Guess who the Reylo fan is. No really guess. Is it one of us. Is it neither of us. We really cannot tell. We can tell you that the sequels are sorely lacking in any Obi-Wan Kenobi or Anakin Skywalker. REY KENOBI TRUTHERS 4 LYFE (truthers because it is true, welcome to the initiation of your gaslighting). The sequels also needed Han and Luke and Leia together just ONCE, like AT ALL, but I DIGRESS. Let's all face it, because we have to: these movies had amazing potential. But they sucked. Don't ask us what the plot was. The only thing good about them (besides The Force Awakens, we started so strong, we could have had it ALLLLLLL) was the characters, and luckily that's what we talk about! So this week, we are sorting Rey, Kylo Ren, Finn and Poe 3 out of the 4 of whom are really great fantastic people and 1 who is so fucking unintentionally funny wow it's actually a good thing he died though because there was no coming back for him. SO. Join us and see where we sort them. Does Kylo live up to grandaddy Vader and prove himself to be the heir of Slytherin house? Spoiler alert: nope! It's so much funnier than that!!

We're back in Horseshoe Bay for another spooooooky mystery. It's not Halloween this time around because this year is Vampire Palooza, but since the 4th of July passed, we're officially calling it Spooky Season! Last time we sorted Nancy Drew, we got most of the Drew Crew (which doesn't mean we don't talk about Nancy and Ace this episode, oh ho no no) but we left our resident British witch to be sorted with Nancy's two (gay) dads! That's right, this week we're focusing on Bess, Carson and Ryan. If you don't know who those people are, you aren't watching the show, and if you aren't watching the show then we have NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU. It is the very best show. Do not disrespect us or Dead Lucy. Because she'll come for you.

Happy Fourth and more importantly happy Hannah's birthday! Today we boldly go where nowhere has gone before and sort the crew members from the bridge of the USS Enterprise into houses. So half the episode is solely about Kirk, and then Spock, and then KirkandSpock, who cares? We're just following the example the show sets okay. You can't blame us, and how perfect they are as their house representatives, and how fascinating that makes their relationship. It's okay. We're all okay. We're just shipping the oldest and most worthy slash ship of all time. We love this episode, please take a listen.

WHERE YOU LEAD. I WILL FOLLOW. ANYWHERE. THAT YOU TELL ME TO. And that includes to Star's Hollow for 7 seasons and a reunion! One of our most favorite guests Tricia is back and she requested we get to know the Gilmore girls, Luke's diner, and the Yale campus so here we are! All three of us with wildly different opinions on characters and sorting (except for the opinion on what Logan would do when he learns about the baby, we all agree on that one). You know, sometimes we shit sort, and sometimes a show demands that you watch all 7 seasons, plus the reunion where all of your favs are revisited and nothing happens. This was one such show. Our diligence would have made even Taylor proud. It's also interesting as I write this, I'm remembering there is actually a house not represented in this episode. That's wild. But we do indeed touch on why that might be the case. Anyway, ENJOY. Drink loads of coffee while listening, that was cle3arly a thing.

He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where...are you, like the rest of the world, a fan of Ted Lasso? If you're not, leave. If you're not because you haven't watched it yet, WATCH IT. We promise, although it is about football (football is after all, life) it is not a sports show. It is show about humanity and it's just NICE. With the finale (possibly the series finale) airing last week, your hosts on Sort of Brilliant decided to sort just about everyone who means anything to AFC Richmond. Ted, Rebecca, Roy, Keeley and Jamie get the most attention, but we also sort Sam, Dani, Higgens, Beard, Nate, Isaac...maybe Colin? I think we sorted Colin. We forgot to sort Trent Crimm, formerly from the Independent, but I'll tell ya right now, that man is a Ravenclaw. ANYWAY. We are a mixed bag of emotions about the finale, but not about these characters, who we love (except Nate, but ignore that). If you want a solid half hour of feel good and our amazed astonishment at the unhinged trio Roy, Keeley and Jamie make, tune in!

DON'T DEAD. OPEN INSIDE. Do you fear the walking dead? Us too. Or Lauren does. She'd kill herself immediately or you'd have another Rick or Michonne on your hands. Get ready for this description written by the only person on the episode who basically knows nothing about the show. This week we're covering an extremely topical show in pop culture (about a decade ago) - The Walking Dead! We're sorting Rick, Michonne, Daryl and Negan this week, and Lauren was shown everything she could be shown without seeing a single zombie. One episode they were in a barn. Next episode they were in a jail! Now Negan is throwing live people into hoards of zombies out of his RV. This show is a hoot with absolutely no context, but wow isn't everyone unhinged in different but increasingly hilarious ways. Did I mention that George is the special guest on this show? It's also his birthday. Happy Birthday George! Anyway. The Walking Dead? A good show I hear. Happy to be a part of this. We sorted them. Lauren will never watch the show in it's entirety, but this episode almost made her wish she did.

We're all hooked on a feeling. Rachel has not been quiet about her confusion and sometimes downright derision for superhero movies, but the Guardians are Her thing. Peter Quill (STARLORD) is her man. Guys, this is her episode. We don't know what she'll do now that it's over. By the way, is anyone else totally broken by Volume 3? Like yeah, it was GOOD for what it was left with after the mess that was Endgame, but AT WHAT COST. THE COST OF QUILL AND GAMORA? Do they even have a ship name? Quimora? Star Hunter? I don't know but they were cute and the Russo Brothers killed it like they killed so many other things good and pure about the Marvel universe. Anyway. No you know what I'm not done - the whole point of this franchise is FOUND FAMILY and then their family is broken up????? NO. Anyway. In this episode we sort Peter/Quill/Starlord, Gamora, thee Rocket Raccoon, Drax, Mantis and Nebula. They all make a very interesting mix of houses, but it works. It's beautiful. Listen in.

We may have fooled you into thinking this podcast is about sorting fictional characters into Hogwarts houses, but really, this is a podcast about Supernatural. And we're finally done hiding it (we never hid it). The episode may not be called Sort of Supernatural, but it's BASICALLY THE SAME THING. Sort of The Winchesters, the Supernatural prequel! Thanks be to the Ackles' and Robbie Thompson, and god bless the sexy silence. These are all deep cuts; if you don't live your life by this dumb show you won't understand them, and that's ok. Get out while you still can, it's too late for us. ANYWAY, this week we sort John Winchester (not smug about his house at ALL), Mary Winchester, Carlos Cervantez and Lata Dar. Listen to this episode, it was as easy for us as breathing. When Rachel and I say we sort characters as a natural part of every day conversation, we REALLY mean that about Supernatural characters. We know them all personally and we're here to tell you about them. This Scooby gang is full of emotions houses and we love them all. RENEW THE SHOW, WE WANT A SEASON 2. BLESS.