That’s right, you probably thought we did the old murder-suicide thing, but we didn’t.  In fact, in true SK style, we have six or so episodes that we recorded over the past few months that I may still release.  In addition to that, James and I are starting at least two new shows and “YouTube Content”!  Stay tuned for all of that, but in this last episode of Sorry, Kansas James and I solve all the worlds problems and give you an effortless recipe for happiness and satisfaction.  This episode is brought to you by Hip Young Cool Studios.

I know, I know, but seriously, my computer started fucking up and I didn’t handle it very well.  I sincerely wish that was just a lame excuse, but at least I talked myself out of throwing my computer against the wall.  Join James and I as we discuss life hacks, leaving contacts in too long, bad words, camming-con, prayer discounts, the rock group Queen, and much more.  The much ballyhooed (I can’t believe I spelled that right on my first try) first installment of Jon Feist Writes: The College Years is this episode, as well as James being briefly eaten by a magical snake.  This episode is brought to you by Nowel.

Links:

fuck this

fuck this too

I sure hope you you still want to listen to these.  If you are wondering, “what the fuck happened?”  Then tune in everyday this week for new episodes, and a light dip into the darkness that’s pervaded my life the past couple of months (and the decade before that).  If it’s all the same, I’m just gonna pretend none of it happened and get back to making this show and making it better than ever.

This episode was recorded months ago.  Our friends JACK and ALAN come by for a special episode where we take a trip to Mass Street Soda in lovely downtown Lawrence.  It’s a fun episode of tasting and comparing weird, wild sodas!

This episode was recorded when James and I were very sleep deprived.  Then I edited it when I was sleep deprived and I am writing this to you now as person who is, in fact, deprived of sleep.  So, with all this deprivity in mind, enjoy this episode that has a sort of mad energy.  Jack Kerouac sort of mad not madvertising kind of mad, man.  This episode is brought to you by James.

As members of the band Staind seem fond of saying, It’s been a while.  Who knows if they really are fond of it, but it seems that way.  I can tell you that James and I discuss loose butthole, songs, the patch, clapping at movies, cock wrappings, milk grades, local recycling bullshit, and much more.  This week’s episode is brought to you by Dr Salt.

If you listened all the way to the end you heard Heart Trouble by Rachel Kaplus.  To hear more (and give her your money) click HERE.

This time around James and I talk about shit that’s too funny to describe.

Wow, I guess no one (except James) reads these.  I don’t really hate Red Letter Media, but I do hate that some people have enough money to waste on something like that when people go to bed hungry every night.  Reality simply does not make sense to me most of the time.  Let’s forget about that though and listen to James breakdown the ideology of Tweety Bird, a crazy ass Joke Machine, an interview with the creator of Californication Tom Kapinos, an improv scene, and of course we’ve got topics too.  This episode is brought to you by The Money Grubber.

Links:

Twisted coloring books

A list of useful website compiled by a useless one

See what I mean?

Proof of a transaction

Alright, since no one reads these I’m going to entertain myself.  I officially rescind my support of Red Letter Media.  The fact that they turned down $250 to do an hour interview with me was insulting enough, but I understood.  Since they refuse to do the one thing that brought them to my and everyone else’s attention, the Plinkett reviews, the only thing left for me to point to was that they weren’t begging for money from their fans.  Selling DVDs is standard, same with merch, and even their auctions where they sell literal trash I’m fine with.  With a DVD you at least have purchased a product.  In the case of Feeding Frenzy it was a worthless product, but a product none the less.  What I can’t stand is that they think they need to rent a warehouse to do their mediocre shit in.  Let me tell you why I’m really mad though.  They already get ad revenue.  There’s an average of 4 ads per video.  Even if they get 1/4 of a penny for every ad play, and they average 100,000 views, that’s $1,000 per video.  That’s for dumb fuck movie reviews too, not the millions of views they get on Plinkett reviews.  You know, the kind of reviews that require writing and work, not the kind where you pay your friends to get drunk with you and make lame lowest common denominator jokes.  The worst part is that they think they are smart.  They think that a collection a drunk idiots can ride the line of bad on purpose and over the top camp?  I watched Feeding Frenzy, they can’t…or at least won’t.  When they first started out they were able to make money and buy equipment shooting weddings and shit, but they are too good for that sort of thing now.  That sort of thing being, of course, honest work.  No, now they need you and me to do honest work, and then give the proceeds to them.  I say fuck that.  Have you seen Clerks, or El Mariachi?  Those are two excellent examples of working with nothing.  Another good example is Evil Dead.  So, Red Letter Media, take Sam Raimi’s cue and beg for money from dentists, not people who can’t afford to go to one…you worthless fucking assholes.

Links:

Juggalo light

Jaggalo in depth

Saul Williams

Dose anyone read these?  If you read these please let me know.  The topics this week include dreams, the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, joke theft, misheard words, blatant marketing to children, characters that then became actors as characters, and much more.  This week’s episode is brought to you by The Burger Log from Franklyn and Ginger’s ranch restaurant.

Links:

Cereals we’ve lost

Rogan vs Mencia

Go deeper!

Welcome back for another round of insanity.  This episode was recorded the day before April Fools.  It’s just an excuse, but I really wanted to have nothing to do with that holiday.  I feel like a true alcoholic who stays home on St Patrick’s Day.  Like I said though, that’s just an excuse.  Really, my depression and laziness are neck and neck most of the time, and neither of them ever actually “wins.”  BUT I haven’t smoked a cigarette in 45 hours, so that’s something.  This weeks topics include being a trashman, fox news wagging dicks in our faces, the coolest oven mitt, waffle tacos, and much more.  I also give a rare movie recommendation, and the epic conclusion to part one of Jon Feist Writes.  This episode is brought to you by Chicho Camicho’s Rock-Bottomless Margaritas.

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Here’s Fox’s dick

They’re making them, act fast

We’re not the only ones