Smutclub 1990

We’re cracking the seal on a new magazine once again! Our parents’ house is been transported South of the border, down Adelaide way as we make our yearly pilgrimage to the land of the broad A vowel and financial ruin. We respond to some listener’s messages, give a sneak preview of some content to come, and generally just have a chat about life admin. Big stack of fun guests coming soon - enjoy x

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It’s time to get real horny with some real photos from real women this week, as we check out the Home Girls section of this filthy little magazine. We’re joined by local pervert and comedian, Meg Jager, to peruse the kind of girls that will, and this is a quote, “flash for cash”. Spanning across every regional shithole and low-socio urban cesspit this great sunburnt land of ours has to offer, we learn about the ins and outs (pun intended) of several scantily clad sheilas. Stick around to the end for the grand (also pun intended) finale, as we are treated to an odd twist on what is supposed to be body positivity. Real mess this week is, good on ya, thanks for playing x

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We’re back with yet another scientific exposition into the genitalia of Australian fauna, thanks to Furry Affairs’ editor, Derryn Hamster! We learn of the tireless research done by Dr Peggy Rismiller, hailing from Adelaide, who worked out exactly how echidnas do mad roots, and the propensity at which spoonta shoots from their quadruple headed dingalings. We’ve lost the fucking plot and dragged along comedian Marcel Blanch de Wilt for the ride. Get stuck in x

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We’re treated to another gripping yarn this week courtesy of The Picture magazine, which takes place in a diversity conference at the local police station. A real spicy number, this week’s feature certainly has not aged well, and we exercise our right to censor (and censure) rather liberally. In other news, we read out the dating profiles of six eligible spunks who may or may not engage in the oldest profession for monetary gain. A real rough one this episode, please enjoy x

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That’s enough sheilas, let’s tuck into a big ol’ serving of blokes this week! We’re joined by Perth-born grub, bloke-enthusiast and occasional comedian Brett Blake to check out the tockleys on the male readers of The Picture magazine in 1994. There are five absolute studs, hardly any of which we still believe exist within this mortal coil, who have submitted their blood-filled hogs for publication in exchange for $75 AUD. Pitiful stuff, please enjoy x

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It’s another week of tall tales of titillating trysts submitted by the grubby minded readers of The Picture magazine. Riddled with embellishment, the stories in this week’s episode are part of My Funniest Fuck, a recurring feature where readers submit their stories of infidelity, polygamy, and very inappropriate behaviour on school grounds. As always, they’re playing fast and loose with a legal grey area, and we’re absolutely here for it. Heavy use of the word smoo, and a fair bit of fireman related chat. You’ve been warned x

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The boys are back for another week of reader submitted content, pleading their financial hardships to the seldom benevolent and oft audacious Cashman! Joined by Tor Snyder, the progenitor of Cashman’s dulcet gravelly tones, we hear tales of woe consisting of botched choozie implants, overdue phone bills, and a twelve year old girl who can’t throw hands for shit. Crook as always, we’ve barrelled through sans edits on this one. Have at it x

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Our first ever guest returns to the shed for a special treat this week, a double feature from the desk of Derryn Hamster himself. First we learn about two gormless twits in Pommyland who have chosen to fill the first level of their house with a horde of hamsters, before moving onto a weird woman sentenced to death for being a bit of an arsehole. There’s quite a graphic description of a convicted killer’s final moments during their demise inside a lethal gas chamber, not exactly ideal for a bit of solo pillow talk in our opinion, but a cracking read nonetheless. Play on.

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Another week, another filthy article from this horrible little magazine. In the absence of our parental figures, this week we’ve brought in Peter’s homeschool teacher and comedian Emma Zammit. This week, The Picture magazine details to us about how we can acquire a couple of gratis roots at two of Melbourne’s classiest bordellos. They haven’t spared a single detail, from method of transport betwixt the pair of knock-shops, to the extracurricular offerings at said establishments. One hour roots, pinball, a cup of tea, and a bit of chonka chonka chonka. Enjoy.

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This week we bring in the new year with another article diving into a reader’s sordid sexual fantasy. We’re joined by the weird kid with the slingshot from the shittest house on the street, Sam Bowden, as we peruse the weird masturbatory machinations from the mind of a wrestling obsessed reader. We learn of a heavy set wrestler they call the Black Widow, who is absolutely about to decimate her opponents, Jill and Sue, in the ring - no pun intended. One small problem, the reader left himself out of his own fantasy, a very big whoopsy daisy indeed. Enjoy.

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