WE'RE BAAAAAAACK. But, you say, you never went anywhere! Correct we never go anywhere. But it is a new year, and we're back. With more Marvel content. It just doesn't stop, except it will, because now this multibillion dollar corporation is leaving us high and dry until May. And they know we'll be begging for it. Bastards. Anyway. This week we're talking about arguably the best Disney show, Hawkeye (Lauren is very biased at this point as it's the origin Kate Bishop, world's best superhero). Thanks Fraction and Aja. AND THANK YOU FOR BRINGING BACK YELENA. We sort her this week, along with Kate. And Clint I guess. But we care way more about Kate and Yelena and they definitely should be a couple (groans from Rachel based on what their houses are). But they would be a good couple, houses be damned. Make it happen Marvel, you owe us. So there you go. Listen to the episode. And after you do, go back two weeks and listen to our Spider-Man episode, because that one is hella good too.

THEY SAY THAT TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUTTA ME! It's teenage Peter Parker from the MCU! We love Peter Parker in this house, and the world has spoiled us with three different versions of him on the big screen, sometimes even on the same screen (*River Song voice* SPOILERS SWEETIE) but this time around we're sorting the Marvel Cinematic Universe Peter played by Tom Holland himself, along with MJ and Ned. Does the Dean Wincheseter theory apply here? Will I explain what that is to the two people who actually read these summaries? No I will not, but yes it does apply. We will sort all the Spider-Mans, but this time around it's just our MCU boy, all alone in the world, no one knowing his name. Very sad. With great power comes the great responsibility of no one knowing who the fuck you are. Only one house could handle that shit. Tune in to find out who. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS! And all other winter holidays, including Boxing Day! Since it is Christmas, we're sorting a Christmas movie, chosen by our loyal listeners. They've picked the most obvious one of all: DIE HARD. Don't start that argument with us, we will win. And obviously, we sorted the building. Jk. Although the building is a Hufflepuff. Rachel and Lauren did not expect to like this movie as much as they did, nor did they expect another Amy/Jonah style fight where they end up getting caught up in their own houses, but here we are. It happened. Obviously John McClane was sorted, as well as Holly (despite her abysmal lack of representation, come on the '80's) and Hans, and then we had to sort Powell because he ended up being the coolest character ever. We got a pretty good sorting out of this bunch too. Anyway. Christmas. Bombs. Guns. Killing Eastern Europeans who turn out to be common thiefs. Ho ho ho. Happy Holidays everyone!

Think the title of this podcast is missing a captain, mate, SAVVY? You know him, you love him, you've seen at least one person dressed up as him on Halloween each year and you HAVE heard of him...it's Captain Jack Sparrow. But not with the Black Pearl. Instead he's being thrown under the sorting hat along with his (friends? Victims? Unwilling compatriots?) Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan. It's our second Disney episode and we STILL haven't done any classic Disney, but we're getting closer folks! The sorting in the episode wasn't difficult (for us at least) but we DID love talking about these characters, except maybe Will (get interesting Will). Plus we got to explore a friendship pairing we haven't talked a lot about before! It's all fun and games out here on the wide open sea, definitely not turning into skeletons or being eaten by a kraken, just sailing around, on the ocean, looking for treasure, du duh duhduhduhduh duh duh duh duh duhduhduhduh.

It's just a bunch of hocus pocus. Is it? Is it Max? Is a virgin lighting the black flame candle on All Hallow's Eve EVER just a bunch of hocus pocus???? You're lucky Binks didn't kill you with his cat disdain. ANYWAY. This isn't about Max, or Binks, or even Dani, it's all about the Sanderson sisters as it should be. Lauren is too much of a wimp to watch an actual scary movie, and Rachel wants to be Sarah or date her, we're not really sure, so we ended up here! Disney movies aren't all that hard to sort, but boy did we have fun doing it (and going off on tangents, but you better enjoy those too). We hope you all have a HAPPY and SAFE Halloween and that you don't wander into any abandoned museums with human skin books and light a candle or get stuck dancing all night in a school gymnasium with a woman dressed as pointy boob Madonna.

"911, what's your emergency?" The emergency here is Lauren and Rachel have only seen three episode of 9-1-1 (and not even the same episodes - Lauren's a screw up, don't worry about it). You know what that sounds like - it's another shitsorting episode! We're joined this week by Hailee of former Outlander shitsorting fame and Illy, our graphic designer and the BIRTHDAY GIRL. Wish her a happy birthday. And then go watch 9-1-1, it'll make her happy. Our sorting victims this week, after much deliberation, were Eddie and Buck, of Buddie shipping fame. We hear they're the hottest thing on TV since Dean and Cas, so we were excited to check them out, and...it's another one of THOSE pairings. Tune in for an episode where Lauren and Rachel have no idea what they're talking about, Hailee and Illy do, and Hailee gets convinced of something else anyway (we love you Hailee). It's sort of 9-1-1!

THEY'RE BAAAAAAAACK. Meg and Carla of the BEWBs fame join us once again to help us sort Schitt's Creek! EW David!!! Just kidding, the show is simply the best. So best, we sorted not two, not three, but FOUR characters. That's right, David, Alexis, Stevie and Patrick all get their turn under the hat in this week's episode. There's tears, there's fighting, there's straight up refusing to admit they ever had someone in a different house, but in the end we all agree (sort of). These four characters are all connected, and understanding their houses in how they react and relate to one another may be the most interesting thing of all. Yes, even more interesting than one of David's outfits. So come on down and join us at the Cafe Tropical, in our little town, where everyone fits in.