State Shifters

SSS 178: The Relationship Skill Most Men Never Develop (Responsiveness vs Reactivity)


Listen Later

The Relationship Skills Men Forget When Apart From Their Partner


Apply to work with me 👉🏼 https://bit.ly/3HoAy5T


Access my FREE 5-Day Email Course. Each day, you'll get one specific, actionable shift that creates immediate results. Don't miss this - sign up now: https://state-shifters.webflow.io/email-course?


What's up legends? Just landed back in Lisbon after 5 weeks apart from Amanda, and I've had some eye-opening realizations about the relationship skills men often neglect - including myself. This podcast breaks down what I rediscovered about leading in relationships when you've been out of practice.

Walking through beautiful Lisbon to meet Amanda, I'm reflecting on how even after years of coaching men on relationships, I found myself slipping back into old reactive patterns within days of being reunited. The muscle of relationship leadership had gone weak from disuse.

Here's what I learned:

✔️ The #1 skill men must master: responsiveness over reactiveness

✔️ Why your subconscious defaults to familiar defensive patterns

✔️ How to catch yourself before damaging her nervous system

✔️ The weekly feedback process that transforms relationships

✔️ Why micro-moments of love matter more than grand gestures

✔️ When and how to give your partner constructive feedback


Being apart from your partner - whether through travel, work, or just getting complacent - weakens the relationship muscle. You forget the extra level of awareness and attentiveness needed around communication, emotional needs, and daily connection. Then old patterns may start to resurface:

✔️Defensiveness when she brings up concerns

✔️Not speaking emotions and projecting anger instead

✔️Reacting from energetic overwhelm rather than conscious choice

✔️Forgetting to notice what she needs in specific moments


The solution is building responsiveness. While responsiveness is crucial, you also need to address things that don't feel right. Don't withhold frustration - it stacks up and explodes later.

Learn to say:

"How you communicated that felt disconnecting in my body. I need more grace/cooperation/softness. Would you be willing to try this approach instead?"

You can only give love to the level you're willing to receive it. If you're not nourishing yourself, you can't creatively love your partner.

This is ongoing work requiring constant refinement, contemplation, and mindfulness. Get complacent, and your subconscious defaults to familiar defensive patterns.


Connect with me:

📸 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/jordancandlish01/

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/JordanCandlish

📱 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jordancandlish01

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jordancandlish01


ABOUT ME

Jordan Candlish is a men's coach, speaker, and creator behind the Embodied Entrepreneur. A former semi-pro soccer player turned corporate escapee, Jordan helps high-performing men reconnect with purpose, master their emotions, and build a life that actually feels good—not just looks good on paper. His content blends mindset, embodiment, and spiritual depth to help men lead with heart, not just hustle.

Alternative Titles:

  • Controlling Your Reactivity | Q & A Eckhart Tolle
  • How Do I Keep From Being Triggered? with Eckhart Tolle
  • How to Be Less Emotionally Reactive: Black and White Thinking
  • The #1 Relationship Skill Every Man Must Master (Responsiveness vs Reactiveness)
  • stop being REACTIVE: master your EMOTIONS by becoming RESPONSIVE instead

#RelationshipSkills #LongDistanceRelationship #RelationshipAdvice #MensRelationshipAdvice #RelationshipLeadership #MasculineLeadership #RelationshipCoaching #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipCommunication #EmotionalIntelligence #MensWork #RelationshipGrowth #CouplesCoaching #RelationshipTips #IntimateRelationships #RelationshipFoundations #MensDevelopment #ConsciousRelationships #RelationshipGoals #LoveLanguage

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

State ShiftersBy Jordan Candlish

  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5

5

9 ratings


More shows like State Shifters

View all
The Joe Rogan Experience by Joe Rogan

The Joe Rogan Experience

228,421 Listeners

The Dr. Hyman Show by Dr. Mark Hyman

The Dr. Hyman Show

9,255 Listeners

Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami by Kim Anami

Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami

1,465 Listeners

On Purpose with Jay Shetty by iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

27,757 Listeners

Huberman Lab by Scicomm Media

Huberman Lab

29,212 Listeners

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown by Mayim Bialik

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown

5,339 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

20,417 Listeners

I Wish You Knew by Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov

I Wish You Knew

50 Listeners

The Sacred Giggle by ShiShi

The Sacred Giggle

0 Listeners

High Vibes Lifestyle Podcast by Jodi

High Vibes Lifestyle Podcast

2 Listeners