Today’s episode is called “I’m Sorry (My Amends)” — but this isn’t the kind of amends you think. 🕊️

I just got off our Deprogram Zoom Call inside the free Deprogram Lounge, and someone said something that hit me hard:

“I don’t agree with everything you say.” And honestly… that’s exactly what I hope for.

This episode is about learning to think for ourselves again — after indoctrination, after dogma, after groupthink. It’s about realizing that disagreement isn’t danger. It’s freedom. 💥

In this episode:

• Why I want you to disagree with me
• How critical thinking cracked my AA brainwashing
• What “recovering from recovery” really means
• Why blind faith feels like safety — but isn’t
• How we find truth together through dialogue

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Let’s get f*cking free.

You're invited to our first ever LIVE stream episode featuring Tara Grace from Burn The Stigma and Kirsten (me, Sobriety Bestie) discussing all the addiction and recovery things.

We went live on Sunday November 2nd and are thinking about making this an ongoing thing (let me know what you think!).

Burn The Stigma channel:‪@Burnthestigma420‬

Tara's Stanton Peel interview

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🪩 Get free tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚

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Let’s get f*cking free.

Escaping AA: Halloween Special with Carrie (AA Escapee 👻)

Your best thinking got you here — now let’s get you free.

In this Halloween jam, Carrie and I riff the AA clichés we lived, how we actually left, and what life’s like now without the daily-reprieve hamster wheel.

Critical thinking, self-trust, nervous system regulation, and writing a new story — no chips required.

Carrie's Substack

Timestamps:

0:00 Escaping from AA Intro

0:19 What It Was Like (in AA)

08:36 What happened (to leave AA)

10:59 No Daily Reprieve Needed

15:36 Escaping AA

18:49 What It's Like Now

28:33 Reinventing + Reconstructing After AA

31:34 AA Escapee Awakening

34:34 Normalizing Leaving Recovery

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👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge

Let’s get f*cking free.

There are many harmful aspects of Alcoholics Anonymous, but today we’re diving into what I believe is the most damaging paragraph in the Big Book of AA — and how it quietly stripped away my self-trust, autonomy, and personal power.

If you’ve ever wondered why you still doubt yourself, feel “selfish” for wanting things, or have trouble trusting your own instincts after AA — this episode is for you.

In this podcast, I break down how this one paragraph shaped my thinking for years and how I’ve been rewiring my brain since leaving AA.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro Harmful Line in AA Big Book

02:42 Most Harmful Big Book Paragraph

03:55 Why It's Harmful

07:15 How The Harmful Brainwashing Happened

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👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge

Let’s get f*cking free.

Ever wonder how smart, self-aware people can get trapped in systems like AA for years, decades or life? 🤔

In this episode, we break down the decision traps that keep us stuck — and how to reclaim your mind, freedom, and critical thinking power.

If you’ve ever felt fooled, shamed, or confused after leaving a high-control group or belief system, this one’s for you.

Timestamps:

00:00 AA Fools Smart People Intro

01:38 1 - Loss Aversion

05:20 2 - Sunk Cost Fallacy

08:56 3 - Framing Effect

11:04 4 - Mental Accounting

13:29 5 - Overconfidence or Intuition Bias

16:17 Growing in Wisdom

19:11 Cautious With Ideologies

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👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge

Let’s get f*cking free.

There’s a term that unlocked massive freedom for me when I left Alcoholics Anonymous: Ideological Possession.

In this episode, I share how I first heard the concept from Jordan Peterson, how it helped me see AA for what it truly is — a belief system, not a path to truth — and how understanding it completely changed the way I see the world.

If you’ve ever felt possessed by an ideology — whether it’s AA, religion, politics, or something else — this one’s for you.

We’ll talk about:

00:00 Ideological Possession Intro

04:15 “You don’t have ideas, ideas have you”

06:02 Understanding Ideological Possession Unlocked Freedom

07:56 True Believers vs. Periphery Cult Members

10:17 Why I no longer try to convert anyone

Jordan Peterson video

Biology of Desire book review video

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📚 Deprogram Book List

🪩 Get free tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚

👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge

Let’s get f*cking free.

Is addiction a disease, a choice — or something in between? 🤔

In this episode, I dive into The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease by Mark Lewis, PhD — the book we just finished in our Deprogram Book Club inside the free Deprogram Lounge community. 💬📚

Mark Lewis argues that addiction isn’t a disease or a moral failing — it’s a deeply learned habit rooted in neuroplasticity and desire.

In this video, I share my biggest takeaways from the book, how my view of addiction has evolved since leaving AA, and why I now see addiction as a habit of thought, feeling, and behavior — one that can be unlearned.

We’ll explore:

• Why the “disease model” doesn’t hold up to science
• How neuroplasticity explains both addiction and recovery
• What studies like Rat Park + Vietnam veterans reveal about environment
• Why “recovery” is really just the beginning of something new
• How AA pathologizes normal emotions and replaces self-trust with dogma

Timestamps:

00:54 Core Framework

01:31 Addiction as a Habit

06:03 We Over Pathologize People

07:51 Evidence Against The Disease Model

09:40 Habit Loops

12:23 Our Brains Recover On Their Own

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🪩 Get free tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚

👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge

Let’s get f*cking free.

Leaving AA isn’t just about walking away from meetings — it’s about rewiring your brain.

In this episode of The Sobriety Bestie Podcast, I share 7 ways Alcoholics Anonymous can hijack your thinking (often subtly, then aggressively)… and how to get your critical thinking and self-trust back.

I spent 10 years in AA and left in 2020. What I’ve discovered since will blow your mind. This video is part of our Critical Thinking Series — because freedom starts with changing our minds.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro – AA Brainwashing Intro

01:13 1 – Authority Bias

04:10 2 – Groupthink

06:42 3 – Confirmation Bias

13:27 4 – Learned Helplessness

18:14 5 – Negativity Bias

23:47 6 – Anchoring Bias

28:03 7 – Illusory Truth Effect

Videos mentioned:

5 Ways to Stop Second Guessing Yourself After Leaving AA

Deconstructing Sobriety Birthdays + AA Sober Time

Leaving AA Conversations (playlist)

🌀 Deprogram AA Course

📚 Deprogram Book List

🪩 Get free tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚

👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge

Let’s get f*cking free.

Have you ever caught yourself spinning on a decision — looping between “what if” and “maybe not”? You’re not alone.

In this episode, I’m sharing 5 powerful ways to stop second-guessing yourself, especially if you’re leaving AA, deconstructing 12-step ideology, or just learning to trust your own thinking again.

By the end of this video, you’ll understand:

• Why second-guessing happens
• How to spot cognitive dissonance in real time
• A simple move to get unstuck fast

This is for anyone who’s been taught to doubt themselves — by society, religion, recovery programs, or high-control groups — and is now reclaiming their critical thinking, intuition, and freedom.

Timestamps:

00:00 Stop Second Guessing Yourself in Recovery intro

00:59 Why I Was Second Guessing Myself After Leaving AA

03:30 1 - Cognitive Dissonance

11:32 2 - Fear of Mistakes or Regrets

16:45 3- Conditioning and Authority

23:36 4 - Perfectionism and Control

29:08 5 - Threat Mode Biology

38:55 Recap 5 Ways to Stop Second Guessing Yourself

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📚 Deprogram Book List

🪩 Get free tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚

👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge click here

Let’s get f*cking free.

Six months ago I finally hit publish on my first video about leaving AA—and it changed everything.

What started as fear turned into freedom, growth, and a whole new life. In this episode I reflect on six months of dissenting out loud, what I’ve learned from deconstructing Alcoholics Anonymous, and why this work matters so much. From 123 videos to playlists on AA mind control, cult comparisons, grieving, and alternatives, we’ve built a massive resource for anyone ready to get AA out of their head (playlists linked below)

Playlists:

AA Mind Control

AA Is A Cult

AA Culty Comments

Leaving AA Conversations

Deprogramming Books

Grieving AA

AA Alternatives

AA Propaganda

Escape Stories

Addiction Science

Now, as I move from deconstruction into critical thinking and reconstruction, I’m inviting you to keep evolving with me. Team Freedom—let’s keep getting free together.

🌀 Deprogram AA Course

📚 Deprogram Book List

🪩 Get free tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚

👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge click here.

💬 Let’s Connect @SobrietyBestie

DM me or comment on any Sobriety Bestie socials. I’m here for the conversation.

Let’s get f*cking free.