When I am unhappy with my job, I do a number of things. I, we'll, call my best friend and I will just event to her and I will just unload the frustrations. And she always listens and makes me laugh. So I turned to a friend or I go to the gym and I just get on my exercise bike and I bike and I bike and I bike until those frustrations are just like sweat out on the floor or I go for run where I just run it out.

I do like to hike. And I mentioned before that I live in a place where there's mountains all around. So sometimes I will just leave and go on a hike and just surround myself with the beauty of nature so that I can, like, kind of re center myself and want myself go. But I feel also like being a mom is kind of like a job. And so when I'm feeling frustrated with my kids or like stuff going on at home, lot of times I will go into my room and I'm not even kidding.

This is something my dad told me to do. I will go in my room and I will grab a pillow and I will just scream into that pillow. It sounds so stupid that I will scream and scream and scream until I can't scream anymore. And then you'd be surprised. It actually makes you feel a lot better, and it really helps get frustration out so that I don't take it out of my kids and it helps me like I feel like I just I got it out scream therapy.

I don't know if that's really a thing, but anyway, you guys might be like that's a weird American, but that's what I do. So I exercise that out, you know, I run, I sweat, I e burn it out. I talked to my best friend, and I talk it out, and I then tonight let all my frustrations go out verbally. And then sometimes when I'm with my kids and I can't leave, you know I have little kids at home. I can't always just leave. When I'm frustrated, I'll set them on the couch and I'll say, mommy loves you, but I have to go in my room and I'll be right back on.

I close the door and I grab a pillow and I just scream and get my frustration and my aggression out that way.

Why do I think there are so many people with depression? That question is a tricky one. I feel like a lot of people have depression because they're not being true and to who they are. And they aren't practicing self care. And they're not letting themselves feel all the different emotions that we feel as people, you know. Sometimes I think moms and dads beat themselves up if they feel overwhelmed and stressed with being a parent because they think that makes him a bad parent.

Or, you know, someone's feeling frustrated at work and instead of just letting that frustration wash over them and letting their bodies feel it and then moving on, they beat themselves up or tell themselves they're weak for feeling frustrated. And I think when you lock your emotions down like that and you don't let your body process them and you don't let your mind and your soul and your body feel that it's normal to have those emotions and to feel them and then tow, let them go. But if you just like smother them and then beat yourself up for feeling them, I think that causes them to just turn internally and depression gets so much worse.

As someone who has suffered from depression, I got postpartum depression with my last child, and it was really bad, and I was embarrassed to get help. And I think that there's a stigma on mental health that shouldn't be there, that if you are struggling with emotions, are struggling with depression or struggling with mental health. That, your broken or there's something wrong with you. And I think that needs to go away because I think that makes it worse.

Another thing is that I don't think people really recognize the benefits of proper nutrition and physical exercise and leading a healthy lifestyle. When you are taking care of your body physically, it really does help your mental clarity and your mental health, you know. Exercise releases endorphins. It's a proven scientific fact, and not very many people recognize that that is a necessity for your body and healthy nutrition and get health with correlation to your brain. There's lots of proven science about how healthy nutrition can help healthy brain function. So, I think a lot of people need...I think, a lot of mental illness is diet, exercise lifestyle. But it's also not recognizing and embracing your emotions.

Unfortunately, there are quite a few situations that make me stressed. I'm kind of a high strong person, which means to me, anyway, that I wear my emotions pretty much out in the open. I don't really hide how I'm feeling. So, when you feel everything, it's easy to get stressed. Things that really set me off and really stressed me out are like really big crowds. I don't enjoy being in a small space with lots of people around. I don't like the loud noise of just constant sound. In my house, the TV and the radios, you know, they have to be turned down. I don't like a loud volume. I don't like overstimulation of senses. I don't find that comforting. That really stresses me out.

Other things that stressed me out on a more emotional level, our financial stress. I hate, hate, hate when money is tight, or if my budget isn't balanced at the end of the month, I can't stand that. It's very stressful for me. I also don't like, oh my gosh, I just had in my head. I can't think of it.

When my kids were fighting that stresses me out like crazy. One of the funniest things that my friends think is hilarious. That stresses male is buying a car. I cannot stand buying a car. It is one of the most stressful things that I have to do as an adult, and I hate it and car repairs if my car breaks down, if I have to take it to an auto shop or to a mechanic to find out what's wrong with it and to get it fixed and to get it back, that just overwhelms me.

I can't stand it. So I usually make my husband deal with that kind of stuff because I hate it. I hate car repairs. I hate, being in debt. I hate when my budget isn't balanced and I get overwhelmed really easy in large crowds with lots of sound and lots of commotion and things like that going on. So those are probably my main stressors that I can think off the top of my head. But yeah, that's usually what stresses me out.

Am I happy with my current job? Overall, I would say yes, I am. I actually have two jobs outside of being a wife and mom. I am a crossing guard, which means at the elementary school I have a stop sign where I go out and stop the oncoming traffic, so the elementary school children can cross the street to and from school. And I really enjoy that job because I love kids and I love to talk to the kids in the morning and try to be a happy face for them to help them start their day on a good note.

And I love at the end of school when the kids show me the things that they've made or tell me what's going on in their lives, and I feel like I have a relationship with the kids. They go to school with my kids and I like that because growing up I had a relationship with a lot of people in my like a friendship with a lot of parents in my town and coming from a home of single dad who raised me. It was really important for me to have the connections I did with other kid's moms.

And so I like to be a positive person for those kids when they're coming to and from school. So that's my one job, and I love it. My second job, I actually just got home from tonight, and it's a home health care worker where I care for an elderly lady who has Alzheimer's disease and has been quite sick for a while. And I really find that job rewarding. It's hard sometimes, but the joy I get from taking care of someone else is really satisfying to me.

It's kind of interesting, because tonight she's not doing so well. She was diagnosed with coronavirus three days ago, and she was doing well with it. But she has since, taking a turn for the worst, and we're not really sure how things will pan out. So it's been a little hard to watch her suffer right now, but it's still hasn't made it to where I don't like my job. I don't like the circumstances going on in my job at the moment, but I love my job. Overall.

I really love being the hands of service and helping somebody else who is really incapable of doing simple things and helping themselves and being a friend and a person someone else can rely on in that situation.

The most important things for me to be happy include my family, my three daughters and my husband, as well as my extended family, like my parents and my cousins and my siblings on my grandparent's. But even more so than that, spending time with those people, seeing those people's successes, communicating with those people and having that kind of support in my life is really important for my mental health. But even more so for me, my mental health really is at its peak when I have my own life outside of motherhood. It can be really easy to get caught up in raising kids and being a mom, and it could be really easy for that to take over someone's identity. So I think it's really important for all parents to have hobbies and have things that they love to do outside of parenting. If you like acting, do community theater. If you like music, keep playing your instruments, if you like projects do projects. And for me, that is my sanctuary, I guess, is building things and projects I love to keep my hands busy.

If my hands are busy then my mind is busy and I can continue to build and create and have an outlet from the stresses of everyday life and being a mom. So I think the things that make me happy are my family, my beautiful girls, my husband. You know, my parents, my siblings, but more so my independence. Like, I can think of the word in partnership with my relationship with my family. So having a good balance between being independent and having hobbies and things like that with being a family person and being committed to children and husband is really what makes me happy and helps me to stay happy and continue to grow.

What is the right time to get married? My opinion is that the right time is different for everyone. But, you know, it's the right time when you found someone that you are excited to spend the rest of your life with. If you're my daughter, it's never the right time unless you're over 27 maybe close to 30 and everything is squared away for you financially and you have a good job and you're all taken care of, then maybe you can consider getting married. But for anybody else I would say when you have found someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, that you know, loves you and you love them and that you would give everything for their happiness.

And you know that they would give everything for your happiness. When you're willing to make sacrifices and willing to dedicate your life to helping or being a partner with someone for the rest of your life, and that's hard a day young age. Many people get married really young. I don't know, but I would imagine that the average time that people get married is 25 - 26. I personally got married when I was 27. I feel like that was the right time for me because I knew who I was and I knew what was important for me in my life.

And I had found someone that I was willing to make sacrifices and willing to give my all to build a life together. And I chose wisely, and so I don't think anybody can tell you exactly when the right time is, but you can know for yourself, but I think those three things knowing who you are,, knowing what you want and finding someone that you're willing to sacrifice to make and build a life with.

How did you propose to your wife? I have a friend who lives up in Springville. And they had horses, they have horses. And, I thought it would be neat to go on a little horseback ride with Mary and my friend and his girlfriend. And we went up into the hills, up above his house, a Springville canyon, and we were riding along. I had packed some breakfast because we left early in the morning and we got to a certain point and my friends, like, "Oh, who is there? who is there?" Someone saw his house and he said, I wanna go check that out.

And he and his date rode off real fast. And Mary's like, "What's that all about?" I got off the horse and kind of walked over to the edge, looking over this valley and so Mary got ... I help Marry down. We sat down and said, "oh, maybe we should just have some, you know, I packed some breakfast here you want you want some breakfast" and I gave her paper bag breakfast and she opened it up and she looked inside and she's like, Oh my, what is this?

And she pulled out a ring box and she opened up the ring box. And inside was one of my grandma's old bobbles, which is just fake jewelry, fake ring, was this big blob of green in a fake gold band and sheep held it up, and she's like, Oh, that's so funny. You scared me. And she laughed it off. And then I opened up my bag and I pulled out the real ring and opened it and asked her to marry me. So she said yes and we're happily married.

And that was, that was beginning. Well, I guess it wasn't the beginning, but it was the solidification of the beginning.

What are your favorite things to do with your wife? And why do you like to do those things? Because I think the world of my wife. I love doing everything with her. But to be more specific, I like working on projects with Mary. She has another perspective, and it helps me see things from different angles. And I feel like we communicate well and work together on projects. And we draw off of each other's strengths and help fill in each other's weaknesses to get projects done, whether it be hanging up Christmas lights or painting a room or gardening or helping kids with science projects or building on something for someone.

Mary is...makes projects a lot funner. Experiences I had, I went to Vietnam with Mary and part of that experience we did service for an orphanage, and we were rebuilding toilets and showers and repaving cement and all kinds of projects. And everyone loved hanging out with Mary because she made it fun. And I think I love that about her. You know, she makes projects fun, and I went in to one of these bathrooms that they were redoing and Mary and this other girl we're just singing at the top of their lungs some fun songs. And everyone was just enjoying it. The guys, too. They were like "yes, sing some more". She does have a beautiful voice and she makes projects fun and interesting. And that's another reason to admire Mary.

How would you describe the personality of your wife? My wife, I would describe her personality is happy, genuine, loyal, kind. But those words don't express how amazing this personality is. Mary, my wife, is someone that you want to be your best friend. She catches you or her personality catches your attention in the first moments that you meet her. You fall in love with her. I don't care who you are. When you really get to know Mary, you are just attracted to her personality.

Who she really is and you just want You just want more to be around her more. And she's so funny. She's so happy and she makes you feel good and, she can sympathize with you when you're sad and she's very empathetic and carrying. She's determined, she's determined to make things better. She's determined to improve herself. Help those around her. She is very service minded. She I would do anything for anyone to help them. And she loves people.

She genuinely loves people. And she eyes very fair. She has a gift of being able to see both sides off a situation both perspectives of someone of two different arguments or situations and she can validate all people. And I think that comes with her genuine love for people. She loves people. She loves socializing with people. She is a gift in my life, and I feel honored to know Mary and know her personality.