Social Distancer

My son and I go for an exciting walk around the neighborhood for the first time since lockdown. It was weird seeing the place again, but very safe. At George Floyd's funeral Reverend Al Sharpton talked about BLM Bristol chucking the statue of Edward Colston into the water, while another statue of a slave trader was removed tonight in East London. *Contains swearing*

A great day for New Zealand as they remove all restrictions, apart from closed borders, and return to something close to normal. Jacinda Ardern is arguably the best leader on the planet! Meanwhile in Britain people are huffing over the destruction of a statue of a slave trafficker! *Contains swearing*

Bristol Black Lives Matter protesters pulled down a statue of slave trafficker Edward Colston, immediately prompting Priti Patel to come out of hiding and condemn it! Meanwhile John Edmonds, SAGE attendee, admits that locking down late was a mistake and "cost a lot of lives" - why can't Mancock be as honest? *Contains swearing*

You wait millions of years for the Chief of Beef, and two turn up in the same week! Meanwhile Andy Burnham is doing his own press conference in Sunday, addressing the R at 1 in the North West. *Contains swearing*

Despite Hattie Mancock's insistence to the contrary, at least two studies released today show the R value is rising, and may be at or above 1 in the South West and North West. Meanwhile, the U-turn on masks continues. This weekend hundreds of thousands plan to participate in Black Lives Matter protests against the racist murder of George Floyd. *Contains swearing*

Finally, the Chief of Beef Grant Shits is calling everyone to wear masks on public transport, in a few weeks! Better late than never, said the horse, having bolted from the stable months ago. Meanwhile Reverend Al Sharpton's eulogy for George Floyd is brilliant. *Contains swearing*

With news of the Business Secretary going into self-isolation with suspected COVID-19 after mopping his brow at the dispatch box while giving a speech in the House of Commons, are we all just waiting for a second wave? *Contains swearing*

A grim day as the UK passes yet another milestone, while fears of a second peak continue to grow. I quote for the UK Statistics Authority letter to Mancock, telling him to stop manipulating the data. I also do a brilliant Albert Finney impression. *Contains swearing*

Schools reopen to some Primary years but many parents keep their children at home. Hancock is cockahoop and I actually do a short episode! *Contains swearing*

I describe an incredible experience on Dartmoor and wonder whether a huge shift in policy for approx. 2,200,000 people shielding should be announced via the Sunday Telegraph! *Contains swearing*