Smutclub 1990

The boys are back to wrap a bow on the final episode of 2021, as we dive into The Picture magazine’s feature, a two page spread reviewing various marital aids. Join resident nympho, Sonia, as we unpack the features, faults, and follies of five fantastic fucktoys foisted upon us - from the primitive love beads of the East, to an absolutely disgraceful latex sheath (reviewed by one Mr Harrison Hard-On), this episode truly is a horror to listen to. Pretty horny stuff, enjoy.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week the boys go the episode solo without a guest, as we unpack the urine-based creations of artist and sculptor Helen Chadwick. We uncover a new favourite phrase birthed from The Picture magazine, and we play around with some clues and conundrums from this week’s Cheekycross crossword puzzle. Turns out Chuck Berry was a bit of a dirty bugger, and we give Australian comedy a royal makeover with the creation of ‘Baron Carl’. Enjoy x

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s a double feature week over here at Smutclub HQ, and we’re blessed with two tales of absolute nonsense to unpack with our guest, comedian Dane Simpson! Firstly, we learn about Mick, a local genius from Northern NSW, who has invented tiny surfboards with action figurines stuck to them, which is shortly followed by some prick from the Sunshine Coast who makes his workers dress in humiliating attire under threat of immediate retrenchment. Wild stuff as always, get stuck in x

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we get meta, as The Picture magazine’s own pornographic afficianado, Harry Hard-On takes us through his own personal favourite skin flicks. We’re joined by comedian Angus Gordon to take turns reading through some absolute filth, which ranges from the aggressively smutty, to outrageously kooky, and straight back into pure deranged and unhinged lunacy. We discover a racial slur that has gone to print, and then discuss a film wherein a man copulates with a rubber duck. Truly a horrifying and awful feature this week.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re getting stuck into another bullshit article this week, where we learn of two star-crossed lovers, cruelly separated by borders and bureaucracy. Unhinged maniac and Adelaide-based comedian, James Donald Forbes McCann, joins us to unpack the story of Cheryl, a British mother, who has taken fancy to a well-endowed Kenyan warrior and part-time dancer by the name of Daniel. We continue to build our festival lineup with more bizarre phrases, and stumble upon a litany of incredibly politically incorrect turns of phrase. More gold from this horrible little publication.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re hearing again from the distinguished readers of The Picture, as they pose questions to would-be columnist and lover of the occasional lesbian embrace, Jo Guest. Speaking of guests, we are joined in the shed this week by comedian Matt Stewart, who is increasingly uncomfortable as this episode progresses. We continue our hot streak for pornographic magazines discovered in nearby nature, and touch on some very grim content courtesy of some inquisitive and very horny readers.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s the beginning of a new chapter in this podcast, as we unpack both the front and back covers of Issue #316. This edition is also a 1994 model, and already we can see that the editorial staff at The Picture are doubling down on crook content and farcical horseshit. They’ve ducked and weaved an obvious chance at body positivity with a carefully placed birthday cake, and we go down a rabbithole when learn about Chuck Norris’ esteemed right-hand man, karate expert and decorated veteran, Danny Lane.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we unpack another two spurious articles from the depths of The Picture magazine, chronicling the tales of a Northern gentleman with a penchant for cranial balancing feats, and the humble tale of Tyke, a rogue police dog who bit some fella on the gonads. Joined by comedian Luke Heggie, we unpack the grim details and absurd lies of two of the silliest bits of journalism to ever grace the pages of a 1990s wank rag. Turns out there’s a bloke called John from Derbyshire who can balance a compact car on his bonce, and some gun-toting felon across the Tasman with a taste for canine flesh. Pure horseshit, once again.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re fast approaching the business end of this filthy little magazine, the vinegar strokes if you will, and we’re joined by Sydney-based comedian, Bec Charlwood, to pick apart reader-submitted nude photographs. These images hark back to a pre-internet era, when nudes would have to be developed on film, and popped in the mailbox at the local post office with the hope of scoring fifty Australian dollars. These women are as beautiful as their backstories are grim, with a vast majority of the Home Girls financially destitute, save for one very randy (and freshly permed) grandmother. God bless you Vonda x

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re back for another episode of one of the internet’s most niche podcasts, wherein we unpack softcore Australian pornography exhumed from the abode of a soul no longer confined to this mortal coil. Indeed, this week, we are joined by Melbourne-based comic, Luka Muller, to discuss the activities of self-proclaimed bag of randiness, and all-round grog legend and piss artist extraordinaire, Albert Clarke. Sporting astronomical statistics with regards to his formidable bent elbow, Albert apparently lived to 92 years old despite rounding out each day like the apocalypse was nigh. Do we believe a word of this article? Absolutely not, but fuck me dead is it funny. Enjoy x

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.