Cc Madhya 10.109-175
https://vedabase.io/en/library/cc/madhya/10/advanced-view/
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If one is to take advantage of the position of the spiritual master, then there has to be a sense of reverence, because mercy flows down. But, at the same time, one may lose the intimate connection of friendship in which the heart of the spiritual master opens and the contents flow out.
So there's an example of fire. One shouldn't get too close to the fire, otherwise you get burned. But if you stay too far away, you may not be able to take advantage of the qualities of the fire. So, there should be an appropriate mix of both of those.
And just as far as the second point goes, I mean, it's a generally accepted principle that intimacy in relationships anywhere, but especially with the spiritual master and the Supreme Personality of Godhead, is a more advanced position.
itthaṁ satāṁ brahma-sukhānubhūtyā
dāsyaṁ gatānāṁ para-daivatena
māyāśritānāṁ nara-dārakeṇa
sākaṁ vijahruḥ kṛta-puṇya-puñjāḥ (SB 10.12.11)
There's some wonderment in the discovery of those in Vṛndāvan in this verse I just quoted from Chapter Twelve of the Tenth Canto, that those who are in the topmost position have an equal position with the Lord. They are so intimately related, and that's put in the higher position, as more mercy, than those who are dāsyaṁ gatānāṁ para-daivatena. They see the Supreme Personality of Godhead as their master, The Supreme Lord with opulence. Therefore, the second answer to the second question is the one: when there is intimacy, then it's known that one's receiving more mercy, but both things should be there in the relationship. That's my final answer.
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