Stack'n'Days: Sober Journeys from Black, Brown and other voices of color.

In this episode of the Stack’n’Days Podcast, Ray is joined by certified trauma recovery coach, Priscilla Maria Guitérrez. Priscilla shares her journey with alcoholism and discusses her work helping others overcome trauma and achieve their goals. Priscilla's story highlights the impact of generational trauma on individuals and how it can manifest in unexpected ways.

Ray and Priscilla discuss the impact of generational trauma and how it can manifest in unexpected ways and  the importance of culturally-informed recovery programs.

Priscilla's Background

Priscilla works with clients to achieve their goals with a trauma-informed lens, particularly those from minority backgrounds who face limiting beliefs due to their culture. She shares how her relationship with alcohol was characterized by binge drinking between ages 17 and 20, after which she abruptly stopped. Priscilla's parents, uncles, and aunts did not visibly consume alcohol due to negative examples set by their alcoholic fathers and grandfathers. Priscilla's mother grew up in a household that doubled as a bar and suffered trauma from seeing drunk men behave badly.

Exploring Alcohol Abuse in Priscilla's Family

Despite the examples set by their family, Priscilla and her brother both developed alcohol substance abuse issues. Priscilla believes that her alcohol abuse was a coping mechanism for unresolved trauma from childhood, while her brother's alcohol abuse was a way to cope with the pressure of being a first-generation college student and dealing with the expectations set by being the only male in their family.

Growing up with Cultural Expectations and Family Trauma

Priscilla discusses her upbringing in a Latino family and how cultural expectations impacted her relationship with her brother. She shares how her brother required more attention from their parents, which made her feel like she was in the background. Priscilla talks about being sent to a wilderness program in Utah as a preventative measure after her brother struggled with addiction. The lack of diversity in the program made it challenging for Priscilla to be herself. 

Struggling with Alcoholism in College

Priscilla shares that she quit one of the alcohol treatment programs she was in because she wanted to go back to school. She couldn't imagine not graduating on time. However, her drinking intensified and put her in dangerous situations. She blacked out at a party and this led to her reflecting on the fact that this was not the first dangerous situation she had put herself in. Her childhood trauma had always given her rape anxiety, and this event became the last straw for her.

The Long-term Consequences of Untreated Trauma and Addiction

Priscilla shares how her untreated trauma and addiction impacted her life and relationships. Priscilla highlights the importance of safe spaces for people of color to share their experiences and the need for recovery programs that are inclusive and understanding of cultural differences.

Book recommendations

Priscilla shares some book recommendations that have helped her better understand generational trauma. 

Priscilla’s details

Website: www.priscillamaria.com

Instagram: @cyclebreakercoach

In episode 6 of the Stack’n’Days Podcast host Ray interviews runner, digital creator and sobriety advocate Tommie Runz. Tommy shares his story of battling alcoholism, which began in 2002 when he was in high school quickly spiraled out of control. Tommie was soon struggling with his identity and his relationship with alcohol. 

He talks to Ray about the moment he had his first drink and how it felt like freedom from the feelings of not belonging and not being good enough. They also discuss his path to sobriety, the tools that helped him and the value of honesty and vulnerability in his life now. 

Tommie's recovery

In 2017 Tommie chose sobriety. His mother knew something was wrong and encouraged him to talk to a professional. This was a turning point for him. However, it wasn’t easy. Tommie talks about how everything got worse from a mental health standpoint and how he felt like he had to start from scratch with his life. He was worried about how he was going to cope without alcohol and how he was going to find a new identity. 

The journey to running

Tommy was determined to find a new identity and purpose in life. He decided to try running and it was the best decision he ever made. He found a sense of freedom and peace while running and it was the first time in a long time that he felt truly alive. He started to make progress in his recovery and he was able to find a new sense of self. 

Tools that helped Tommie

Running is just one of the tools that helped Tommie in his recovery. He also found support from his family and friends and was able to talk to them about his struggles. 

Therapy became an important piece of the puzzle and Tommie was able to work through some of his issues. He believes that if you take away the substance you still have the same issues so dealing with these issues at the core is key to a complete recovery. 

Finally, Tommy found support from the recovery community and was able to connect with others who were in similar situations. Everyone was white at the first AA meeting he went to, but Tommie started to realize that although they had different experiences to him, their stories were so similar and he felt comfortable in the group. 

Tommie’s info 

Tommie is on Instagram or you can visit his website. 

See alcohol for what it truly is: poison! On this week’s Stackin' Days podcast Ray speaks to Keith Williamson, sober advocate and influencer. Keith speaks about the mindset shifts and lifestyle shifts that led to him cutting alcohol out of his life allowing him to be more present for the important family moments he really didn't want to miss out on.

Keith feels he didn't follow a traditional route to recovery but shares the tools and tricks that helped him.

Keith Williamson was born and raised in a two-parent working-class family home. He was the youngest of four and grew up seeing his mother and two of his three siblings experiencing their own challenges with alcohol.

Keith started out smoking weed in his senior year of high school, as he was very shy and wanted to fit in with the “cool kids”. After he graduated, he stopped smoking and actually waited until he was 21 to start drinking. He visited local bars with his friends to experiment with different drinks and find his drink of choice. He found that wine tasted like shoe polish, liquor tasted like gasoline, and mixed drinks gave him a stomachache. He ended up falling in love with beer and it became his drink of choice. Once he found this drink of choice one might say “the rest is history”.

Keith had two stints with sobriety. The first time was about eight years ago and was motivated by his desire to get rid of his beer belly and get his six-pack back. He was doing great at first, but as time went by, he started to feel like he was depriving himself of a good time and something that would help him cope with the stresses of life. After four months of sobriety, he started drinking beer again.

A couple of years later, he met the woman who would become his wife. They had a brief courtship and welcomed a baby girl into the world in 2017. His wife knew he loved to drink beer but he kept the extent of his drinking secret. However, eventually, he realized that he had to make a change if he wanted to be the husband and father he had always dreamed of being.

Keith decided to take a different approach to sobriety this time and did not attend any 12-step program. He educated himself on the harms alcohol really causes in the body. This was a huge realisation for Keith and he couldn’t believe he had been putting something so toxic in his body.

He also started challenging himself to find comfort in discomfort and to face his fears. He started by taking daily cold showers then started doing public speaking which was one of his fears. He also worked on his fears of heights and water.

Keith felt that with this new found purpose and mindset alcohol no longer fitted into his life.

Keith speaks a lot about how alcohol is normalised all around us in pop culture. He mentions Jamie Foxx’s song “Blame it (on the alcohol)” and the country song “Ain't Nothin' That A Beer Can't Fix”.

Growing up watching wrestling Keith thought Stone Cold Steve Austin was so cool. He could always come into the ring and drink a can of beer and that made Keith want to do the same when he was older.

He also speaks about the superbowl and how so many people feel they need to drink to enjoy it. He says this isn’t true and really all you need is “the audacity to believe in yourself”.

Keith is active on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and YouTube.

On today's episode of the Stackin' Days Podcast, host Ray is joined by Fawna Asfaw, a powerhouse in the sobriety space. Fawna is an author, recovery coach, addiction counselor, and creator of many things in the sobriety community. She is the author of Sober Daughter, a time capsule piece of what it looks like to understand addiction, go through addiction, and get to the other side. Fawna believes that getting sober is one of the most transformational shifts people can make.

Fawna is from Los Angeles, California and was born to an immigrant father from Ethiopia and an African-American mother. She was raised with her father's traditional Ethiopian culture and values. From a young age, Fawna had big emotions and felt things intensely. She learned how to escape into her own world and sought out ways to numb her feelings.

Alcohol provided this escape for her from the time she tried her first drink at 16. It provided her with comfort as she nursed her terminally ill father, while grieving his death and then when the situation repeated itself with her mother becoming terminally ill. After her mother passed away her drinking intensified as she no longer felt a reason to be present at all.

Fawna eventually found her way to sobriety and has been alcohol-free since September 2021. She believes that sobriety is a huge sacrifice that yields big rewards and is passionate about helping others get through their own sobriety goals.

Fawna is obsessed with tools and believes that they are what makes or breaks the sobriety journey. She encourages people to find the language to express their feelings and to seek out the support of a trained professional for guidance.

If you want to learn more about Fawna her book Sober Daughter is available in physical and e-book, and comes highly recommended by Ray.

You can also check out her website, Tiktok, Instagram and Facebook.

On episode 2 of the Stack’n’Days podcast Ray is joined by life coach and sober advocate Jessica Dueñas. She speaks to Ray about her own journey to sobriety and shares some practical steps for those who are thinking about quitting drinking. She also shares some important insight into what it can be like navigating healthcare services as a person of color.

Jessica Duenas is a first-generation American with a Cuban father and a Puerto Rican mother. Growing up, she had stereotypical, strict immigrant parents. Jessica always followed the rules and did well in school. However, she developed the habit of hiding food and eating in secret due to being body shamed at home for being overweight.

Jessica studied to become a teacher. In college she found the drinking culture there allowed her to binge drink as much as she wanted, a habit that replaced the secret eating.

As an adult, Jessica enjoyed happy hour after work until someone commented on her speed of drinking. This led her to start drinking more in private. When she got married she was always careful when drinking with her husband to avoid conflict. After getting divorced, she drank as much as she wanted, consuming a fifth of alcohol per day. This led to alcoholic liver disease, high belly fat, the shakes, and eventually rehab.

Jessica's family had a history of drinking problems, but her mother dismissed them as "drunks." Jessica knew that being a "drunk" was considered very bad. In November 2020, she decided to speak openly about her experiences and accept help, going against the shame that she was taught.

Jessica's approach to sobriety involved quitting with the help of medical assistance and experts, as quitting abruptly can be dangerous for those who are dependent. She used to go to AA but found that it no longer worked for her. Instead she turned to therapy, reading self-help books, meditation, journaling, learning about nutrition, and movement. She also started a blog, Bottomless to Sober, to share other people's stories of sobriety.

Some books Jessica recommends are The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle.  

Jessica's blog was inspired by her boyfriend Ian, who she met in rehab and who later  passed away from a drug overdose. She relapsed after his death but then found inspiration to share her own story and start a blog in his honor. The purpose of the blog is to share other people's stories of sobriety.

Some signs to look out for in people who may be struggling with alcoholism include suddenly stopping the things they love.

For more information, check out Jessica's blog at bottomlesstosober.com and follow her on Instagram at @bottomlesstosober and @yesiladuena.

Welcome to episode one of Stackndays, a podcast hosted by Ray Donovan. The show aims to provide a space for people of color to share their stories and experiences of sobriety.

In episode one Ray shares his journey of overcoming addiction and finding healing and talks about why it was so important for him to start this podcast, and create a space for folks who look and sound like him to be their full selves. Ray shares his story candidly and honestly, and hopes that it will inspire others on their own journey to recovery.

Early life

Ray was born in Montreal, Canada and grew up in a single-parent household after his parents divorced when he was 4. Ray struggled to fit in during his childhood and adolescence, and began drinking at age 14 as a way to cope and fit in with others. Ray's early years were marked by his mother's challenges and poor relationship choices, as well as the absence of his father, who moved to the US after the divorce. Ray's drinking escalated during his college years, as he moved to unfamiliar territories and cultures

The Journey to Sobriety

Ray experienced multiple failed attempts at college and multiple rock bottoms with his drinking. He met his wife but continued to struggle with alcohol for several years. It wasn't until a black-out on a date night in September 2021 that Ray realized he had to get serious about his substance abuse. He sought help medical help  and searched for a therapist, but struggled at first to find a one of color, who could understand the nuance of his experiences as a black man in America.

Ray turned to podcasts as a tool for his healing journey. Some podcasts he liked were Recovery Elevator and This Naked Mind. However, the podcasts were still a mostly white space. Interviewees did not share similar cultural experiences to Ray and he felt a degree of detachment.

He also used fitness to help with his recovery and found that the sober Instagram community was a great resource.

The Purpose of Stackndays

Ray wants to create a space for people of color to be their full, vulnerable and strong selves. He wants to provide a repository of stories of healing and recovery, and give a voice to those who have been underrepresented in the recovery community. People of color deserve healing and Ray wants to contribute to that cause.

Thank you for tuning in to Stackndays, and we hope you'll join us again for another episode.

Contact the show:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram and TikTok: @stackndays

Website: stackndays.com