In this honest and emotionally vulnerable episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren sits down with therapist and guide dog user Darran Zenger for a heartfelt discussion on one of our most avoided emotions—sadness.

Darran opens up about preparing to say goodbye to his beloved guide dog, sharing what it’s like to sit in the rawness of grief while still showing up with empathy and presence. Bill reflects on the loss of his own father and the misguided emotional norms he grew up with, particularly the message that “men don’t cry.”

Together, they unpack:

The nature of sadness as neither good nor bad

The toxic cultural expectations—especially for men—to suppress emotion

The difference between sadness and depression

How suppressed grief can manifest as anger or even violence

Practical tools for navigating sadness: music, movement, journaling, reaching out, and community

Whether you're grieving, caring for someone who is, or just trying to understand your own emotions better, this episode is a powerful invitation to feel more deeply and heal more fully.

Chapter Markers

00:00 – Opening: Mental health is not a luxury

01:05 – Introducing sadness: it’s not good or bad, it just is

02:24 – Bill’s personal story about emotional suppression

04:05 – Darran’s guide dog and sitting with loss

07:00 – The masculine pressure to suppress emotion

09:30 – The cost of unprocessed sadness

11:58 – Toxic positivity and being told to “buckle up”

14:27 – The need for empathy over solutions

16:37 – Sadness vs. depression: how to tell the difference

20:36 – What sadness looks like in daily life

22:00 – Music, movement, and peanut butter: self-care ideas

25:24 – Writing and drawing as emotional processing tools

26:56 – The power of bilateral stimulation and nature walks

29:13 – Medication, sleep, and the role of therapy

31:17 – Group therapy and peer support for grief

33:38 – Final thoughts: it’s okay to feel

35:58 – Next time on Blindsight: “A is for Anger”

In this emotionally rich and affirming episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren welcomes back therapist Darran Zenger for a deep conversation on the often misunderstood emotion of happiness. Together, they dissect the difference between genuine happiness, put-on smiles, and the more enduring sensation of joy.

Darran opens up about his own challenges, including navigating life with Usher Syndrome, and how reframing small moments—like enjoying French fries or a favorite soda—can rewire the mind toward happiness. He emphasizes that happiness is a moment-to-moment experience, while joy is the cumulative result of consistent presence and meaningful connection.

Bill and Darran also discuss:

Why society often discourages men from feeling emotions

How feelings are tools, not judgments

The subtle ways addiction can numb happiness

The power of gratitude and vulnerability

Why we need to give ourselves permission to be happy

From McDonald’s Coke to Brene Brown’s research, this episode is a vibrant blend of personal stories, clinical wisdom, and soul-nourishing reminders that you’re not alone—and that you deserve to feel happy.

Chapter Markers:

00:03 – Welcome to Blindsight: Introducing feelings series

01:52 – Men, emotions, and societal norms

04:45 – What is happiness? Reframing and redefining joy

07:13 – Positive affirmations and “fake it till you make it”

09:38 – Blindness, dating, and reframing rejection

11:48 – The power of identity beyond disability

13:57 – Connection over perfection and Brene Brown’s research

16:22 – Joy vs. happiness: Daily choices and long-term reward

18:31 – Outdoor joy: Hiking and hunting analogies

20:45 – Chemical imbalance, grief, and suppressing emotion

23:12 – The danger of judging emotions as “bad” or “good”

25:35 – Emotional numbness: Brene Brown and the hand analogy

27:59 – Using emotions as data: Embracing the full spectrum

30:25 – Permission for happiness and being your own worst critic

32:48 – Comparing ourselves, social media, and boundaries

35:13 – Final encouragement: Give yourself grace and pursue connection

Contact Info & Feedback:

Email: [email protected]

Voicemail Line: (720) 712-8856

Let us know your thoughts, questions, or emotional check-ins. We’d love to hear from you.

In this heartfelt and inspiring episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren sits down with Neva Fairchild—an advocate, counselor, and technological leader in the blind community—for a powerful conversation about resilience, adaptation, and acceptance. Born with a visual impairment that went undiagnosed until preschool, Neva takes us through her journey of coping with undiagnosed Stargardt disease, the challenges of navigating school without accommodations, and ultimately building a career that has reshaped the lives of others with vision loss.

Neva shares how she learned to stop hiding her condition, embraced assistive technology, and found her true calling later in life among those who not only lived with blindness—but thrived in it. Her story is a call to action to advocate for better services, honest conversations with doctors and families, and the dignity that comes from asking for help.

Neva’s journey is one of transformation—from a child who struggled to be understood, to a national leader who now empowers others to live well with vision loss.

Key Topics Covered:

Neva’s early signs of vision loss and misdiagnosis

Learning to pass in a sighted world and the emotional toll

Breaking through shame and isolation by meeting others with blindness

How technology and the right support changed everything

Her work with AFB and advocacy for older adults with vision loss

The importance of honesty, asking for help, and normalizing blindness

Chapter Markers:

00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight

01:00 – Neva’s diagnosis and early childhood struggles

04:45 – Going blind in adulthood: The emotional and medical shock

07:00 – Coping mechanisms, stubbornness, and a hunger to live fully

10:00 – The power of blind community and assistive technology

12:20 – Transitioning from enlargement to screen readers

14:30 – The shame of visibility and learning to accept her identity

17:00 – Career in blindness rehab and helping others thrive

21:00 – Advocacy for better doctor referrals and more vision specialists

23:45 – Final advice: "Blindness isn’t a character flaw"

26:00 – Closing thoughts and contact info

In this special episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren and producer Jonathan Price respond to listener-submitted questions about their recent 12-part series on the 12-Step Program. From fear of surrender in Step 1 to doubts about spiritual connection in Step 11 and uncertainty about helping others in Step 12, this conversation is raw, honest, and deeply human.

Listeners from across the U.S. and beyond wrote in to ask deeply personal questions:

How do I surrender without giving up on myself?

What if my moral inventory in Step 4 changes how I see myself?

How can I make amends without reopening wounds?

What do I do when God feels distant?

Can I really help someone else if I’m still healing?

Bill shares real-world insights and practical, compassionate guidance rooted in decades of therapeutic experience. Jonathan offers encouragement, reframing each question with empathy and hope. The episode ends with a teaser for their next mini-series: exploring four foundational emotions—mad, glad, sad, and scared—and how these emotions interplay with logic, recovery, and identity.

Whether you’re in recovery or walking alongside someone who is, this episode offers a powerful reminder: you are not alone, and healing is possible.

⏱️ Chapter Markers:

00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight

00:46 – Letters from Listeners

02:30 – Shannon (Step 1): Letting Go Without Losing Yourself

09:45 – Devin (Step 4): Afraid of What I’ll Find

17:10 – Tasha (Step 9): Making Amends Without Causing Harm

22:00 – Chris (Step 11): Feeling Spiritually Blocked

26:45 – Ellie (Step 12): Can I Help While Still Healing?

31:45 – What’s Next: Mad, Glad, Sad, and Scared

33:55 – Feedback & Farewell

In this raw and transformative episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren sits down with Zach Tidwell, a blind Marine Corps veteran, adaptive athlete, software developer, and suicide survivor. Zach shares the deeply personal story of his journey—from a suicide attempt that left him blind and deaf in one ear, to confronting alcoholism, a devastating Huntington’s diagnosis, and ultimately rebuilding a life of resilience and purpose. Through adaptive sports, therapy, coding, and brutal self-honesty, Zach not only survived—he thrived.

Zach speaks openly about the critical importance of speaking up, learning healthy coping strategies, asking for help, and embracing your agency in the face of despair. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing internal battles—or for those supporting someone who is.

⚠️ Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicide and addiction. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 988, and press 1 if you're a veteran.

Contact Information:

Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1 for veterans

Aftersight Feedback Line: (720) 712-8856

Email: [email protected]

Zach Tidwell Website: https://www.zachtidwell.net

Podcast: Going in Blind with Zach Tidwell (available on all platforms)

Chapter Markers:

00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight

01:05 – Meet Zach Tidwell: Marine, survivor, and adaptive athlete

02:14 – Betrayal, trauma, and the downward spiral

04:38 – Depression, drinking, and suicidal thoughts

06:53 – Surviving a self-inflicted gunshot wound

09:11 – “I’m not making salt and pepper shakers” — reclaiming identity

11:31 – Adaptive sports and rediscovering independence

13:52 – The power of speaking up during the lowest point

16:13 – Why Zach became a blind software developer

18:23 – Relapse and the battle with alcoholism

20:46 – Xanagrams and finding purpose through accessibility

22:45 – Accountability, acceptance, and hard choices

25:03 – The final drink: December 5, 2023

27:26 – The Huntington’s diagnosis and choosing to live intentionally

29:53 – Competing in sports and doing it differently

32:19 – Adapting your world by accepting help

34:39 – VA Blind Rehab Services and veteran resources

36:44 – Suicide prevention hotline and how to get help

38:00 – Zach’s projects, book, and podcast

40:10 – Final thoughts: Growth is painful but worth it

In this heartfelt and grounded episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren wraps up the 12-step series with guest Kevin Petersen, focusing on Step 12 of Alcoholics Anonymous: Having had a spiritual awakening... we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Kevin brings clarity, humor, and wisdom to the spiritual and practical sides of Step 12. They unpack what a “spiritual awakening” really looks like—hint: it’s not lightning bolts—and how helping others starts with showing up and being human. This conversation digs deep into humility, relapse, perfectionism, and why stability is the new sexy. Whether you’re in recovery, love someone who is, or just want to live a more honest and connected life, this episode is a gift.

⏱️ Chapter Markers

00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight

01:00 – Step 12: Reading and breakdown

02:15 – The circle and triangle: spiritual and technical meaning

03:50 – Carrying the mess vs. the message

04:35 – Having a spiritual awakening: what it really means

06:40 – Humility and helping others (without losing yourself)

09:20 – “Stability is the new sexy”

10:55 – What’s the message we carry? (Hint: It’s hope)

13:00 – Relapse, grace, and compassion in recovery

15:50 – Why shame doesn’t heal anyone

17:45 – Perfectionism in the blind and disabled communities

20:30 – God moments, FaceTime sign language, and awareness

22:50 – Practicing the principles in all our affairs

25:15 – Humanity > Perfection

27:45 – Recovery as a second chance

30:15 – Final thoughts: Community, flexibility, and finding joy

32:30 – Feedback invitation and contact info

📞 Contact Info

Phone: (720) 712-8856

Email: [email protected]

Website: aftersight.org

In this deeply reflective episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren and returning guest Joe dive into Step 11 of the 12-Step Program:

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”

Together, they explore the tension and beauty in surrendering our will, discuss the spiritual ambiguity many newcomers wrestle with, and unpack the core purpose of prayer and meditation in recovery—not as a way to get what we want, but to align ourselves with something far more trustworthy: God’s will. With honesty and care, the conversation touches on religious trauma, the fluidity of the "higher power" concept, and the sacred act of showing up each morning and simply asking.

Bill and Joe also unpack the Prayer of St. Francis, the importance of not running the show, and why taking it easy isn’t laziness—it’s wisdom.

⏱️ Chapter Markers:

00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight

01:15 – What is Step 11?

02:15 – Joe’s background with God entering recovery

04:00 – Religious trauma and spiritual abuse

06:30 – Higher Power vs “God” terminology

07:45 – Bill W, Carl Jung, and Benedictine roots

09:15 – “Upon awakening…” – morning meditation guidance

12:30 – Asking for freedom from self-will

13:50 – “Take it easy” and the myth of urgency

14:30 – Ambition, success, and God’s will

17:00 – Suffering, Job, and the mystery of evil

19:00 – The Prayer of St. Francis

21:30 – Self-care vs. helping others

23:00 – The trap of codependency and false humility

26:30 – The train-and-candle metaphor

28:15 – Richard Rohr, atheism, and a hostile universe

30:00 – Drops of God: how to seek and notice

31:50 – Final thoughts: “Keep coming back. It works.”

📞 Contact Us

Got feedback? Questions? Want to share your story?

📧 Email: [email protected]

📞 Call/Text: 720-712-8856

In this raw and thoughtful episode of Blindsight, Bill Lundgren sits down with Joe, a longtime friend and retired physician who brings 34 years of personal recovery experience to the mic. Together, they dive into Step 10 of the 12-step program: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”

But as Joe reveals, it’s not always about being wrong. Sometimes, it’s about being right—and still needing to take a step back. This episode unpacks the tricky territory of righteous anger, resentment, and the danger of spiritual pride, especially in a world full of division and injustice. Joe opens up about the personal coal of unresolved bitterness and how Step 10 keeps him grounded, honest, and able to maintain serenity. From real-time reflections on political outrage to resisting hatred when you feel justified, this conversation is a must-hear for anyone striving to stay clean, sober, and spiritually awake in a chaotic world.

Chapter Markers:

00:00 – Intro: Time to Fight. Time to Thrive.

01:30 – What is Step 10 and why does it matter now?

04:00 – Righteous anger and how it steals serenity

07:15 – Resentment disguised as justice

10:00 – A personal example: healthcare rage and assassination

13:45 – When resentment turns into internal damage

16:30 – The difference between hopelessness and serenity

18:45 – Anger vs. Resentment: Why addicts must pause

21:00 – Maintaining relationships across divides

24:00 – The challenge of taking a kindly view of everyone

27:30 – Walking away without severing ties

30:00 – Resentment, prevention, and avoiding future amends

32:30 – Choosing peace over being right

34:00 – Final thoughts and hope for those still fighting

Contact Info:

📞 Feedback line: (720) 712-8865

📧 Email: [email protected]

In this powerful episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren is joined by Kevin Peterson, a counselor, author, and long-time advocate for mental health and recovery. Together, they unpack Step Nine of the 12 Steps: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

Kevin shares deeply personal and emotional stories about the power of taking full responsibility for the harm we’ve caused — not just through apologies, but through real amends. He explains the technical process of Step Nine (including four key questions), the spiritual courage it takes to show up in person, and the role your Higher Power plays in facilitating healing and reconciliation.

Listeners will gain insights into the difference between guilt and accountability, how to avoid further harm in the process, and why this step is a true marker of maturity in recovery. Whether you’re in a 12-step program or simply navigating a journey of healing and growth, Kevin’s candid storytelling and grounded wisdom will move you.

He’ll be back next week to go even deeper—so stay tuned.

⏱️ Chapter Markers:

00:00 – Opening and Welcome: Mental health and the journey through the 12 Steps

01:10 – Kevin Peterson’s sobriety journey and introduction to Step 9

02:20 – Step 4 and 9: Where people tend to drop out

03:30 – Technical vs. Spiritual: Understanding Step 9’s dual nature

04:45 – How to identify who to make amends to

05:30 – The 4 components of making amends

07:00 – The difference between apology and amends

08:20 – Doing it in person and trusting your Higher Power

09:30 – Emotional impact stories: Lost relationship

11:30 – Story of financial harm and deeper consequences

13:50 – Real accountability and taking ownership

15:00 – Turning it over to your Higher Power

16:30 – Facing legal risks in the amends process

17:50 – Al-Anon, honesty, and being tested in the process

18:30 – Big or small, all amends matter

19:30 – Step 9 as a maturity marker in recovery

21:00 – How to handle amends that could harm others

22:40 – Final thoughts: Step 9 separates adults from children in recovery

23:30 – Closing and feedback information

In this episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren continues the journey through the 12-step program, diving into Step Eight: "Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all." Returning guest Jeff Schlund from the Betty Ford Center shares honest and heartfelt reflections on what it means to be ready to make amends—and how this step was a turning point in his own recovery.

They discuss how memory, humility, and fear all play roles in the process, and why putting ourselves on the list of those we’ve harmed might be one of the most overlooked yet healing parts of the journey. Jeff shares his story of relapse and resilience, and how step eight helped him discover a deeper sense of accountability, hope, and empowerment.

⏱️ Chapter Markers:

00:00 – Introduction to Step Eight

02:24 – Jeff’s recovery story and Betty Ford experience

04:45 – The evolving list of people harmed

07:09 – Making amends to yourself

09:29 – The danger of unchecked guilt

11:07 – Step Eight is not a race

14:45 – The difference between amends and apology

18:38 – Accepting outcomes when making amends

20:40 – Jumping ahead to Step Nine too soon

22:18 – The importance of readiness and memory

24:24 – Jeff's personal turning point

27:59 – Real support from others in recovery

30:22 – The roots of the program and real change

32:31 – Surrender and serious recovery

34:42 – Relief and empowerment from willingness

36:16 – “The only thing you have to change is everything”

38:14 – Closing thoughts and next episode preview

📱 Contact Info:

We’d love your feedback!

📞 Call us: 720-712-8856

📧 Email us: [email protected]