Most people think the purpose of life is to “find yourself” or “chase your happiness.” That’s why most people are still miserable. In this episode I dig into the hard truth: self-centered living is a scam. Backed by decades of research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development to Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, we’ll unpack why a life that revolves around you is guaranteed to be empty, and why the only path to real fulfillment is living for others.

Sources

• Waldinger, R. & Schulz, M. (2010). The Harvard Study of Adult Development.

• Kasser, T. (2002). The High Price of Materialism. MIT Press.

• Post, S. G. (2005). Altruism, happiness, and health: It’s good to be good. International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 12(2), 66–77.

• Mauss, I. B., et al. (2011). Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? Emotion, 11(4), 807–815.

• Frankl, V. (1959). Man’s Search for Meaning.

Eva is back for this episode, and what starts as lighthearted banter quickly unravels into something deeper. We drift from MySpace nostalgia and high school what-ifs to stories of secret crushes, masking, and the strange ways memory rewrites our past. Along the way we reflect on missed chances, adolescent anxieties, and how the digital spaces we grew up in shaped who we are now. It’s messy, funny, vulnerable, and like high school itself, equal parts cringe and unforgettable.

What would it feel like to live with no secrets? To wake up without rehearsing lies in your head or guarding a version of yourself from the world? Your secrets are not protecting you; they’re draining you. Every secret is weight you carry, energy you waste, and shame you feed. In this episode, I cut through the myth that secrecy keeps you safe and get real about why it actually keeps you stuck.Sources:

• Michael Slepian’s research on secrecy (Columbia University) — studies showing the average person holds 13 secrets at once, and how secrecy weighs on mental energy.

• Journal of Experimental Psychology (2012) — study showing people with secrets literally saw hills as steeper and tasks as harder.

• Sidney Jourard’s work on self-disclosure (1970s) — showing openness builds trust and connection.

• Laurenceau & Barrett (1998) — research proving intimacy grows through vulnerability and responsiveness.

• James Pennebaker’s expressive writing studies — writing down your secrets reduces stress and improves physical health.

The headlines aren’t letting up. From climate disasters and political chaos to the creeping feeling that we’re running out of time.

But giving up isn’t the answer and blind optimism won’t save us either. In this solo episode, I break down Adaptive Hope. The flexible, grounded, and stubborn kind of hope that can actually survive in times like these.

We’ll talk about what Adaptive Hope is, why it works, and five ways you can practice it today with real-world examples you can try this week. Because hope isn’t about pretending things aren’t bad; it’s about finding ways to keep going because they are.

Academic & Research Sources:

• Bender, Darren, and Andrea Rawluk. “Adaptive Hope: A Conceptual Framework for Understanding Hope and Social–Ecological Change.” Ecology and Society, vol. 28, no. 2, 2023. https://ecologyandsociety.org/vol28/iss2/art14/

• Human Flourishing Lab. The Science of Hope: A Review of the Research. 2023. https://humanflourishinglab.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/HFL-The-Science-of-Hope.pdf

• Ojala, Maria. “Hope and Climate Change: The Importance of Hope for Environmental Engagement among Young People.” Frontiers in Communication, vol. 4, 2019. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fcomm.2019.00020/full

• Stanley, Skye K., et al. “Climate Distress and the Role of Social Support in Young Adults.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 14, 2023. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10446227/

• Albrecht, Glenn. “Solastalgia: The Distress Caused by Environmental Change.” Australasian Psychiatry, vol. 15, 2007. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solastalgia

We live in a culture that glamorizes being “always on.”
But behind the hustle, the hyper-productivity, and the constant stimulation is a nervous system in crisis. In this episode, I unpack how we confuse overstimulation with personality and why that confusion is burning us out.
We talk dopamine loops, trauma responses, nervous system basics, and what it means to rediscover yourself beneath the noise.

Episode source material:

• University of California, San Diego. (2020). How much information do we consume?

• Dana, Deb. The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy

• Gabor Maté. The Myth of Normal

• NPR: “How constant dopamine stimulation rewires our brain”

• Psychology Today: “The Addictive Cycle of Doomscrolling”

Eva (@birdlets) steps into Anime Expo for the first time! To them is was a space bursting with color, culture, and some truly questionable wigs. We talk about what it's like to be new to fandom, the weird joy of being surrounded by people who get it, and how it is to finally like the things you were once made to feel weird for. Also: Naruto ships, ethical weeb discourse, and a PSA on cosplay hair care.

We need to talk about the obsession with red flags. It's frustrating how, “healing” became about seeing danger in everything and calling it discernment. But what if the thing you’re calling a red flag… is just fear? Or discomfort? Or your nervous system reminding you of stories from your past?

In this episode I dig into the difference between intuition and hypervigilance, explore how insecure attachment can warp our perception of safety, and break down why some of us run the second we feel anything real. This isn’t about ignoring your gut. It’s about calibrating it. Because healing isn’t about becoming so smart that you never get hurt again, it’s about learning how to stay soft without abandoning yourself.

If you’ve ever found yourself pushing away good people, mislabeling discomfort as danger, or using therapy-speak to justify avoidance...this one's for you.

Episode Notes:

1. Cleveland Clinic: Hypervigilance and Trauma
   Cleveland Clinic Staff. “Hypervigilance.” Cleveland Clinic.
   

2. Attachment Styles and Psychological Well-Being
   Candelori, C., et al. (2023). “Adult Attachment Styles and Psychological Well-Being: A Study of Italian Adults.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(3), 1472.

In this heatwave fueled fever dream of an episode, the conversation goes off the rails almost immediately and never really returns. You can literally here the descent into madness. Blame the non-existent AC or the slow descent into sweat-soaked delirium, but today’s topics range from Big Bang denial and simulation theory to AI bros, tiny prehistoric humans, Arrowhead water red flags, and the possibility that dinosaurs were basically chickens with rage issues.

We talk ancient pyramids, time travel tourism, gentrified fast food, the mystery of why 2018 water hit different, and somehow circle back to the ethics of AI art. It’s pure banter. No thesis, no coherence, just brain melt and the kind of stuff you’d only say when your internal fan is fried. Come sweat it out with us.

What do Roblox, Donkey Kong, and yelling at your friends about Trump have in common? Apparently, everything. In this second part of our discussion with @birdlets we cover digital intimacy, youth activism, and why memes aren’t enough to save us. This episode is chaotic, heartfelt, and exactly what you need to hear when you're caught between hopelessness and action.

It’s July 4th, but don’t expect fireworks. Expect facts. Today we confront the lie at the heart of “American freedom.” From land theft to forced labor, from mass incarceration to queer erasure, this country has rationed liberty based on race, gender, and class. We’re talking real history because love for a place means holding it accountable, not covering it in red, white, and denial.Show Notes:

• Michelle Alexander – The New Jim Crow

• Ava DuVernay – 13th (Netflix)

• Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz – An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States

• Frederick Douglass – “What to the Slave Is the Fourth of July?” (1852)

• Equal Justice Initiative: https://eji.org

• ACLU Legislation Tracker: https://www.aclu.org/legislation-tracker