Spoiling Ourselves

Well Friends and Relatives, we've finally done it. The much hyped, highly not-anticipated 69th episode of Spoiling Ourselves. We hope you're proud of us because this week we watched Masters of Sex, the Sexiest Show on Television (depending on who you ask). Sam, Jack, and Lia give CJ the sex talk, we all open up about the weird things our bodies do during sex, and we even find time to talk about Masters of Sex. Did William Masters and Virginia Johnson invent 69ing? No. But also. Nice.

This week, we watched the recently-ended New Girl, a show guitar-legend PRINCE apparently loved very dearly! We're getting into the Serinda Swan-ing of Coach, creating our own versions of drinking game True American, and flashing forward to our own entwined futures (Jack's involves a harem full of clones). Is this show as good as Prince thought it was? Probably! We wouldn't know - we only watched the first and last episodes. Such is our privilege and our curse.

This week on Spoiling Ourselves, we watched Psych! We'll cover what we would do with Sherlock Holmes-style investigatory powers (CJ would be a no-nonsense manager of half a dozen McDonalds in a fictional town in Wisconsin), detail Sam's 18 separate, secret identities, and take an almost unbearably long detour into a new segment called Jack's Wrestling Corner. Quick, close your eyes! How many hats are in the room?!

On a special Holiday (you know the one...) episode of Spoiling Ourselves, your hosts decide to go camping but then remember they need to record an episode about hit Showtime program Weeds! A main character from the pilot was only ever in one other episode, which happened to be the finale, so he was our ideal character. Plus, a fairly weird round of Who Fuck Who and a globetrotting, animal racing adventure! Smoke it if you got it!

This week, your hosts are joined by mysterious stranger and Twitter celebrity Steve Dyer as they talk about Graceland, a USA Network drama about undercover federal agents all living together in a beachfront mansion in California. They go surfing exactly one time, and it takes up roughly 40% of the pilot, so just know that that's the kind of show you're getting in to. We compare the 6 Graceland housemates to the 6 friends, Steve is bad at who fuck who, but he makes up for it with a rocking new sex position for you all to try out.

This week on Spoiling Ourselves, Sam is replaced by friend of the show Ben Meyerson in a shocking twist straight out of a soap opera. A soap opera like ABC’s Revenge, perhaps?! We do our best to make sense of a TV show ostensibly based on The Count of Monte Cristo, one where Courtney Love plays an assassin named White Gold and the character who gets “killed” in the first episode sticks around for FOUR seasons to get in some preemo fucking. Plus: Painters Glue! The only glue strong enough to stick to painters!!!

*NOTE* - if you downloaded this ep earlier today, you may have noticed some technical difficulties. Plz redownload, this has been fixed!

This week on Spoiling Ourselves, we watched Eureka, a Syfy show about a secret government town full of geniuses. This episode is brought to you by time buttholes and EELS!

We're late, we're sorry, but LISTEN! We watched Sailor Moon, and we're here to give you our DEFINITIVE TAKE on one of life's most haunting, unanswered questions: SUBS OR DUBS?

This week on Spoiling Ourselves, we welcome Friend of the Show Kurt Handsomehat for a scintillating conversation about the incredibly formulaic television show Breakout Kings. You know that actor from Westworld who was also on House of Cards? The guy who plays Liam McPoyle on It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Well his name is Jimmi Simpson and he was somehow the star of this ensemble show about capturing escaped convicts. We explore the extended Breakout Kings TV universe, plus we find out which Man of the Sea has been a Flat Stanley this whole time!

Would you believe that this week's epic drama, DARK ANGEL:
-aired concurrently, in the SAME TIME SLOT, with last week's similarly-named show, ANGEL
-was created by JAMES CAMERON, and
-starred JESSICA ALBA in her breakout role as a super soldier genetically enhanced with CAT DNA?!!

We can, because we watched the first and last episodes. All 150 minutes of them, in fact!

Tune in to hear all about this impossible-to-find-online, Producers-style scam of a show that certainly doesn't look like it took 10 million dollars to create! James Cameron and Jessica Alba do NOT want anyone to find this show, and honestly neither do we!