We just want to feel better ourselves everyday… to be loved, supported and belong. The ways that we approach this fundamental longing is strange. Sometimes we hurt many around us, for the deep obsession of others. Getting angry at those offline & online, just trying to make ourselves feel temporarily better. Sometimes even gripping so hard, and linking our self worth and life to these feelings.

What fuels us everyday? To wake up in the morning, to continue pursuing our dreams, to keep on creating, to move forward. Is it idols and cute girls? Probably. Is it the recognition from others?

We ramble about t.v shows, idols and creating art. About age and experience, the drive to make it, what’s the point of it and what keeps us going.

Is it our fault, that we don’t say enough, or is it others’ fault, that they never ask? Do we expect ourselves to have clear cut boundaries, for every situation, about our preferences, no-gos, and to be able to effectively communicate that with people? Do we expect ourselves to be perfect, to be better than others, once we pick up something for the first time? Do we have to point fingers and fault others, just to feel better about ourselves?

We’re all struggling with just simply existing. It’s not exactly that our self-loathing, regrets of the past, our expectations for our friendships and relationships in general are holding us back. Just, being okay with all the things in our life (the things we are proud of, and not so proud of), coexisting alongside it. Giving it space, continuing to walk forward with courage and perceiving with an avid curiosity.

Butterflies in an endless, always expanding jar. One without a lid. The butterflies inside of you, the parts that you hate, never want to see, that bring great shame. The parts that you love, the parts that are happy and fulfilling… all of those small butterflies are a part of you, and inside the vastness of your heart.

From the associations to past memories, triggered by actions. The feelings we feel during post nut clarity. Anxiety from being outside, loneliness and feeling isolated. Our resolutions and confidence in ourselves. All slowly learning, and giving these things space.

Attachment is a strange thing. when we attach ourselves to dreams, the things we want to be the way we think we should be. Expecting ourselves to be a certain way, to live like X or Y, or to achieve Z things. The expectations and attachment is what brings that suffering. We see this in ourselves and the things we read (specifically discuss The Seagull and the Hunter by Ramjak). Learning to give ourselves space to just exist. To forgive ourselves for the past, and to accept and welcome it. To continue to move forward with courage and to see things with an avid curiosity.

Giving ourselves space is a thing we’re all learning. Not suppressing or pushing away the parts that we dislike, feel disappointed or shameful about. Welcoming these things and giving it the space to flow, to exist, to simply be. Whether it be the expectations we set for ourselves - in terms of recovery, moving on, how we take things or even the things we want in our lives.

Regardless of our insecurities, incomplete-ness and limitations, we as humans continue to love and to move forward. That being stuck can be seen as not a problem, but rather as an indication of what we need to improve on. Approaching life with courage and curiosity. We delve into nostalgia and mangas as well as massages & health.

We go over our thoughts on ‘the past’ and how we perceive it and the sexual abuse and grooming that’s been going on in the Smash Bros. Community. Discussing our attachment to the things we do and the ideals we hold onto.

In this episode we go on about our favourite mangas and what we look for, transitioning into what does success mean to us and the paths we look for in life.