Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better

Welcome to a very special episode, Heartbreak for Black Lives. I am bringing on one of my nearest and dearest friends, Aisha Kabia. We met 11 years ago when I moved to LA. She embraced me with open arms, and it was the beginning of one of the most treasured and beautiful friendships that I have in my life. We’ve had many conversations over the years about so many different topics, but the one thing we’ve never really talked about is what it’s like to be a black woman in the United States.

What's harder than heartbreak? Breaking your freakin' patterns! If it's not serving you, change it! I was inspired to do this episode because one of my closest friends, Samantha, who is stuck in a pattern in her dating life. She is in a wishy-washy relationship with a guy that has been dragging on and on.  Even when she has all of the information and can see that he is unavailable, she stays in this pattern of off and on again dating with him.

This episode is inspired by a recent conversation I had with someone who said that they have been listening to this podcast for a while now, and they are picking up what I’m putting down. However, they’re struggling with the idea that “It’s just a thought”.

This episode is inspired by a listener review, and as much as I have the best intentions, I know that my coaching isn’t for everyone. My insight and coaching as a heartbreak coach only works for those who are open and willing to work with me.

I am excited to share with you a recent conversation I had with my friend and client Natalia. She started coaching with me last December and has had the most amazing transformation through our time working together. She was with her ex for about 10 months and was devastated and heartbroken when we had our first chat. Her story is something that she wants to share with all of you, where she can be of service and to let everyone know that you are not alone in this situation.

The topic of this week’s episode, feeling like you’re not enough, was inspired by a client who started working with me in December. She was heartbroken and lost, and was ready to dive in and dig deeper, do the work, and heal her heart. Now, that she has, she’s been able to start opening herself up to the dating world again. A huge part of her journey is learning the boundaries, and not apologizing for things she does not feel she needs to apologize for.

When someone ends a relationship, it feels like a part of us died. It feels like it becomes a struggle to live normally, without them in the picture. Take, for instance, what one of my listeners is going through because of a recent break up with her boyfriend. She is lost and feels as though she could not go on with all the pain and longing she has for her ex, the dilemmas of either moving on, or holding on until he comes back.

If you’ve been listening to this show for any amount of time, you know that I am against contact with your ex. No contact applies to anyone who is still carrying the torch for their ex, who is still in love or seeks any deeper connection from that someone. Don't let Mr. or Miss Unavailable barge in again to your life and put you in a complete mess all over again. Constant contact will still result in a broken heart.

A conversation with my bestie, and sex coach, Danielle Savory provides more light to what women are unaware of: their sexual pleasure. We discussed why pleasure is important.

Most of us feel worst, especially if you're brokenhearted, as we are juggling our emotions along with losing human connections because of social distancing, which is necessary right now as we are getting through a pandemic. That's okay. Emotional pain, rejection, and loneliness are just those human emotions that we constantly experience throughout our lives.