Solutions from Scripture

No one enjoys being around a negative person who finds the bad and the wrong continually. People will do anything to get away from this type of person even if it's moving away from them or shutting their heart off to them. On the other hand, a positive person builds relationships because their focus is on finding the good and saying what they are grateful for. What does God think of grumbling, complaining, and a contentious spirit? It's quite surprising!

There are two things we can never get back. We can't take back our words and we can't go back in time and do it all over again. It's important to realize, every day is a gift from God to enjoy those we love with our words and the way we spend our time with them. And this includes our relationship with God. We don't know when those we love will leave this earth nor do we know when we will. Time is precious and the days are few. So how do we choose to live them?

Oh, the stress of life! So many things to be stressed out about! But is there a way we can eliminate some of the things that cause unnecessary stress and then learn keys on how to live through the truly stressful times in life? We don't want to maximize the stress of living but rather minimize it so we can enjoy the life God has given us.

What causes us to become a worrisome or anxious person? And then when we know the causes, what can we do about it? It's important we learn to calm ourselves amidst the storms of life because storms will continually come our way. Sometimes it's learning what to focus on and what to let go of and other times, it's seeking help from wise, godly people that have "doable" solutions. The key is to get off the crazy cycle of worry and anxiety, so it doesn't rule our lives. Yes, we are human, and we will get overwhelmed, but it's learning how to deal with it.

The most important thing we can change is our thoughts because our thoughts drive every area of our life: Our words, actions, attitudes, and decisions. We can try to change our behavior, but our beliefs or thoughts are what drive our continued habit patterns. When we can learn how to assess what we are thinking, why we are thinking it, and possibly who those thoughts are coming from, we can then define the type of person we want to be. That's because our thoughts and what we focus on define us.

One of the biggest destroyers of the home is anger. Anger builds layers and layers of devaluing the people we should value the most. Harsh words spoken out of anger can be forgiven, but it can take lots of time for healing from those words. This is because words pierce through the most tenderest places of the heart. When we realize the heart can be easily bruised and broken, then we are more intentional about what words we choose to say and how we say them. Why would we want to break the heart of the very ones that trust us to love them?

Our tongue is a "wild little beast" because when it gets out of control, it can cause much damage to our relationships. At times hurtful, abusive degrading, or even hateful words are said to the people we love the most. And then loving, kind beneficial words can come out of that same mouth. It's as though we have two mouths. A mean one and a nice one! Since words matter and make a difference in either building or tearing down a relationship, it's important we are intentional about how we treat others with our words. This is not about perfection but about progression in communication skills.

One of the most damaging things to any relationship is when we pridefully argue because we want to prove we are right. We value us being right more than us being right in how we handle disagreements. When a relationship is layered in continual arguments, then it is difficult over time to unpeel what was of value when the relationship started. So how can we disagree without being disagreeable?

None of us are born great communicators. It's a learned art that takes time to develop. This includes valuing what others have to say as we simply listen to learn and then at other times talking so we can give to others the valued lessons we would like to share with them. The key to wise communicators is that they have learned to do both!

We've all probably done it: Said things in haste and then wished we wouldn't have said it. Is there a way we can learn to "think before we speak?" It's far easier to not say something then to try to backtrack and undo what we said. It's important we don't spew out anything we want to say at any time to anyone because words affect a relationship. Communication skills are simply knowing what to do and what not to do and then practicing what we know. Sure, we will fail at times, but true failure is not caring enough to try again.