Matt Salinger dons the role of weak but honorable Steve Rogers and becomes Captain America as part of the Super Soldier Program so that he can be strong enough to stop the Nazi equivalent, the Red Skull. Sound familiar? Well that's about all this film has in common with anything that you know about Cap. The rest is pretty much the dumbest hot mess that you could possibly imagine.

Albert Pyun's Captain America is maybe the worst adaptation of a single character that has ever been made. Matt Salinger is awkward moving at all times and shows absolutely no athletic ability. Captain America is a bit of a dick as he really shows little concern for other people. He's about as smart as a box of hair. He really never succeeds in any mission nor is he ever known by the world as a WWII superhero, even though when he is unthawed the world seems to care, despite having never heard of him before.

The visuals (costumes, effects and action) are horrendous and make up the best part of the film. By best I mean that they are hilarious. Cap's outfit looks like its made of vinyl and seems to get ripped up randomly from what we can only infer is that Matt Salinger leaned up against walls too much. The shield looks like an after dinner peppermint. Red Skull only has Red Skull face for the first 5 minutes on screen. The Red Skull rat is epic bad stop-motion. The list of bad visuals goes on and on.

Really the whole problem with the film is that Captain America is a true idiot and buffoon. His first mission as Cap is a failure as he gets his ass kicked by the Red Skull and then strapped to a rocket. After reanimation, he walks back to the states from Alaska instead of just asking someone "Where am I and how do I get back?" He does nothing to prevent his old flame and her family from getting murdered. And his main plan for taking on the Red Skull is to find the Red Skull's real name....huh? You just need to go back to the castle that your last memory is from, you moron!

You can really tell that this film had about 10 million rewrites from the original script and the film just got away from the makers. It is a truly hot mess. Usually that works for us in bad movies but really this just stinks. There's far too little happening on screen at anytime and the story is just too convoluted to really be able to enjoy what is happening. You're too busy scratching your head trying to figure out what is going on to really be able to even make fun of it.

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Brought to you by Captain Canada. Can Captain Canada, with the help of Jacques Pierre, defeat the villainous Josef Stalin and his evil right hand man, the Red Scare? Tune in to WABC on Stinker Madness to find out!

It's time for some sweet pre-Avenger action, when Matt Salinger becomes Steve Rogers or is that Peyton Manning? Its 1990's Captain America directed by Albert Pyun and produced by Menahem Golan. Its gotta be a total slam dunk right?

Dolph and Jean Claude square off with the assistance of Roland Emmerich in the blockbuster film, Universal Soldier. The idea is that there is a military program that takes dead soldiers and reanimates them, while erasing their memories so that they can become undead badass guys. Are they zombies? Or just slightly retarded guys with guns?

The film is a very early Roland Emmerich work and really lays the foundation for his career. All of the staples that you see in a Roland Emmerich film are setup here. Plot details that just get glossed over (JCVD's accent for example), punchlines that involve people looking quizzically at each other after something ridiculous happens, action shots that seem crazy but you just really can't tell what's happening...Of course, JCVD also delivers some of the staples of his films as well including excessive shots of his butt and a lack of explaining his ethnicity. Dolph is just Dolph.

Unfortunately, this film is a tad boring. There's far too many scenes of the Universal Soldiers pondering what life is now that they are dead or reliving the last moments of the life before they died and then pondering. We get it. JCVD doesn't know how his weiner works and Dolph has an obsession with chopping ears off but there is far too little action. However, the action sequences that do happen are quite exciting and fun but are too few and far between.

If you've seen this before, don't spend your time doing it again. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a view but don't expect something incredible. It's just ok.

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Brought to you by Universally Older - the one stop pharmaceutical line of products for the aging badass. JCVD approved!

This week Jackie pulls the metaphorical trigger on Roland Emmerich and Jean Claude Van Damme's first appearance on Stinker Madness. Plus Dolph Lundgren shows up for the fourth time in Universal Soldier. Can this be a good movie? Probably not....

Also this week we release a new segment that we hope you enjoy. It's called Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor and is a stalwart drinking game in our social network (the real life kind, sorry Tweeters). The rules are simple; pick someone famous and decide if they would make a good neighbor or a bad neighbor. It doesn't matter how much you like the person, even people you like may make bad neighbors (talking to you William Shatner) and people you dislike may make great neighbors (talking to you Kobe Bryant). Be sure to reach out to us with your thoughts on each weeks pick by hashtagging #GNBN.

American Kickboxer 2 is a one of a kind achievement in horrendously bad acting, awful dialogue, poorly performed stunts, and incredibly stupid plot. It really is a perfect storm in bad action movies. With this combined tour de crap, it becomes a laugh a second tornado of awesomeness. This is too rad to ignore.

Essentially, a rich family's child is kidnapped and the mother has to recruit two tough guys from her past to rescue her. Sounds simple right? Well lets try this again. The owner of a successful plumbing company has a slightly mentally handicapped child who gets kidnapped by action guys. She contacts her tough guy ex-husband and her tough guy ex-lover and explains to both of them that they have an 8 year old child and that she's been kidnapped. The two tough guys then proceed to fight each other more than bad guys until a hooker tells them that a warehouse that stores guys who don't actually work there and just have upstairs "Fight Club" also contains the kidnapped child. At that point they end up having to fight each other to the death, when a pothead frees here by using cockroaches. Movie ends with an implied three-way. Wow.

A completely awesome terrible movie because of its flaws for sure. Highly recommended viewing.

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Presented by We're No Cupcakes, Cupcakes. Two tough guys are forced to take over a bakery and not kill each other or the customers.

Sam brings in a dozy this week, when two tough guys have to team up and do assorted martial arts to free a young girl from a kidnapping ring. American Kickboxer 2 stars Dale Cook, Evan Lurie, Kathy Showers and Tackleberry. Our main question for this film will be: Is there any actual kickboxing in it?

Unfortunately we have no movies this week but we do think you should check this out. It's a new free movie streaming service, much like Crackle and with a solid lineup of good bad movies. It's called Tubitv and here are some highlights:

Check them out at: http://tubitv.com/

Name 3 movies that:

Charlie Sheen, Sherilyn Fenn, Randy Quaid and Nick Cassavetes do battle with making sense as The Wraith and vengeance storm Arizona.

This movie is sweet. It's a real brainbuster as to why this isn't a more widely known film. If you were born as a male from 1975-1985 and you had seen this film at about the age of 11, it would have easily been your favorite film. Its got everything you could want: sweet cars, racing, cool guys, explosions, boobs, and a sprinkling of some magic baloney. We can only figure that because there's 4 sets of boobs in it that most parents wouldn't let their children see it. Well guess what, now we're all adults and this movie should be a big deal. If you haven't seen this, stop what you're doing and go watch it. It's for you.

We really can't praise this film enough and highly recommend it.

We really can't praise this film enough and highly recommend it.

Presented by Barret Jaxson and the Dodge M4S.

Its finally time to review the most awesome concept car movie of all time, 1986's The Wraith. This film stars Charlie Sheen, Sherilyn Fenn, Randy Quaid, Clint Howard, Nick Cassavettes and the Dodge M4S. Sweeeeeeet! Vengeance always demands a K-Car. Thanks Lee Iaccoca!

Russ and Roger go beyond in this under-whelming tale of how LA is tough on people, I guess. It's really a tale of people having banter that doesn't work for the viewer and then boning. Nothing happens in the film until 90% of the way through. We say less banter, more boobies.

We'll just go ahead and say that this was a massive disappointment. We were hoping for some really far out zany business with a nice backdrop of solid chests. Unfortunately, its mostly just music video, party, banter, music video, party, banter, tame boning, music video, banter, party, wedding, credits. This formula equals a sum of boring for 3/4 of the film. The pacing and writing seem to try to shock the viewer but I can't even imagining in 1970 that this film was shocking. Its as if you are told that people can be gay and then the person telling you this looks at you as says "Aren't you shocked? You must be shocked? That's SOOOO shocking" while you look at this person and wonder if they've ever been outside. How naive did Russ and Roger think people were in 1970? People have sex and do drugs?!?! Whoa...

Either way, it's not good and not worth a repeat viewing if you have already seen it and ready to try again. However, this movie is important in the grand scheme of being a bad movie fan and we feel it is a must view.....ONCE.

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Coming soon from Stinker Studios - Vampires and Vixens, the Russ Meyer movie they didn't want you to see!

We prepare this week for the rated X Russ Meyer classic, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Jackie recently saw "Life Itself", the documentary about Roger Ebert and now she thinks Beyond the Valley of the Dolls may be the greatest thing to ever exist. Sam and Justin have already seen it and are on shaky ground. Who will be rewarded? Hopefully YOU, dear listener!

Sean and Steve from The Thurman and Lala Podcast join us in studio to discuss how you can spot a bad movie within minutes of it starting. These very funny guys are completely worth checking out if you like a helpful of good laughs on your Mondays.

Listen to The Thurman and Lala Podcast: