We've traveled the whole goddamn multiverse and Stephen Strange is the same Hogwarts House in every. Single. One. So is Christine, and, if our theory holds (it will hold, we're always right) Wong. Strange was right, there really is only one way! We get right to the heart of the mystic arts and the Sanctum to sort Dr. Strange, Christine and Wong and start connecting them to the larger Marvel verse. For real, once you know Strange's house, the way he's acted around the other Avengers is hilarious. Also, we've already sorted Wanda (GRYFFINDOR!) but she's in MoM so much she absolutely gets her screentime in this episode. We were SO EXCITED to talk about Dr. Strange because frankly, your hosts are a bit obsessed with him! Pathetic! He's fucking crazy and hilarious, did you see the metal shit where he possessed his own dead body? OH yeah, there are spoilers in here. Anyway, open up a portal and hop in, we have a blast. 

MAN FOR SALE. GET YOUR HOT, FRESH MAN FOR SALE. COME AND BUY MY BOOTY. Ahoy mateys! It's Our Flag Means Death week! Like everyone else, we were taken totally off gaurd by this gay little pirate show and had to quick add it to our schedule because it's SO GOOD. Meg and Carla from Bed, Wed or Behead pod join us for the third damn time in a row to discuss the houses of Stede, Blackbeard and Oluwande. They're some weird ones! That whole ship is a really fun and interesting dynamic, actually. Rachel is of course drooling over leather daddy Blackbeard while the rest of us just think Oluwande is the neatest! Anyway, the episode is full of the ocean, ships (not that kind) and healthy queer representation! It's good times! Meg goes one for three! We're all just doing our best out here folks.

You are the object of all my desires and the bane of my existence. This episode is all about DUTIES. Secrete duties. Duties only one house could ever understand, a house that both Anthony and Kate belong to, because they are insane. Even more insane that they're dating. Just craziness the entire way around. And only Edwina could put up with them. Everyone else can't. Not even Daphne, at her very most Slytherin. The level of idiot she thinks Anthony is was the height of comedy. ANYWAY. Carla and Meg from Bed Wed or Behead are back for a second week in a row because we can't seem to shake them. They just live in the Zoom room we record in and there's no way to evict them. So they help us sort Anthony, Kate and Edwina, and we yell a lot about DUTIES, and we also discuss this regency smut show that absolutely captivates us. Come join us!

THEY'RE BAAAAACK. Not the Eurovision folks, we've never done Eurovision before. We can only do it once, it's a Netflix movie. But we ARE with Meg and Carla again! The BeWBs are back and we're sorting Carla's favorite movie in the whole world ever! Rachel had never seen it before and doesn't even know what Eurovision is, and Lauren only saw it once when it first came out, so Carla was the leader of this episode. I didn't mention Meg. Meg hates Lars. And also Meg and Carla are the ones fighting this episode, not Lauren and Rachel. Anyway, we sort Lars, Sigrit and LGBTQ+ icon Alexander Lemtov. But not the elves. Please don't stab us for this elves, you're unsortable. Anyway, this is unhinged. Ja ja ding dong. Please listen to this episode and watch this classic Will Ferrell comedy.

SOB is back to shitsort 9-1-1, but this time it's the Lonestar edition. We still don't know anything about this franchise! So Hailee and Illy have graciously returned to help us sort TK, Carlos and Owen. And guess what y'all, TK and Carlos are BOYFRIENDS. Sent our little Destiel shipping asses into a tizzy. This episode is very off the rails and half the time we're not sure what we're talking about, until we start fighting about Owen, and then the entire episode is fighting about Owen's house. Actually that's the episode. It's just fighting over Owen. Spoiler alert: Rachel did not win this fight. Come to think of it, I think there was only one character all four of us agreed on. We recorded this in January, I don't remember much else but the fighting.

We told to you we'd be there for you, and we keep our promises. Here we are a SECOND time to round out the Friends crew. Tricia is back and this week we're sorting Phoebe, Monica and Rachel, who were much more interesting than the guys. And their houses reflect that! There wasn't much fighting this episode but there was a lot of Slytherin hate and Ross hate, but those two aren't related. We hate Ross despite him being a Slytherin. The Slytherin hate is to make Lauren made. Rachel is yelling at me about how Ross is great. He's not, this episode isn't even about him. Rachel also introduces her "everyone is a combination of two of the Friends" theory. And we talk about Canadian regions (provinces? Someone in Canada tell us what's going on there). Anyway, another exciting week of sorting at SOB Pod!

We're back in the TARDIS this week with the women who made Ten better (or tried to, anyway). That's right, it's Ten companion week with Rose, Martha, and Donna! No one knows that brilliant, clever mind better than them, and Ten knows he'd be nothing without them (and proves it by regenerating when he's lost them all). Their stories may end sadly (except Martha's) but we don't think any of them would change a thing. Ten did manage to get rid of all of them though, which clearly means none of them are Slytherins. So take our hand and run with us towards the sorting hat as we tell you what houses Ten's companions get sorted into, and also discuss why it is he only attracts a certain kind of house.