Stay Soft, Stay Open

Pregnant women should get paid for bringing human life into the world. Women should get paid more than men because we have to bring life into the world, and we have to deal with our bodies ovulating every month before we decide to bring life into the world. Pregnant women are not supported enough through their pregnancies. But the sad and enraging thing is, dying people are supported even less. The death industry is nothing like the birth industry. Pregnant women should be getting free car rides, free groceries, and free baby products (strollers, baby carriers, prenatal vitamins, etc.). The wealth gap in New York City is absolutely disgusting. I picked up a free West Elm armchair and a 50-inch Samsung television last week.

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Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

I have a very big announcement.

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Support the Podcast, become a Patreon Member: https://www.patreon.com/jieunandgreg

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼

In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community.

Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro.

Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member:

① Go to our Patreon page: patreon.com/jieunandgreg
② Choose a membership tier
③ Enter your payment info and subscribe
④ You’re in! Your dandelion pin is on its way 💌

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June is going to be a really hard month. June 16 is Father's Day. June 26 is the 9-month anniversary of 아빠's death. June 30 is 아빠's birthday — he would be turning 64. And June 30 is also the day we met with 아빠's neuro-oncologist, after his final brain CT scan, and found out that his cancer had spread to his brain stem, and likely other places in his body, which we ended up confirming a week later. June was when my dad started dying. I don't know how, but I will survive it. But it will be a hard f*****g month for me, for us.

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼

In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community.

Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro.

Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member:

① Go to our Patreon page: patreon.com/jieunandgreg
② Choose a membership tier
③ Enter your payment info and subscribe
④ You’re in! Your dandelion pin is on its way 💌

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We recorded our May song today, and it went really well, despite my being sick, not getting enough sleep, and being in less-than-ideal condition overall. Our May song is "Old Light." It's a song about hope's existence in the dark places. It's about how hope exists, persists, and endures, through all things. We'll be releasing it on bandcamp tomorrow.

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼

In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community.

Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro.

Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member:

① Go to our Patreon page: patreon.com/jieunandgreg
② Choose a membership tier
③ Enter your payment info and subscribe
④ You’re in! Your dandelion pin is on its way 💌

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We recorded our fifth song of the year today, with my congested nose, my phlegmy throat, my throbbing head, and my exhausted body. I did small things to try to build up capacity, like put on makeup, put this nice-smelling hair oil on, eat a breakfast burrito from my favorite neighborhood spot, and go outside and get my body moving, even just a little. We even went to pick up two free Facebook Marketplace finds — a west elm armchair and a 50-inch Samsung TV. The world is still on fire, and I still feel like s**t. And there are little victories and little joys that I have the privilege of experiencing today. I see my growth. I'm proud of all the work that I've put in to get here. I didn't get here alone. I'm thankful for everyone who poured into me so that I could be here, like this, today.

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼

In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community.

Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro.

Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member:

① Go to our Patreon page: patreon.com/jieunandgreg
② Choose a membership tier
③ Enter your payment info and subscribe
④ You’re in! Your dandelion pin is on its way 💌

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Yesterday was a day where I felt like I was going against gravity. As soon as I gave into gravity, accepted my humanity, and made choices to adjust my schedule to allow for my own limitations, I felt less stressed. Why are white people often so oblivious to the existence or the comfort of others around them? Why are doctors' appointments so stressful to schedule, reschedule, and go to? Why don't we grow our teeth back like sharks? Why is life in New York City so chaotic? How do humans lose their humanity?

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼

In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community.

Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro.

Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member:

① Go to our Patreon page: patreon.com/jieunandgreg
② Choose a membership tier
③ Enter your payment info and subscribe
④ You’re in! Your dandelion pin is on its way 💌

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The 8-month anniversary of 아빠's passing was hard. I think these summer months are going to be especially hard because that's when he started dying, and my body, mind, and spirit remember. The grief built up until Saturday, really hit hard on Sunday, and it's still here today. I watched videos of him because I really wanted to hear his voice. I realized that the time we had with cancer, although it was excruciating, the time was also a gift, where we could do and say the things we wanted to say before things got really bad. Obviously I wish he never had cancer and didn't die, but I was able to feel gratitude for these videos that we took of him. He said a lot of the things he wanted to say before he died. And for the things he couldn't say, he did them. And we also had the time to say and do things for him before he died. And while I wish he were still here, I'm glad we have these memories in the form of these videos. I want to make sure I take it slow for these next four months. They're undeniably going to be difficult. I will survive them. But they will be hard.

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼

In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community.

Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro.

Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member:

① Go to our Patreon page: patreon.com/jieunandgreg
② Choose a membership tier
③ Enter your payment info and subscribe
④ You’re in! Your dandelion pin is on its way 💌

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These last five years, I've been on a journey of being the most myself that I can be, and giving less f***s about what other people will think about me. Grief has made me give way less f***s than ever before. I'm proud of the way that I'm fundraising this year. I'm just honoring my very limited capacity and not pushing myself too far beyond my boundaries, and then feeling resentful and bitter for doing too much and not getting enough back in return. I'm proud of myself for continuing to learn how to untangle my worth from the external validation of others. I'm proud of myself for surviving the most nightmarish year of my f*****g life. I'm proud of myself for every little thing I did and didn't do to get here. I'm even proud of every mistake I made along the way, because it got me to where I'm at today. I'm so f*****g proud of you, Jieun.

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼

In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community.

Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro.

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Thank you, Lindsey Fiegelman, for being the second person to become a Patreon Member during our AANHPI Patreon Fundraiser! In this episode, I read my essay, "The Resilience and Strength of the Humble Dandelion." This is why I chose the dandelion to be our Patreon gift this year.

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼

In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community.

Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro.

Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member:

① Go to our Patreon page: patreon.com/jieunandgreg
② Choose a membership tier
③ Enter your payment info and subscribe
④ You’re in! Your dandelion pin is on its way 💌

Click the button below and become a Patreon Member today.

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Shoutout to Sharon for becoming our first Patreon Member to subscribe during our fundraiser! An epiphany that I had today, while I was talking to Greg, was that I've been unknowingly living by this mantra for the last year: "I'm going to do what I can, when I can, with what I have." And it's kind of mind-blowing what I can accomplish and achieve when I lower the bar and give myself a fighting chance to win. I feel so much better about myself when I'm not berating myself for not being able to achieve something impossible, when I have -1000 in the tank. And from this place of pride in myself for simply existing, the byproduct is joy and creation. That's pretty f*****g cool.

Get full access to Stay Soft, Stay Open at staysoftstayopen.substack.com/subscribe