overreacting and our thinking brain isn't functioning, well, then we're not saying the things we want to be saying. We're not staying as calm as we want to be staying. So, I think that as parents, when we ourselves are taking care of ourselves and we can maintain our own calm, we can be more intentional in the interactions that we have with our kids."
• "So, I think that it's really the heartbeat of our existence, being connected to other humans. And in many ways, when it comes to kids, it is the biggest influence on their behavior."
• "We see some kids struggling with big emotional reactions, even to smaller things that weren't previously a big deal such as parents dropping off, siblings being split out of groups, or things not going their way."
• "A kid's routine should always include some downtime, even if that's sitting with them at the end of the day and reflecting on things."

Tips and tricks for parents to find mental clarity.

Why the YMCA is the biggest childcare centers in Kansas City

What S.M.A.R.T. Connections is at the YMCA and how it helps parents and kids together

• Denaye earned a doctorate in child development but in her twenties realized how little she knew about the growing up process.
• Her goal is to teach parents more about this process so they can build empathy and patience with their children.
• Denaye started the Simple Families podcast five years ago to help pursue that goal.
• The mental load that Denaye talks about is made up of expectations from her childhood and things she saw modeled in society and other families.
• Most people think the mental load is all about the tasks they need to accomplish, but it also includes their fears and worries.
• The first step to reduce the mental load is to do a brain dump for an hour of everything you're thinking about.
• The next step is to categorize those ideas into execution, planning, and worry piles.
• A lot of people are amazed when most of the ideas end up in the worry pile.
• There are certain people out there that have a higher tolerance for clutter, and these are people who have baseline lower levels of anxiety and aren't quite as bothered by their environment and their surroundings.
• On the other hand, some people are more bothered by clutter and can't tolerate it as much.
• Denaye uses a red, yellow, green, and blue chart where you name your zone based on a color. The color you choose relates to how able you are to tolerate clutter.
• When you are a parent, you set the tone for your family. That's why it's so important to know your zone and be able to manage it.
• A clear mindset helps parents because they can use their thinking brain to react and remain calm with their children.
• Denaye shares the example of how her family uses a visual calendar to set the schedule for the day with her kids.
• She says now her children draw their own visual calendars when they have days off from school.
• In terms of connection, Denaye believes that the less connected you are to someone the more negative feelings that will arise. Whereas, if you are more connected the opposite is true.
• Regulating your emotions is a new way to help those struggling with mental health, which has been found to help you stay true to yourself.
• Why routines and rituals help create connection because this avoids anxiety and stress in our lives.

1. Practice a brain dump for yourself. Spend one hour writing down every thought that's in your head.
2. Categorize those ideas into the three different piles: execution, planning, and worry.
3. Consider how you can let go of some of the worries you're holding on to so you can gain mental clarity.

• Denaye Barahona
• The Simple Families Podcast
• Johann Harri
• Kansas City YMCA
• Kansas City YMCA Facebook