Spoilerpiece Theatre

It’s a tangent kinda night at Spoilerpiece! We open with a lengthy discussion of the new STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS trailer. Evan and Kris are on board. Dave has doubts (to say the least). Kris points out that Evan and Dave are the kinds of guys who would sit in the back of the classroom, pass notes, and crack jokes. There’s a lot of singing in this episode, and then the guys get to TRUE STORY, the not-great movie starring Jonah Hill and James Franco. Finally, it’s onto HORROR! Kris and Dave saw UNFRIENDED, and it’s way more fun than it should be.

"AM I ACTING IRRATIONALLY?" shouts Dave after a long anti-Nicholas Sparks rant. It's an epic episode this week, kids. Kris admits he didn't turn to look at the people behind him at the screening of the Sparks adaptation THE LONGEST RIDE because "I didn't want them to get mad in my face." Evan and Dave dip in Scientological waters when they discuss GOING CLEAR, and Dave wraps it up with MERCHANTS OF DOUBT, the documentary about climate change deniers. There are a million tangents this week, including a lengthy discussion of Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting choices, HOT FUZZ, and why SPACED wouldn't work in the U.S.

“AM I ACTING IRRATIONALLY?” shouts Dave after a long anti-Nicholas Sparks rant. It’s an epic episode this week, kids. Kris admits he didn’t turn to look at the people behind him at the screening of the Sparks adaptation THE LONGEST RIDE because “I didn’t want them to get mad in my face.” Evan and Dave dip in Scientological waters when they discuss GOING CLEAR, and Dave wraps it up with MERCHANTS OF DOUBT, the documentary about climate change deniers. There are a million tangents this week, including a lengthy discussion of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s acting choices, HOT FUZZ, and why SPACED wouldn’t work in the U.S.

Vin Diesel said FURIOUS 7 should win Best Picture if the Oscars want to be relevant. Hey, NOTHING could make the Oscars relevant, not even THIS KICK-ASS PIECE OF AWESOME MOVIE. Holy crap, is it amazing. It's not FAST & FURIOUS 6, but it's close. Also on the show, Dave shows off his love for the German accent when Evan talks about WOMAN IN GOLD, and Kris regales us with stories of DER SAMURAI and Passover cake. Plus, there's a Steve Martin moment or two at the top.

Vin Diesel said FURIOUS 7 should win Best Picture if the Oscars want to be relevant. Hey, NOTHING could make the Oscars relevant, not even THIS KICK-ASS PIECE OF AWESOME MOVIE. Holy crap, is it amazing. It’s not FAST & FURIOUS 6, but it’s close. Also on the show, Dave shows off his love for the German accent when Evan talks about WOMAN IN GOLD, and Kris regales us with stories of DER SAMURAI and Passover cake. Plus, there’s a Steve Martin moment or two at the top.

Today is a good day to die on Spoilerpiece. We spend some time wondering what a phone call from Liam Neeson would be like. Then we delve into the odd comic sensibilities of GET HARD, and Evan brings a deeper level of consideration to it than Dave and Kris thought possible. (How is Evan not a Pulitzer-nominated critic?) Kris gives everyone the lowdown on the Boston Underground Film Festival, which, as of publication, is still going on (it concludes March 29). Bonus! A great story about Udo Kier.

Today is a good day to die on Spoilerpiece. We spend some time wondering what a phone call from Liam Neeson would be like. Then we delve into the odd comic sensibilities of GET HARD, and Evan brings a deeper level of consideration to it than Dave and Kris thought possible. (How is Evan not a Pulitzer-nominated critic?) Kris gives everyone the lowdown on the Boston Underground Film Festival, which, as of publication, is still going on (it concludes March 29). Bonus! A great story about Udo Kier.

"He marries her vindictively? Let's analyze that statement." In what kind of film does someone get married vindictively? In a film like THE GUNMAN (or in this case, specifically THE GUNMAN). Kris hated it so much he could barely get through spoilerpiecing it for Dave and Evan. They didn't do much better with INSURGENT; Evan liked it. Dave didn't. It's YA action, adventure, and romance at its most bland (that's what Dave thinks, anyway). And Kris touches briefly on Godard's GOODBYE TO LANGUAGE. Tangents this week include reality TV shows that we wish existed; old-guy-killin' movies; Dave's dislike of Ray Winstone performances; the old, fat villain in "Commando"; and we break down what Kris means when he says, "Sean Penn has made movies before?"

“He marries her vindictively? Let’s analyze that statement.” In what kind of film does someone get married vindictively? In a film like THE GUNMAN (or in this case, specifically THE GUNMAN). Kris hated it so much he could barely get through spoilerpiecing it for Dave and Evan. They didn’t do much better with INSURGENT; Evan liked it. Dave didn’t. It’s YA action, adventure, and romance at its most bland (that’s what Dave thinks, anyway). And Kris touches briefly on Godard’s GOODBYE TO LANGUAGE. Tangents this week include reality TV shows that we wish existed; old-guy-killin’ movies; Dave’s dislike of Ray Winstone performances; the old, fat villain in “Commando”; and we break down what Kris means when he says, “Sean Penn has made movies before?”

This week's bullshit segment is brought to you by: horse shit. We all wonder how the special effects guys in BACK TO THE FUTURE III made the manure look so real, and then Dave points out something that Kris never noticed in the first film. Kris is under the weather, but he soldiers through as we discuss RUN ALL NIGHT, CINDERELLA, and IT FOLLOWS. Dave heaps some hate on RUN ALL NIGHT and other Liam Neeson films that piss him off. He mixes up who is Danny and who is Mike in the movie, but it doesn't matter. All he knows is that one looks like a low rent, Ryan Gosling. Kris gets inspired to start a fairy tale metal band before he and Dave talk about how surprised they are by all the praise CINDERELLA is getting. Their description of it reminds Evan of a SIMPSONS reference. Finally, Evan and Kris talk about how creeped out they were while watching the horror flick IT FOLLOWS. Neither of them scare easily, so you know it has to be good.