What if the best leadership isn’t about having the answers, but about asking the questions that draw out wisdom, connection, and creativity from those around us? What if the most transformational moments in ministry happen not when we speak—but when we invite others to share, reflect, and dream with us?

In this episode, J.R. Briggs, author of The Art of Asking Better Questions discusses how asking great questions can open new possibilities for ministry leaders and lead to healthier, more effective leadership—for ourselves and our churches.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• JR Briggs describes how questions neurologically "hijack" our brains, engaging us much more deeply than simple information does.
• Questions foster both clarity and engagement, enabling deeper connection and creativity between people.
• JR Briggs identifies several cultural obstacles to asking questions, including conversational narcissism, a lack of curiosity, and the fear of awkwardness.
• Healthy questions play a crucial role in building connection and trust, especially in an age marked by loneliness.
• JR Briggs attributes his passion for asking questions to observing his father's genuine curiosity and care for others.
• The quality of your life depends on the quality of questions you ask yourself, God, and others.
• Deliberate practice, such as collecting good questions and “gaming” conversations, strengthens one’s ability to ask better questions.
• JR Briggs outlines four levels of questions: information, interaction, understanding, and transformation, each deepening relational impact.
• JR Briggs encourages leaders to move beyond transactional questions and pursue transformational conversations grounded in trust.
• Curiosity, wisdom, humility, and courage are essential virtues for asking effective questions.
• Markus Watson notes that leading with questions, rather than only answers, builds stronger relationships and trust as a pastor.
• Great leaders amplify others and cultivate deep curiosity, according to JR Briggs’s research and coaching experience.
• Questions create space for spiritual direction, hospitality, and genuine pastoral care within ministries.
• Slowing down and asking questions in tense moments, instead of having knee-jerk reactions, can lead to greater understanding and connection.
• Jesus used questions extensively—over 300 in the New Testament—to provoke thought, deepen engagement, and transform lives.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Kairos Partnerships
• Books mentioned:
  • The Art of Asking Better Questions, by J.R. Briggs
  • Canoeing the Mountains, by Tod Bolsinger
• Related episodes:
  • Episode 240: Leading with Wisdom from Above, with Uli Chi
  • Episode 270: Evangelism as Consolation, with Andrew Root
  • Episode 278: Preaching in Today’s Post-Christian World, with Mark Glanville

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Discover why leading in today’s church means listening deeply to people’s questions, griefs, and dreams—before ever stepping into the pulpit.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Mark Glanville in Ep. 278, Preaching in Today's Post-Christian World:

"People are walking to church now, not with the Bible under their arm, but with complex and genuine questions, with hopes, with dreams, with griefs on their heart, sometimes with a complex relationship with the Bible itself.”

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

1. Church leaders face the complexity of guiding people who bring diverse backgrounds, questions, hopes, dreams, and griefs.
2. Pastoral leaders prioritize listening to the congregation before offering teaching or guidance.
3. Leaders shape sermons and leadership approaches by engaging deeply with people’s real-life experiences and struggles.
4. Adaptive leadership requires creating community among people who differ in their spiritual journeys and relationships with scripture.
5. Effective preaching and leadership begin with meaningful relationships and conversations, not just expertise or information delivery.

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As ministry leaders, we often imagine that building trust is the ultimate goal—once we have it, the road to transformation should be clear. But what happens when trust alone isn’t enough? The truth is, trust is only the starting point. Moving beyond it requires us to invest our trust in ways that actually make change possible, even when it means taking risks and facing loss together.

In this episode, Tod Bolsinger, author of Invest in Transformation: Quit Relying on Trust, shares why trust is essential but insufficient for transformative leadership, how we can begin to discern our congregation’s unique calling, and what it takes to wisely invest trust as we guide people through the challenges of adaptive change.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Tod Bolsinger asserts that there is no transformation without trust.
• Leadership requires energizing a community toward its own transformation for the sake of a shared mission.
• People will not trust a leader to guide them through difficult change if they don’t trust them with current, familiar responsibilities.
• Leaders build trust through both trustworthy character and technical competence.
• Relational congruence means consistently showing up as the same person in all relationships, reinforcing trust.
• Even leaders of good character need to be experienced by others as trustworthy in daily interactions.
• Technical competence in areas such as scripture, soul care, and organizational skills is non-negotiable for pastoral leaders.
• Trust is the bank account that leaders must invest (and spend) when leading adaptive or transformational change.
• When transformation is pursued, trust levels may decrease as change creates uncertainty and resistance.
• Tod Bolsinger notes that maintaining trust means not squandering it on trivial matters, but instead strategically investing it in real transformation.
• The process of transformation begins with clarifying a congregation’s unique charism—its distinctive gift to the broader community.
• Charism emerges from actual values and stories, not from aspirational wish lists or debates about what a church “should” be.
• Discerning a congregation’s charism requires telling stories about the times they were most proud of the church.
• Identifying a congregation’s charism is followed by asking how it can address the pain points of the community, thus connecting internal giftedness with external needs.
• Transformation always involves loss, and truly adaptive change means some may leave, but new vibrancy and alignment with mission can develop as a result.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Church Leadership Institute
• Books mentioned:
  • Invest in Transformation: Quit Relying on Trust, by Tod Bolsinger
• Related episodes:
  • 230. The Power of an 8-word Mission Statement, with Tod Bolsinger
  • 264. Building a Future-Focused Church, with Kara Powell, Jake Mulder, and Raymond Chang
  • 272. Beyond Church Revitalization, with Josh Hayden

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Learn how transformational leaders can unlock real change by listening deeply to their neighborhoods—before making big plans for the future.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Josh Hayden in Ep. 272, Beyond Church Revitalization.

"Remissioning leaders have to do the steady work of exegeting the neighborhood, and doing the exegesis work of the church before they make big plans about what success or flourishing looks like for our church or our neighbors."

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Remissioning leaders exegete both their neighborhoods and their churches before making big plans for success or flourishing.
• Leaders develop a deep understanding of their community by listening, observing, and engaging with the local context.
• Churches resist imposing ideas by prioritizing understanding over assumptions when entering a neighborhood.
• Teams uncover the unique strengths and pain points of their neighborhoods by spending devoted time within them.
• Faith communities help neighborhoods flourish when they build connections and respond to local needs in the name of Jesus.

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Why is it that so many ministry leaders—people called to reflect Christ’s love—so often end up burned out, disillusioned, or driven by power and platform instead of humility and service? It’s heartbreaking when church leadership doesn’t “smell like the gospel,” and instead resembles the very systems of profit and self-promotion it should prophetically resist.

In this episode, Jason Jensen, Vice President of Spiritual Foundations for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and author of Formed to Lead, unpacks what true spiritual formation for leaders looks like, how to hold humility and faith in tension, and how suffering and the wilderness can become gifts in our ministry.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Jason Jensen observes that much leadership in the church fails to reflect the gospel and often focuses on power, platform, or profit.
• Large numbers of Christian leaders experience burnout or moral, character, or spiritual failure, leading to disillusionment among younger generations.
• Jason Jensen asserts that the Gospel of Luke presents a radically different, subversive vision of leadership, centering the vulnerable and overlooked.
• Leadership in God’s kingdom includes all people, from parents to presidents, and turns conventional power dynamics upside down.
• Christian leadership requires holding together the paradox of tender humility and bold faith.
• Jason Jensen describes the spiritual formation of a leader as a lifelong, iterative process marked by failure, repentance, and receiving the love of God.
• Embracing wilderness seasons—times of pain, failure, or dryness—is essential for spiritual growth and character development.
• Markus Watson invites Jason Jensen to share from personal experience how suffering shaped his faith and leadership, prompting stories of transformation after injury and failure.
• Experiencing grief, loss, and mistakes can be some of the most formative experiences for a leader’s development and empathy.
• Depth and authenticity in leadership are formed by embracing—not bypassing—suffering and wilderness experiences.
• Jason Jensen highlights Steve Hayner’s example of leadership, specifically his ability to listen well, include others, and help others feel loved and safe.
• Steve Hayner practiced “expansive discourse” and adaptive leadership, carrying pain with others and facilitating mutual learning rather than judgment.
• Sustainable organizational change requires time, patience, and leaders who bring everyone to the table and foster shared purpose.
• Offering one’s life—and even one’s death—as a gift to God and others represents the culmination of a spiritual journey, embodying humility, sacrifice, and openness.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Jason Jensen:
  • formedtolead.com
  • Instagram
  • X
  • Facebook
• Books mentioned:
  • Formed to Lead, by Jason Jensen
• Related episodes:
  • 244. Finding Strength in Desperation, with Mandy Smith

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Discover why real transformation happens when leaders have the courage to journey with people into their sorrow and bring the hope of Christ to the places of deepest pain.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Andrew Root in Ep. 270, Evangelism as Consolation:

"What we really need, what people yearn for, is someone who will journey with them into their sorrow and to proclaim and witness to a Jesus Christ who is present in sorrow."

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Leaders embody the gospel by journeying with people into their pain and sorrow.
• Churches bring transformation by listening to and addressing the pain of their neighbors.
• Faithful leadership means grieving alongside others while holding on to hope.
• Evangelism becomes good news when we accompany others in their sorrow, not just share inspiring visions.
• Congregations foster trust and transformation by walking with people through loss and change.

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The COVID-19 crisis pushed churches to reimagine everything from Sunday worship to committee meetings, often thrusting them onto unfamiliar digital ground. Navigating livestreams, Zoom calls, and online communion, ministry leaders have had to ask: What does it mean to truly be the body of Christ in a hybrid or even fully online world?

In this episode, Michael Huerter, author of The Hybrid Congregation, talks about the theological and practical implications of digital ministry, how technology is shaping Christian community today, and what it looks like to do incarnational ministry in a time when “embodiment” often includes both physical and digital presence.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Michael Huerter identifies the technological revolution as a challenge that forces churches to quickly adapt, especially accelerated by the COVID-19 pandemic.
• Churches adapted rapidly to online worship out of necessity, often improvising by streaming or recording services for the first time.
• Michael Huerter describes the struggle of clergy to reflect theologically about worship changes while managing weekly ministry demands.
• The shift to online ministry required pastors to find new ways to foster belonging and community amid isolation.
• Integrating online technology into church life raises theological questions but can also expand accessibility and connection.
• Michael Huerter explains that congregations faced difficult questions around sacraments, like communion, during virtual services and responded differently based on tradition.
• Worship communities discovered that virtual meetings, such as board meetings and Bible studies, created new conveniences and altered expectations for gathering together.
• Online ministry allows for broader participation, particularly for those unable to attend in person due to distance, weather, or health.
• Michael Huerter discusses the tension between the benefits of hybrid models and the losses in personal connection that come from shifting meetings and worship online.
• Participating in both physical and online ministry offers unique strengths and limitations in forming authentic community.
• The theological call to be incarnational does not require rejecting technology; rather, ministry can thoughtfully incorporate digital tools as part of discipleship.
• Michael Huerter pushes back against the idea that digital practices conflict with incarnational theology, highlighting historical uses of technology in church growth.
• Passive participation in online worship, such as listening to music or liturgy, still engages the body and spirit and remains spiritually meaningful.
• Michael Huerter urges pastors to approach technology with a people-first mindset, focusing on community needs rather than pursuing reach or production value for its own sake.
• Discernment, curiosity, and pastoral care are key for churches navigating ongoing technological changes and competing values in ministry.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Books mentioned:
  • The Hybrid Congregation, by Michael Huerter
• 131: Spiritual Leadership in the Digital Space, with Laura Murray

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Discover how stepping into discomfort and crossing borders—literal and metaphorical—can transform you and your leadership in ways you never imagined.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Seth Clark in Ep. 268, Borderless Faith:

“Somehow there is this thing happening at the border that I get to participate in, that is making a difference and reminding people of God's love and hopefully drawing them into God's love in a new way.”

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Leaders grow when they lean into uncomfortable situations outside their comfort zones.
• People foster change by entering new spaces with curiosity and a learner’s mindset.
• Resistance offers leaders the opportunity to ask what others are trying to protect.
• Leaders build relationships when they come alongside those who push back.
• Ministry participants rediscover God’s love by engaging in boundary-crossing work.

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Ministry can stir up all kinds of feelings, especially when we’re dealing with conflict, with grief, with change. And the better we understand what’s happening beneath the surface, the better we can lead ourselves—and our people—more thoughtfully and more effectively.

In this episode, I’m speaking with Dr. Audrey Davidheiser, a licensed psychologist and the author of Grieving Wholeheartedly. Audrey helps us understand something called Internal Family Systems—IFS—a powerful way of thinking about our inner world and all those “parts” of us that can get in the way of effective leadership.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Audrey Davidheiser explains what drew her to Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.
• Internal Family Systems is a psychological model that views people as having multiple internal "parts."
• Parts of yourself often express themselves in day-to-day decisions, sometimes even in conflict with each other.
• Markus Watson clarifies that having "parts" is different from dissociative identity disorder or multiple personalities.
• Audrey Davidheiser explains the difference between parts in IFS and the rigid, unaware system found in Dissociative Identity Disorder.
• Internal Family Systems builds on the foundation of family systems theory, adapting it to the internal world.
• Inside everyone are parts that take on different roles, often formed in response to significant experiences, such as trauma or relational wounds.
• Markus Watson illustrates the concept with the example of feeling different internal responses to everyday situations like going to a late-night movie.
• Every person has both helpful and challenging internal parts, such as critics, achievers, or comfort-seekers, and these parts influence behavior.
• Audrey Davidheiser introduces three types of parts in IFS: exiles (hurt parts), managers (protective parts), and firefighters (distracting/soothing parts).
• Parts are not inherently bad; even when their actions are destructive, they are typically trying to protect us or relieve pain.
• Markus Watson inquires about the relationship between sin and IFS, prompting Audrey Davidheiser to articulate how parts can miss the mark despite good intentions.
• Pastors can benefit from understanding their own internal parts, especially when reacting to challenging questions or situations in ministry.
• Audrey Davidheiser suggests the practice of being "unblended"—letting the true Self, rather than an emotional part, lead when responding to others.
• Leaders who operate from their "Self" (instead of from a part) can foster healthier responses and guide their communities through change with greater empathy and wisdom.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Audrey Davidheiser
  • Aim For Breakthrough website
• Books mentioned:
  • Grieving Wholeheartedly, by Audrey Davidheiser
• Related Episodes:
  • 262: From Fired to Flourishing, with Chuck DeGroat
  • 254: Endless Expectations and Emotional Exhaustion

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Learn how keeping “the main thing the main thing” can transform your church’s mission, focus your decisions, and unite your community as one body in Christ.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Terry A. Smith in Ep. 266, The Church as Shalom Maker:

"I work so hard to make sure that we keep the main thing the main thing, that we don't get caught up in things that keep us from who we are supposed to be as one body in Christ."

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Leaders clarify the main purpose by engaging in candid conversations about mission.
• Churches discern their mission by identifying who they are called to reach and impact.
• Teams make decisions more effectively when their mission and values are clearly defined.
• Leaders recognize that clarity about core values prepares organizations for necessary change.
• Focusing on the main thing helps communities avoid distractions from their calling as one body in Christ.

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