Episode Summary

Part Two moves from private reflection to sharing your story with someone else. Bill and Bethany cover how to choose a slice of your story, when to share, and how to assess whether a listener is safe. They model practical tactics: make the story linear by writing or recording, start imperfectly, use an “appreciation anchor” to regulate when emotions spike, and share in proportion to the relationship’s intimacy. They introduce the “Four S’s” for evaluating safe listeners (Seen, Safe, Secure, Soothing) and demonstrate how to ask for what you need (“do you want suggestions or listening?”). Exercise 2 focuses on identifying safe people and practicing gratitude with one of them.

Exercise 2 — Defining Safe People (on-air reference)

Purpose: Identify people who can hold your story without judgment.

Steps:

• List three people you talk to most often.

• For each, note: Do they listen without fixing? Do they respect confidentiality? Do I feel calmer afterward?

• Rank them for emotional safety.

• Pick one and thank them for being a safe presence.

Reflection: “What qualities make me feel safest — and how can I model them?”

Contact Info

Guest: Bethany Joy Boring — Speaker, coach, group facilitator

Aftersight: aftersight.org | [email protected] | (720) 712-8856

Producer: Jonathan Price, Podcast & Program Producer, Aftersight — [email protected]

Show Credits

Host: Bill Lundgren

Guest: Bethany Joy Boring

Series: Blindsight — Telling Your Story

Production: Aftersight Originals

Producer: Jonathan Price

Recording and post: Aftersight Audio Team

Chapter Markers

00:00 — Cold open and setup

02:24 — Pick a slice: what and why to share

04:44 — Permission to start imperfectly

06:44 — From circular thoughts to linear drafts

09:08 — Choose a safe place to create

11:32 — Naming emotions; IFS curiosity over control

13:51 — You decide pace and boundaries

16:17 — Body as protector; respecting limits

18:29 — Perspective shifts over time

20:16 — Imagery, low vision, and getting “unstuck”

22:41 — Appreciation anchor as safety net

25:03 — Right-size the share for the relationship

27:32 — Levels of intimacy as guide rails

31:43 — The Four S’s: Seen, Safe, Secure, Soothing

34:47 — Rehearsing stories builds resilience

37:01 — Authenticity on stage and in life

39:30 — Fixing vs listening; set expectations

41:55 — The power of shared silence

43:47 — Validate first; advice later

46:11 — Ask for what you need explicitly

48:13 — Model the behavior you want

50:13 — Practice listening; it’s a skill

53:44 — Vulnerability with progressive loss

56:09 — Invite others into your story

57:58 — Final takeaways and next steps

60:08 — Outro and resources