Social Distancer

Leicester go into lockdown with schools and shops closing, and people urged to stay home. Hattie Mancock is slow to act, but hopefully it'll make a difference. Also I look at Sweden's unique response and Gavin Williamson wants to sell you a fireplace. *Contains swearing*

Nicola Sturgeon wears a tartan mask as Scotland goes 3 days without a COVID-19 death. But hey, Bonson Johnson is doing press ups! Where's the video, Bonson? Meanwhile the mob boss makes me a suprise offer. *Contains swearing*

I have a Zoom meet up with old friends who talk about how their adopted and home countries have dealt with COVID-19; all of them much, much better than Britain! Meanwhile I commentate on Ian Blackford calling Johnson a racist in the House of Commons a few years ago. Plus, the much-anticipated mask unboxing! *Contains swearing*

Independent SAGE have started a weekly briefing. I cover the best bits. Meanwhile some of the good people of Florida have choice words for a doctor advising them to wear masks! *Contains swearing*

The new weekly figures for Test and Trace are worse than last week! Meanwhile Bournemouth declares a major incident after 500,000 people go to the beaches! I witness a touching moment with the local mob boss. *Contains swearing*

I launch a new segment, the Daily Beefing, to compensate for the loss of the UK government daily briefing. Meanwhile the Housing Minister is up to his middle in the corruption puddle and Kier Starmer comes back home to Victoryville after exposing Bonson Johnson's lies at PMQs. *Contains swearing*

We celebrate 100 episodes with a new journal reading from Noel in New York, my top ten UK government f*** ups and a few surprises! Thank you so much for listening! *Contains swearing*

Trump comes under fire for saying he asked for testing to be slowed and second waves hit countries around the world. Meanwhile the local mob boss and I play chess; dare I do The Move? *Contains swearing*

Trump's gamble on a rally to liven up his campaign failed after TikTok teens pranked his campaign by reserving hundreds of thousands of tickets! Polls indicate there's a good chance Trump'll be defeated in November. Meanwhile the R value in Germany is rising. *Contains swearing*

An outbreak at a meat packing factory in West Yorkshire tells us everything we need to know about the UK government's catastrophic response to COVID-19. I slip into a Worsleyism and introduce you to the greatest ventriloquist of all time! *Contains swearing*