Leaving Alcoholics Anonymous can feel like walking away from your entire world — relationships, identity, purpose, safety, community, and structure. That’s why so many of us feel stuck in grief, even after we’ve left.

In Part 6 of the Grieving AA series, I’m sharing a powerful tool from the Grief Recovery Method — the Completion Letter. This is not about excusing harm or betraying yourself. It’s about ending the loop of overthinking, guilt, shame, and anger… and reclaiming your freedom.

Inside, you’ll learn:

• ✨ The 5 parts of the Goodbye Letter (and why they matter)
• ✨ How to speak your truth without judgment or guilt
• ✨ A ritual option to fully release AA and close that chapter of your life

Whether you write the letter, speak it aloud, or burn it in a ceremony, this process can help you cut the energetic tie, close the grief, and move forward without the weight of AA still on your shoulders.

Timestamps:

00:00 Grief Recovery Method completion letter intro

08:14 Writing the letter

09:02 The apologies

12:11 The forgiveness

13:11 Significant emotional truths

15:38 The Closure

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Acceptance after leaving Alcoholics Anonymous isn’t about forgiving abuse or sugarcoating the harm — it’s about choosing yourself and stepping into freedom.

In this episode of the Sobriety Bestie Podcast, I share what “acceptance” really means in the grieving process — without surrendering to AA’s powerlessness narrative. We’ll unpack:

• Why acceptance is not the same as condoning
• Breaking free from the “AA saved my life” myth
• How to reclaim your power and stability outside the rooms
• Journaling prompts to deepen your own acceptance and freedom

If AA was part of your life and leaving brought up grief, doubt, or relief, this is your space to get clarity and move forward on your terms.

📝 Journaling Prompts in this Episode:

• What truth can you see now that you couldn’t before?
• What no longer has a hold on you?
• What parts of AA do you no longer need?
• What beliefs are you choosing now?
• What does freedom look like for you today?
• What support system are you building?

Timestamps:

00:00 Acceptance after AA

05:00 Journaling prompts

13:32 Finding purpose after AA

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What if you never feel okay again after leaving AA? For many of us, there’s a crash after the anger fades — the loss of community, identity, and structure can feel like a dark night of the soul. It’s not failure — it’s grief.

In this episode of the Grieving AA series, we talk about the depression stage, why it happens, and how to navigate the “after-recovery void” between who you were in AA and who you’re becoming now. You’ll also get journaling prompts to help you move through this phase.

📝 Journaling Prompts in this Episode:

• What feels heavy right now? Can you name it without fixing it?
• What parts of yourself or life feel missing?
• Have you felt this kind of fog before? What helped then?
• What did AA give you that you’re afraid you’ll never find again?
• What does your body need right now — rest, comfort, permission to not be okay?
• What would it look like to meet yourself with compassion right now?

Timestamps:

00:00 Depression after leaving AA intro

08:04 Journal prompts

09:12 Dark night of the soul

14:46 This too shall pass

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Bargaining is a normal stage of grief — but when you’ve left AA, it can keep you stuck.

Maybe you’ve told yourself, “It wasn’t that bad,” “I can just take the good and leave the rest,” or “Maybe I was the problem.”

In this episode, I break down how AA culture trains us to bargain with harm, avoid the full truth, and even spiritualize abuse. I share real examples from my 10 years in AA, how I recognized my own bargaining, and how you can start unpacking it.

📌 Inside this video:

• What bargaining looks like after leaving AA
• How “take the good, leave the rest” keeps the programming alive
• Spiritual bypassing and blame-shifting
• Real-life examples from my time in AA
• Journaling prompts to help you unpack it

📝 Journaling Prompts:

• What part of you still wants to believe AA wasn’t that bad?
• What are you afraid might happen if you admit the harm?
• Have you told yourself you can “just take the good” even when you know the harm runs deeper?
• What would it mean to fully face the truth about AA for you?
• In what ways have you internalized the blame for what happened in AA?
• Have you avoided unpacking your experience because you feel you “should be over it”?
• What spiritual lessons (if any) are you using to justify your pain or your AA experience?
• What do you gain by holding on to parts of AA — and what might it be costing you?

Timestamps:

00:00 Doubting your decision to leave AA intro

07:17 Journaling prompts

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Let’s get f*cking free.

Are you still angry about what happened in AA — or that you were even there?

You're not alone. This episode dives into the second stage of grief after leaving Alcoholics Anonymous: anger.

I was stalked in AA. I was gaslit, misdiagnosed, manipulated — and told that feeling angry meant I was the problem. If anything like this sounds familiar, this one's for you.

Inside this episode:

• 🔥 Why anger is a valid, protective response
• 💔 What you're really grieving when you leave AA
• 🧠 How AA pathologizes normal human emotions
• 👀 The real meaning behind being called "resentful" or a "dry drunk"
• ✍️ Guided journaling prompts to help you process and heal

📝 Journaling Prompts in this Episode:

• What am I angry about, even if I feel like I shouldn’t be?
• Who or what do I feel betrayed by and why?
• When I get angry about AA, if I do, what do I hear in my head that tries to silence me?
• How might my anger be trying to protect me?
• What might I say to a loved one who was angry in a similar situation?
• What happens in my body when I let myself feel anger without making it wrong?

Timestamps:

00:00 Grieving AA: Anger intro

5:44 AA pathologized anger

12:08 Angry at an AA member

17:02 Journaling prompts

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Let’s get f*cking free.

Welcome to the Grieving AA series — a 6-part journey to untangle from Alcoholics Anonymous and reclaim your emotional freedom.

In this first episode, we unpack denial. What if the group that “saved your life”… was actually harming your mind? What if the thing you thought was spiritual… was a religious cult in disguise?

We’ll explore:

• 🧠 Cognitive dissonance (AA helped me / AA harmed me)
• 🧪 How gaslighting and indoctrination distort your self-trust
• 💔 Why denial makes sense after coercive control
• ✍️ Plus journaling prompts to help you pop out of the fog

Timestamps:

00:00 Grieving AA Denial Intro

05:40 What denial may look like

10:05 Journaling prompts

📝 Journaling Prompts in this Episode:

• What parts of AA still feel helpful or comforting to you, and why?
• Why do you feel loyal to AA if you do, and what does loyalty mean to you?
• Have you ever downplayed your pain or made excuses for what happened in AA?
• If what you experienced happened to a loved one, what would you tell them about it?
• What are you afraid might happen if you fully let yourself question AA?
• What would it mean to trust yourself even just a little bit more right now?

🪩 Get fee tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚

👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge click here.

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Let’s get f*cking free.

Mark, a former AA member, professional therapist, and addiction counselor, shares why he left Alcoholics Anonymous after four years and what happened next.

We talk about the uncomfortable truths inside the rooms, what it was like to be sober and rebellious, and how AA fed his ego instead of helping him heal.

Mark shares what it was like working in a rehab while quietly deprogramming from 12-step ideology — and why real healing required trusting himself, not a dogma.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:12 Why Did You Leave AA?

09:00 "AA Fed My Ego"

10:46 AA While Working At A Bali Rehab

13:34 Addiction Therapist Advice on AA

14:54 How AA Reacted To Him Leaving

17:58 Still sober?

21:05 What Deprogramming Was Like

23:57 Feeling Betrayed in AA

30:00 If You Left AA But Still Are "In Recovery"

32:36 Find Out Why You Drank

36:09 Learning To Trust Yourself Again

39:48 He Always Knew He'd Leave AA

45:13 A Big Thing To Work On

Mark's website

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Join our free deprogramming AA Community and get free resources in the 🔓 AA Escape Kit

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Let’s get f*cking free.

What if it’s not the booze — but the belief system?

In this episode of the Sobriety Bestie Podcast, we dive into Alan Marlatt’s 1973 expectancy experiment, featured in Resisting 12-Step Coercion by Stanton Peele.

This study throws a major wrench in AA’s core claim: the “physical allergy” to alcohol.

🔬 Study findings?

👉 People who thought they were drinking alcohol behaved more "drunk" — even when they weren’t.

👉 Those who were drinking but didn’t know it? No typical "alcoholic" behavior.

So… is it the alcohol or the expectation? Does AA’s ideology create a self-fulfilling prophecy that makes drinking worse?

📍 We’ll break down the study, bust the allergy myth, and explore how belief — not booze — might be the real trigger.

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Let’s get f*cking free.

You were told to leave AA is to drink — and to drink is to die. But what if the data says otherwise?

In this episode of the Sobriety Bestie Podcast, I break down one of the most important studies you’ve probably never heard of — the 1992 NLAES study conducted by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

This massive, government-funded study followed thousands of people who met the criteria for alcohol dependence... and most of them got better without AA or treatment.

This episode dives into:

• 🧠 The myth of powerlessness
• 📉 What actual recovery stats show
• 🚫 The “real alcoholic” label as loaded language
• 📚 Highlights from Resisting 12-Step Coercion

🪩 Get fee tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚

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Let’s get f*cking free.

This is not just one woman’s story. It’s a window into what’s been allowed to happen behind closed doors in Alcoholics Anonymous.

At 15 years old, Mandi was sent to AA as a “troubled teen.” What followed was not recovery — it was manipulation, coercion, grooming, and systemic cover-up.

In this conversation, Mandi details how a so-called spiritual leader in the Midtown AA group in Washington, D.C. used his power to exploit underage girls — and how the group protected him.

This conversation exposes the underbelly of AA culture: the “13th stepping,” the spiritual gaslighting, the silence around sexual abuse, and the refusal to evolve.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro Midtown AA Exploitation

01:44 Why It Was Hard To Leave AA

06:34 1990's "Troubled Teen" Sent To AA

9:19 Midtown AA Cult

12:15 Misdiagnosed As Alcoholic

17:54 Breaking Free From AA

22:50 Coercive Control in AA

27:45 13th Stepping Children

32:46 What Helped Her Heal

41:23 Red flags in AA

48:00 Societies Blind Spot to AA Harms

1:02:36 Sinclair Method + "No Meds" in AA

1:06:55 Cult Experts Won't Touch AA

1:09:55 If You're in A Rouge AA Group

1:17:49 Staying Safe From Predators

1:26:47 Leaving AA, Cocaine + ADHD Diagnosis

1:35:12 Sexual Abuse: Speaking Out + Not Being Believed

1:46:34 Men Get 13th Stepped Too

1:49:42 Trafficked To Other AA Groups

2:00:41 Shifting Public Consciousness on Addiction Recovery

Mandi's IG: https://www.instagram.com/mandiptalkspredators/

Mandi's Substack: https://mandiptalkspredators.substack.com/

Join our free deprogramming AA Community and get free resources in the 🔓 AA Escape Kit

here → 🔓 AA Escape Kit click here

Want to dive deeper? Join my Deprogramming AA course:

→ 🌀 Deprogram AA Course 

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Let’s get f*cking free.