In this episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren welcomes back Darren Zenger, a counselor and advisor, to discuss Step 4 of the 12-Step Program—taking a fearless and moral inventory. They explore how this crucial step helps individuals examine resentments, fears, and past behaviors to uncover the root causes of addiction and maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Darren explains the different areas of personal inventory:
Resentments: Identifying the people, places, and events that trigger negative emotions.
Fears Inventory: Acknowledging deep-seated fears that drive behavior.
Sexual Inventory: Examining relationships and behaviors to uncover patterns.
Assets Inventory: Recognizing strengths and values to realign with one's true self.
Throughout the conversation, Darren shares personal insights on perfectionism, trauma, and self-acceptance, discussing how these themes have impacted his journey. He emphasizes that self-reflection can be challenging but ultimately liberating, helping individuals break free from unhealthy patterns and realign with their values.
The episode concludes with a message of self-compassion, highlighting the difference between guilt and shame, and encouraging listeners to approach their personal inventory with courage and support.
Chapter Markers:
00:00 – Introduction by Jonathan Price
00:12 – Host Bill Lundgren welcomes Darren Zenger
01:45 – Overview of Step 4: The Moral Inventory
03:30 – Breaking down the inventory: Resentments, fears, and behaviors
06:20 – The importance of writing it down and working with a sponsor
08:45 – Recognizing personal responsibility vs. blaming others
12:00 – Overcoming fear and shame in self-reflection
17:30 – Identifying character defects and working toward change
21:15 – Perfectionism and its impact on personal growth
28:30 – Aligning behaviors with values for long-term healing
34:00 – Self-inventory as a continuous process for growth
38:00 – Final thoughts and words of encouragement
39:45 – Closing remarks and preview of Step 5