So Very Wrong About Games

This is not, strictly speaking, the first foray into gaming that Hellboy has done--not even the first in the miniatures genre. There were some Hellboy Heroclix, but let us speak as adults--that's not really saying much. Everyone has been in Heroclix now. 43% of the human population has been represented as a Heroclix figure at some point. Walker has, like, four different versions (albeit two of those are repaints). I hear the "Raging Fury" Walker figure is banned in most tournament play.

Games Played Last Week:
-Just One 1m59s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Productions)
-Lords of Hellas 4m57s (Awam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2018)
-Tammany Hall 7m39s (Doug Eckhart, IDW Games, 2007)
Editorial note: Mark erred in his playing of Tammany Hall (unused favour chips are not worth points). We'll have a full correction next week, and Mark will revisit the game as soon as he can. We apologize for the error.
-Small City 14m37s (Alban Viard, AVStudioGames, 2015)

News (and why it doesn't matter):
-Free Doomrock expansion! 21m55s
-Moar Apocalypse with Last Aurora 23m00s
-Sadler Bros.' Altar Quest 24m00s

Feature Game: Hellboy: The Board Game 24m35s (James M. Hewitt & Sophie Williams, Mantic Games, 2019)

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Heroscape! This show has spent far, far too long talking about things that are not Heroscape. Today we attempt to remedy that deficiency by talking about Heroscape, which is a game--nay, an experience--nay, a lifestyle!--worth discussing. It was a wonderful retail oddity, an overproduced and affordable big box beauty. It is why basements were invented. It isn't the greatest game, but it is definitely Heroscape.

AYURIS: Lords of Hellas 1m54s (Awam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2018)

Games Played Last Week:
-Junk Art 6m31s (Jay Cormier & Sen-Foong Lim, Pretzel Games, 2016)
-Claustrophobia 1643 9m02s (Croc & Laurent Pouchain, Monolith, 2019)
-Pax Renaissance 12m34s (Matt Eklund & Phil Eklund, Sierra Madre, 2016)
-Heroscape 13m32s (Stephen Baker, Rob Daviau, & Craig Van Ness, Hasbro, 2004)
-Scythe 16m37s (Jamey Stegmaier, Stonemaier Games, 2016)
-Newton 18m20s (Simone Luciani & Nestore Mangone, Cranio Creations, 2018)

News (and why it doesn't matter):
-Earth Reborn Reborn? 20m44s
https://www.boardgamegeek.com/article/32180941#32180941
-Too Many Too Many Bones? 22m36s
-Co-op City Building 23m32s
-Karate Tomate! 24m18s
-RTS -> Cardboard in Company of Heroes 26m05s
-Snake? SNAAKE! 27m22s
-Post-Apocalyptic Small Furry Things 29m19s
-Jim Felli's The World Reapers: A Game of Overpowered, World-Eating, Cosmic Frogs 30m05s

Topic: You Need to Take a Little Off the Top, Bud 32m14s

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Do you sometimes feel like having your blind brother hurl spears at you as a party trick? Do you feel the urge to put your hand in a giant wolf's mouth to make your friends feel bad? Do you wish you could ride a chariot pulled by cats for no discernible reason? Do you long to carry on rambling conversations with a severed head? Do you want days of the week to be named after you?
Well, this is your episode!

Games Played Last Week:
-Just One 1m26s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Productions, 2018)
-Lords of Hellas 3m12s (Adam Kwapiński, Awaken Realms, 2018)
-Combat Commander: Europe 5m26s(Chad Jensen, GMT, 2006)
-Barenpark 7m56s (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout Games, 2017)
-Corporate America 8m31s (Teale Fristoe, Nothing Sacred Games, 2013)
-Reykholt 10m09s (Uwe Rosenberg, Frosted Games, 2018)
-Burning Suns 11m05s (Emil Larson, SunTzu Games, 2013)
-51st State: Master Set - Allies 13m32s (Joanna Kijanka & Ignacy Trzewiczek, Portal Games, 2019)
-Tammany Hall 16m12s (Doug Eckhart, IDW Games, 2007)

News (and why it doesn't matter):
-Chad Jensen diagnosed with cancer and is raising funds 21m24s
https://www.gofundme.com/help-chad-with-chemo
-Stack with Tuki 22m16s
-Ready availability of Queenies? 23m16s
-Papillon flies again 24m51s
-Modiphius doubles down on Bethesda 25m31s

Feature Game: Asgard's Chosen 27m14s (Morgan Dontanville, Mayfair Games, 2013)
Solo variant: https://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/1058313/solo-variant-more-tense-gameplay

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Names are powerful. The Spiel des Jahres means "game of the year" simpliciter, but for years we know that the juries have been casting a narrower and narrower net of what games thay would consider. It has become more of a specialized imprint, which is fine--but it's strange that the name still inspires such cachet. Anything with rules in excess of 3 or so pages seems now to be firmly beyond the pale as far as the SdJ is concerned. Ah, well, times change, and we are prone to fits of curmudgeonly behavior. We do at least give our rundown of the 3 nominated games.

AYURIS: The City of Kings 1m02s (Frank West, The City of Games, 2018)

Games Played Last Week:
-Trick Shot 2m35s (Nikita Krylov &Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2019)
-LAMA aka Wrath of the Appliances: Rise of the Killer Kameras 4m50s (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2019)
-Just One 8m01s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Productions, 2018)
-Red Alert: Space Fleet Warfare 10m03s (Richard Borg, PSC Games, 2019)
-Fireball Island: The Curse of Vol-Kar 13m51s (Rob Daviau, JR Honeycutt, Justin D. Jacobson, Chuck Kennedy, & Bruce Lund, Restoration Games, 2018)
-Hansa Teutonica 15m38s (Andreas Steding, Z-Man Games, 2010)
-SpaceCorp 17m03s (John H. Butterfield, GMT Games, 2018)
-Rayguns and Rocketships 19m33s (Scott Rogers, IDW Games, 2017)

News (and why it doesn't matter):
-The tangled webs Kickstarter weaves (and then pulls) 26m23s
(Correction: During this segment we mistakenly conflated Travis Worthington of Indie Boards and Cards and Travis R. Chance of Kolossal Games. They have both had projects canceled by Kickstarter. We apologize for the error.)
-Endeavor: Age of Expansion Expansion 30m30s
-Pandemic Targets real-time 31m51s

Topic: How Big a Collection? 33m00s

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Credibility, like a butterfly, is a fragile and beautiful thing. Mark is fundamentally opposed to subtlety and ephemeral joy, so he naturally seeks to destroy either whenever he encounters it. When it comes to credibility he does this by routinely making gross over-generalizations. This time he has managed to make an instant replay-esque correction, at least. As for what he does to butterflies, let's just say he manages to make garden parties awkward.

Games Played Last Week:
-Bios: Megafauna 2nd Edition 3m08s (Andrew Doull, Phil Eklund, & Jon Manker, Sierra Madre, 2017)
-Brook City 6m37s (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2019)
-Rayguns and Rocketships 12m06s (Scott Rogers, IDW Games, 2017)
-A Game of Thrones: Catan--Brotherhood of the Watch 15m45s (Klaus Teuber & Benjamin Teuber, Fantasy Flight, 2017)

News (and why it doesn't matter)
-Walker expands what he no longer has 22m00s
-Wherefore art thou, journalism? Round 1: Tariffs vs. Gamers 22m31s
(Polygon article: http://bit.ly/polygontariffs)
-Space Invaders 27m16s
-Round 2: Stonemaier vs. Gaming Goat 28m01s
-Papillon rises again? 30m41s

Feature Game: Gentes: Deluxified 31m38s (Stefan Risthaus, Tasty Minstrel, 2018)

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Summer is here, friends and neighbours, and with it comes a a thickening of the blood that prompts torpor. We here at SVWAG are part lizard, you see, and so we must budget additional time to sun ourselves and slough off our scales. At any rate, we will be shifting to a summer schedule but still releasing an episode every week--though the magic of segment-swapping. How can such wizardry be true? The secrets are revealed herein!

AYURIS: Mage Knight 2m10s (Vlaada Chvatil, WizKids, 2011)

Games Played Last Week:
-Imperius 5m36s (Grant Rodiek, Kolossal Games, 2018)
-Bärenpark 7m18s (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout, 2017)
-Burning Suns 10m05s (Emil Larson, SunTzuGames, 2013)
-Downfall 13m11s (John D. Clair, Tasty Minstrel, 2019)
-Adrenaline: Team Play DLC 15m41s (Filip Neduk, Czech Games Edition, 2018)
-Pandemic: Fall of Rome 17m39s (Matt Leacock & Paolo Mori, Z-Man, 2018)
-Space Cadets: Dice Duel 19m25s (Geoff Engelstein and Sydney Engelstein, Stronghold, 2013)
-Gentes: Deluxified Edition 21m14s (Stefan Risthaus, Tasty Minstrel, 2018)
-Roll for the Galaxy 24m53s (Wei-Hwa Huang & Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande, 2014)
-Brook City 26m54s (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2019)

News (and why it doesn't matter)
-Trick Shot on Kickstarter 31m16s
-No dice for BloodBorne 32m36s
-Pax Renaissance goes deluxe but not -ified 33m08s
-Die Macher improves its graphics 34m18s
-Cleopatra, comin' at ya (Clone High fans? Anyone?) 36m00s
-Scythe goes modular, jumps shark? 37m03s

Topic: Good Games that Induce Pain 38m07s

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We humble ourselves before you, O merciful audience, so as to lay bare our sins against the gaming world. Granted we toil as rules explainers on the behalf of ungrateful vermin who do not appreciate our labours, but nonetheless we take full responsibility for mildly inconveniencing the filthy ingrates who can't be bothered to read a rulebook. We implore that these monstrously selfish demons might find it in their paltry hearts and feeble minds to grant us a little mercy. We sincerely apologize to these subhuman monsters, we truly do.

AYURIS: Feudum 3m20s (Mark K. Swanson, Odd Bird Games, 2017)

Games Played Last Week:
-The Boldest 4m38s (Sophia Wagner, Pegasus Spiele, 2019)
-Wingspan 6m36s (Elizabeth Hargrave, Stonemaier Games, 2019)
-Council of 4 9m00s (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, Cranio Creations, 2015)
-Root 11m42s (Cole Wehrle, Leder Games, 2018)
-Imperius 12m20s (Grant Rodiek, Kolossal Games, 2018)
-Siege of the Citadel 15m23s (Richard Borg, Eric M. Lang, Jason Little, & Kevin Wilson, Modiphius, 2019)

News (and why it doesn't matter)
-51st State expands with Allies 18m00s
-Mark is not a lawyer on the Great Western Trail 19m14s
-In space, no one can hear you roleplay 21m59s
-Warhammer Underworlds goes digital 22m32s
-Terraforming Kickstarter 23m27s
-Kolossal Kickstarter takedown 24m15s

Feature Game: Warpgate 26m52s (Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2018)

Topic: Biggest Rules Mistakes 53m10s

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"Money makes the world go 'round" is a common saying decried by most astronomers and physicists, who instead stubbornly maintain that it is due to some invisible thing that can't even qualify for a credit card. "More money than God" is also a strange phrasing, insofar as I believe the theological consensus (ranging from the Abrahamic faiths all the way to Pastafarianism) is that God does not hold assets in the standard sense. Then again, I've never seen His portfolio. Anyway, Cthulhu Wars is expensive and so are exciting plans.

AYURIS: Quartermaster General 2m35s (Ian Brody, Griggling Games, 2014)

Games Played Last Week:
-Walker has a family 4m24s
-Res Arcana 5m27s (Thomas Lehmann, Sand Castle Games, 2019)
-The Boldest 7m19s (Sophia Wagner, Pegasus Spiele, 2019)
-Snit's Revenge 10m51s (Tom Wham, TSR, 1977)
-Hanabi 12m39s (Antoine Bauza, R&R, 2010)
-FlickFleet 13m18s (Jackson Pope & Paul Willcox, Eurydice Games, 2018)
-Magnastorm 15m42s (Bauldric & Friends, Feuerland Spiele, 2018)

News (and why it doesn't matter)
-CMON licenses God of War... 18m48s
-...and Bloodborne 19m07s
-More pretty things from Ryan Laukat 20m20s
-Marco Polo voyages again 21m04s
-Warhammer Underworlds (Shadespire, really) lives on 21m58s

Feature Game: Cthulhu Wars 22m31s (Sandy Peterson & Lincoln Petersen, Petersen Games, 2015)

Topic: Dueling Rules: The "Right" Way to Play 51m30s
Loopin' Louie tournament rules: http://bit.ly/loopingtournament

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We spare you the onomatopoeias this week, as our audio editing software cannot process the brightly-coloured spiky expostulations properly. Walker gets to backpedal at full speed this week, having previously declared his being done with both 1 vs. all games and games with tons of minis. So he surely wouldn't have any enthusiasm for this 1 vs. all minis-heavy game, would he? Could he?!

Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
PLASTIC

AYURIS: GKR: Heavy Hitters 1m25s (Matt Hyra, Cryptozoic Entertainment, 2018)

Games Played Last Week:
-Res Arcana 3m08s (Thomas Lehmann, Sand Castle Games, 2019)
-Warhammer Quest: Blackstone Fortress 6m56s (Jervis Johnson, Games Workshop, 2018)
-Warpgate 9m38s (Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2018)
-Titans Tactics 12m37s (G. Kelly Toyama, Imbalanced Games, 2013)
-Pax Renaissance 14m21s (Phil Eklund & Matt Eklund, Sierra Madre Games, 2016)
-For Sale 18m34s (Stefan Dorra, Uberplay, 1997)

News (and why it doesn't matter)
-Mensa? Do we care about Mensa? 19m26s
-Renegade charms again with Bubble Tea 21m40s
-Mega Vampires and Mega Werewolves 22m13s
-More tile-laying from Reiner Knizia 23m19s

Feature Game: Batman: Gotham City Chronicles 24m06s (Frédéric Henry, Monolith, 2019)

Topic: Changing Tastes Over Time 53m17s

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Here's the thing, at least as Mark understands it: acquired tastes are weird. Some things are great the first time. Furthermore, some things are easy and great the first time. Take chocolate, for example. Most people start out champs at eating chocolate. Mark tried to get good at something once, but he found out that requires effort. Who has time for ten thousand hours when there's elite-level candy consumption to be had? Walker on the other hand laments Mark's narrow little horizons.

AYURIS: Space Alert 2m59s (Vlaada Chvatil, CGE, 2008)

Games Played Last Week:
-Warpgate 4m22s (Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2018)
-Caverna: The Cave Farmers 6m38s (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2013)
-Codenames 8m10s (Vlaada Chvatil, CGE, 2015)
-KeyForge: Call of the Archons 9m29s (Richard Garfield, Fantasy Flight, 2018)
-Intrigue 10m06s (Stefan Dorra, AMIGO, 1994)
-Combat Commander: Europe 14m13s (Chad Jensen, GMT, 2006)
-Aristeia! 16m39s (Alberto Abal, Jesús Fuster, & David Rosillo, Corvus Belli, 2017)
-Pax Renaissance 19m01s (Phil Eklund & Matt Eklund, Sierra Madre Games, 2016)

News (and why it doesn't matter)
-Spread the Love Letter, spread the pain 21m59s
-In Defiance of the glut of dungeon crawlers 22m58s
-Conflick in the Neutral Zone, again 25m35s
-Scramble for outrage in wargamer land 26m37s

Feature Game: Catacombs 3rd ed. 28m44 (Ryan Amos, Marc Kelsey, & Aron West, Elzra Corp., 2015)

Topic: Mastering a Game 49m35s

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