We have two and a half words for you: Catherine Zeta-Jones. And then a few more: Owen Wilson saying, “Wow.” If neither of those caught your attention, we’re just not sure how else to sell you on The Haunting — but as another take on Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House, this haunted mansion movie really takes it there with the strange and sinister set pieces. On a new Spooky Tuesday, we’re thirsting after CZJ, practicing our Owen Wilson impressions, and trying desperately to find a single thread of logic running through this film. 

The Blood Spattered Bride (1972) implies in the title alone that it’s got everything we could want in a movie: fake blood, a man-eater, and two brides. What more could the Spooky Tuesday girlies ask for? Full bush representation? Don’t worry, this film has that too, and it’s as ‘70s as you’d expect. A take on the classic Carmilla tale, The Blood Spattered Bride delivers when it comes to vampirism, lesbianism, and incredible vintage fashion. 

Happy Pride, Spookies!!! We’re kicking off the month by featuring films that couldn’t get much gayer because they actually *are* gay — and we’re starting with Jennifer’s Body, one of the most perfect and iconic films of all time. The world still needs to deliver a serious apology to Karyn Kusama, Diablo Cody, Megan Fox, and Amanda Seyfried, but in the meantime, our latest episode of Spooky Tuesday will serve as the love letter it needs and deserves. 

Interested in the weirdest class conscious, body horror flick you’ve probably never heard of??? This week, we’re taking on Society, a 1989 film from Brian Yuzna about a teenage boy growing up in a family he can’t quite relate to. But it’s not just a movie about feeling out of place, trusting your gut, and eating the rich, it’s also packed with front butt moments, gross red goo, and tiny blonde hairballs. There’s a LOT to unpack here — and we’re doing it all on a new Spooky Tuesday.

Does our episode title not say it all? Idris Elba is in Prom Night (2008), and we’re talking about that incredible piece of casting and all the rest on a new episode of Spooky Tuesday. Also starring Brittany Snow, Jason from Friday Night Lights, Terri from Glee, Kellan Lutz from Stick It, and Ming-Na Wen from Mulan, it has a fairly stacked crew — which might be all that it has going for it depending on who you ask. Dubbed a “baby slasher” by our hosts and given a PG-13 rating, it may or may not deliver on the scares, but it definitely doesn’t deliver on the fake blood front.

Talk about a movie that’ll give you bad dreams! On a new Spooky Tuesday, we’re talking about Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), the film that launched Johnny Depp’s career, introduced us to Fred Kreuger himself, and (probably) inspired Home Alone. It’s also got plenty of CLEAR references to Scream — or vice versa if you don’t subscribe to that whole time-is-a-flat-circle concept. As we break down this Wes Craven classic, we’re discussing all things crop tops, long arms, and LA filming locations. 

Are you ~down to clown~ with Ma (2019)? On a new Spooky Tuesday, we’re taking on the Octavia Spencer original, a must-see if only because it is the first film we’ve covered that delivers the nudity we deserve: Luke Evans’ dick. Or possibly a fake dick? We’re investigating that question and more as we weigh in on the movie that launched a thousand memes. 

What is there to say about The Boy (2016) that Chelsea could possibly write that Monica and Sydney would not eviscerate her for? On a new episode of Spooky Tuesday, things get tense as our hosts battle it out over the last Doll Month movie. Featuring a porcelain doll named Brahms, the lost art of reading chewing gum, an incredible sturdy towel situation, and an iconic haunted house out in the middle of nowhere, The Boy has a lot going for it — but opinions differ on whether it delivers. 

It’s very possibly one of the fundamental laws of physics that all ventriloquist dummies must turn the creep factor up to 11, but Fats takes it to a whole new level in Magic (1978). In a new episode of Spooky Tuesday, Doll Month continues as we finally explore one of life’s greatest mysteries: Was Anthony Hopkins ever a young person? His age in this movie may be solidly in the middle, but his performance is off the charts.

Watch your back, Chucky — there’s a new haunted toy in town! This week’s installment of Doll Month is all about Annabelle: Creation (2017), and it just might be the best thing to come out of the Conjuring Cinematic Universe. In our latest episode, we’re unpacking the origin story and doing the math to see just how it stacks up against the film we’ve already covered. Maybe Annabelle can help out with her new knowledge of long division?