Spiritual Dimension – Michelle Sparkes

If embodying value is the first pillar to freedom from disordered eating; experiencing your body as home (not object) is the second…and they are intimately connected…listen here for more.

What happens when the drive for health becomes unhealthy? asks Jenny Brockie, host of SBS Insight, as she explores our nations “health obsession” with a roomful of people and three 20+ year olds struggling to recover from disordered eating and eating disorders. As I watched the show I found myself reflecting on the power of the fathers hug to bring soothing and rest to a heart of anxiety.

When a heart is anxious and troubled, what helps settle that is to be held, to be hugged by someone who loves us, who cares for us, whose heart and intention is good towards us. This settles our anxious heart. It helps us to rest and be at peace and from this base (of peace), to make decisions and choices that lead to better outcomes, healthier responses rather than fearful reactions….and more disordered eating.

What drives the movement from health to unhealth? Fear. Fear that rides on the coattails of lies believed. You’re not good enough.

So you… try harder, do better, be thinner, be healthier, exercise more (self and body) control.

And you chase your tail down the slippery slope of disordered eating into a full-blown eating disorder because the anxiety and need to exercise control does not abate, it increases. This is the nature of eating disorders.

To feel driven, compelled, pushed. To lose the freedom to CHOOSE.

To become isolated, withdrawn, dis-connected.

Oh but the healing power in the fathers embrace.

To be seen, known, loved, valued.

Irrespective of our struggles. Perfection not expected.

Strong arms and a warm heart that embrace and impart a sense of shelter from the storm, safety, security, protection, support.

Not your experience? I understand.

Our experience shapes but does not define us. Your true worth and value stand regardless of your experience (like a $100 bill that’s been trampled and spat on but is still worth $100). And there is One who sees and knows and loves you. Does not expect perfection. Knows it’s impossible. Understands your anxious heart. Longs to embrace you. Face to face. Eye to eye. To find yourself known, loved, safe, secure (though the mountains fall and the earth may change), even then.

Such comfort, such peace to impart to a troubled heart.

I have found such peace in the Father’s hug.

“Could it be that depression is not purely a physical sickness but a spiritual malaise?” asks Elizabeth Farrelly in her article, “Finding the black dog’s spiritual lead” (The Sydney Morning Herald, 26-27 August 2017 , p.30).

“Perhaps we should see it less a personal issue than a societal indictment, less a treatable pathology than a spur to spiritual recovery.”

I believe the same pondering and reflections could be directed towards the field of eating disorders/disordered eating and indeed, all of mental health.

Prof Ian Hickie spoke (in the last podcast), of the protective factor of social connection in mental health and how loss of this over the last 50 years is “one of the most important sets of issues,” for us to consider as we seek to improve mental health and “best cope together” with the challenges of 21st century living.

Elizabeth Farrelly writes of the complexity of the mind-body interaction and questions the way modern medicine resolves this by ‘pretending it’s all physical.’ But, she says, “we still don’t know how atoms and molecules generate laughter and poetry. We see that a connection exists, but not how it works, or why.”

I love this and concur.

There is a place for mystery, for wonder, for the exploration of spirit and the Divine. A sacred place. A hunger that science cannot fill;  a thirst that lies deep in our soul.

I believe exploring this spiritual dimension is key to our recovery from disordered eating and other mental health challenges.

I include an exploration of the spiritual dimension in my work (where invited) and in my model of eating disorder development and recovery. To view the model and see how I work with eating disorders, click here.

To watch a video exploring the Spiritual Dimension in Anorexia and Eating Disorder Recovery (included as an optional extra in the 4×4 Freedom Express), click here.

Questions and feedback welcome.

What we believe in our heart shapes the way we see and do life – which in turn shapes our experiences and beliefs. It can be a continuing circle for good, health and life promotion, or it can be a continuing cycle for negativity, low self esteem and poor relationships. We have different life experiences but I would argue that we all have a solid reason to believe in our unique and unshakeable self worth. This audio is stripped from the video teaching I do on this subject in the 4×4 Freedom Express. You can access the video here.

Questions and feedback welcome.

[email protected]

@mp_sparkes

The 4th component of each of the 4 keys (in the 4×4 Freedom Express) is a spiritual component and I believe it’s foundational to getting whole and FREE in any area of life. I adopt a Christian worldview in that I believe human beings (and the world we inhabit) are CREATED, and that influences everything I say and do. What about you? You don’t have to believe what I do but you do need to think about what you believe, particularly in regard to your personal worth and value because that will be infinitely relevant to your struggle with disordered eating.  Questions and feedback welcome.

[email protected] @mp_sparkes

Following on from the last episode (where I spoke about some of the factors I believe are giving rise to the increasing prevalence of eating disorders and disordered eating in our communities), I want to say a little more about the importance of the roots of our security going deep into a foundation of unconditional worth and value. We need to know this more than just as a mental construct. It needs to be fleshed out and experienced in our relationships. I encourage you to strengthen (nurture and invest into) those connections you have with people you value and who value you as the unique, interesting and whole person  you are. We are not designed to life alone. But I know (and I’m sure you do too) that there are seasons and passages in life where human comforts and security cannot be found and those passages have taught me to sink the roots of my security deep into the Love that created me and I’m so grateful for that relationship. But what about you?  I’d love to hear your thoughts. @mp_sparkes  [email protected]

Following up my last episode with SB, realise I got a bit feisty but I know that when a person is feeling too ashamed to reach out for human help they need to know at a deep gut level (deep in their soul) that they are OKAY as they are; that their reality is NOT too big or too broken for them to experience the liberating (& HEALING) truth and power of their loveability,  worthiness, and value. We’re all simple human beings, made of the same stuff and when we get beat up and broken by life events (or the ED voice), we can isolate and disconnect from the very human connections we need to make it through. We’re not designed to do life alone. We need one another. And when we’re battling, we need support. Shame will isolate and disconnect…this can be very dangerous. My message here and before is that their is healing power in both human and divine connection, but when we have lost our trust  in human connections, there is a divine connection we can dig the roots of our BEing into, and the experience of the love and acceptance found there, can hold us steady to sit in our skin and hold fast until a ‘safe’ human connection can be restored…’safe’ is in inverted commas, because in my view we’re all finite and flawed, well-intentioned but imperfect…so having that solid Rock of love and acceptance under our feet (in our WORTHINESS foundation) is key for all life and health. travel WELL.

The most powerful truth I know to help you get FREE from an eating disorder is to know (by experience) that you are loved, desired, of inestimable worth, chosen. You may never have experienced these things, and if you’ve been on the ED treadmill for a long time, the lies you’ve believed may blind your mind and block your heart from receiving these truths and taking in the nurture (physical and emotional) that may be around you! This is a very real experience for a person locked in battle with an ED. I know this first hand. I also know there is Truth and LOVE that can dismantle the lies and empower a person from within to recover their LIFE. This is a follow-up to my previous video to SB answering her question how to be free from the ED mindset. There IS a process involved but if you’re serious about getting free from an ED and you’re open to this, what I share here can supercharge your recovery and speed up the whole person approach I teach. Questions and feedback welcome. Michellesparkes.com @mp_sparkes

When you’re battling the lies, self rejection and self destructive behaviours that come with an eating disorder you need natural and super-natural (spiritual) help to overcome them. I’m talking about light, truth, power and love…experiencing these things as more than a mental construct. We need help on all levels – biopsychosociospiritual. This one was key for me in my recovery. I welcome your feedback and questions. michellesparkes.com @mp_sparkes

Please note this is part 2 – picking up from the previous audio post/podcast – due to technical issues. Please listen to pt 1 t if you are listening to this fresh.

When you’re battling the lies, self rejection and self destructive behaviours that come with an eating disorder you need natural and super-natural (spiritual) help to overcome them. I’m talking about light, truth, power and love…experiencing these things as more than a mental construct. We need help on all levels – biopsychosociospiritual. This one was key for me in my recovery. I welcome your feedback and questions. michellesparkes.com @mp_sparkes