Teal'c gets stuck in the transporter...er, um, stargate. Jack and Maybourne have an adventure. Sam gets saddled with a useless misogynist. Q gets arrested! Somehow Daniel is a better mediator than the actual mediator.

Somebody call Senator Kinsey! The SGC hatch budget is out of control!

The real deal O'Neill is stuck babysitting Marty again. Teal'c brushes up on his culinary skills. Sam continues to be bad ass, and in heels no less. Daniel...is also there.

Never take suppositories by IV and don’t eat pizza from random doctors who are holding you captive. Also don’t drink orange juice with your ham and cheese sandwich. That’s gross. Only user 4574 does that. But do go ahead and put gummi bears in your beer. That’s tasty.

a.k.a. The Curse of Sam Carter

a.k.a. Everything’s More Fun With Tribbles

a.k.a. The Toilet Goes Both Ways

a.k.a. Universe’s Most Effective Smug-Face Competition

a.k.a. Gym Scotch

a.k.a. Heroic Scraps of Paper

Omoc's funeral is very small and sad. Probably because he was terrible. Turns out a lot of other Tollan are kinda terrible too (but for different reasons). Mary's apartment smells like rotten pumpkin. Schrodinger is fat and happy somewhere and definitely not dead. Special Guest Appearance: Kathy's Wind Chimes

Jack doesn't play well with others. Marduklarin was forced to play with others when he had to find a new host. Mary doesn't have time to play with others.

"The episode was boring. There was a lot of Unas speaking Unas language and Daniel haphazardly trying to translate and they were taken as slaves and then they got free the end." - Mary

We're starting to worry about the SGC. Hammond makes an especially bad decision and Dr. Frasier is really a pretty terrible doctor. On top of that, Daniel just can't stop touching stuff. On the bright side, Cassandra gets turned into an X-Man!

Sam plays with her food again. Jack gets mad again. Hammond wastes a MALP again. Teal'c waits outside again. The science is really bad again.