Sunshine Parenting

“You are to use that [strength] to defend the women in your life against men that are abusing their strength.” -Heather Haupt In Episode 13 of the podcast, I’m talking with Heather Haupt about her book Knights in Training: Ten Principles for Raising Honorable, Courageous, and Compassionate Boys. After interviewing Kathleen Buckstaff about her book Get […]

"I've written the book that I needed as a teenage girl." -Kathleen Buckstaff

In Episode 12 of the podcast, I'm talking with author and parent Kathleen Buckstaff. Kathleen and I were classmates at Stanford in the 80s, and we reconnected a few years ago when I learned about this book she had just started writing. We have since shared many lengthy conversations about parenting and educating others on important issues affecting teenagers.

Kathleen's new book, Get Savvy: Letters to a Teenage Girl about Sex and Love is a must-read for every parent, educator, psychologist, and camp professional. If you love or work with teens and young adults, please read this book!

Kathleen wrote this book intending it for mothers and daughters but is finding that her audience is also including fathers and even two fraternities who are reading the book this summer.

Identifying predators' traits, tactics, and tricks is just one important part of Kathleen's educational message for young women. Examples from Kathleen's own experience and interviews with many young women provide compelling examples of steps to take to reduce the risk of sexual assault.

"Basically, I want us to change how we think about predators so that we can then talk to our daughters and sons, so that our daughters are aware that it's most likely someone that they know who may approach them in a way that isn't okay or that's illegal or both, and for our sons to be willing to step up and intervene and not look the other way or laugh." -Kathleen Buckstaff

I want Kathleen's important insights about relationships, respect, and love to be shared with this entire generation of young people - both girls and boys.

Respect, discernment, boundaries, and love are all topics that Kathleen covers by offering excellent discussion questions and role playing ideas. Her goal is to help all people create happier relationships.

Learn more about the book and follow Kathleen's work:

Order Get Savvy: Letters to a Teenage Girl about Sex and Love at Amazon

Kathleen Buckstaff's Website

Walk Savvy Girls (Instagram)

Kathleen's Facebook Page

Kathleen's Walk Savvy on Twitter

“I’ve written the book that I needed as a teenage girl.” -Kathleen Buckstaff In Episode 12 of the podcast, I’m talking with author and parent Kathleen Buckstaff. Kathleen and I were classmates at Stanford in the 80s, and we reconnected a few years ago when I learned about this book she had just started writing. We […]

What summer camp offers is the opportunity to quite deliberately place them [children] in a very different environment, and if you are careful about that, you can use that summer period as almost a "spiritual delousing." -Ron Lieber

In Episode 11 of the podcast, I'm talking with Ron Lieber, author of the 2015 New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-seller The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. Lieber, father of two, has been the "Your Money" columnist for the New York Times since 2008, has a robust community and conversation on his Facebook page and an informative website. Lieber is a sought-after keynote speaker.

"Every money conversation is also a conversation about values." -Ron Lieber

About the book: "The Opposite of Spoiled is all about how, when and why to talk to kids about money, whether they are 3 years old or teenagers. Written in a warm, accessible voice, grounded in real-world experience and stories from families with a range of incomes, The Opposite of Spoiled is both a practical guidebook and a values-based philosophy."

In our interview, we talked about "forced deprivation," not buying kids everything they want just because we can afford it. Because he mentioned summer camp in a section of his book titled "How Overnight Camp Can Help" (p. 187 in the paperback), I reached out to talk with Ron more about his thoughts on how summer camp experiences can help teach kids values.

The Stanford psychologist Lieber refers to in our interview is William Damon, author of The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life and Failing Liberty 101: How We Are Leaving Young Americans Unprepared for Citizenship in a Free Society (Hoover Institution Press Publication), among several other books.

Where to find and follow Ron Lieber:

"Your Money" column, New York Times

Ron Lieber's Website: Sign up for tips on how to have more useful and meaningful family conversations about money.

The Opposite of Spoiled

Facebook: Ron Lieber and The Opposite of Spoiled

Twitter: @ronlieber

What summer camp offers is the opportunity to quite deliberately place them [children] in a very different environment, and if you are careful about that, you can use that summer period as almost a “spiritual delousing.” -Ron Lieber In Episode 11 of the podcast, I’m talking with Ron Lieber, author of the 2015 New York Times […]

In Episode 10 of the podcast, I had the pleasure of interviewing one of my favorite parenting and camp experts, best-selling author Michael Thompson, Ph.D.

For more than three decades, Thompson has been a clinical psychologist, school and camp consultant, and international speaker on the subjects of children, schools, and parenting.

Throughout my career as a camp director, Michael has graciously offered his wisdom, advice and mentoring. I've written about his conference sessions, books, and wisdom in several of my posts, including Homesickness Help and Secondary Homesick: When Your Camper Doesn't Want to go Back to Camp.

I continue to learn a lot from Thompson's books and conference training sessions and I highly recommend his book Homesick and Happy to parents who are unsure about whether to send their child to camp. Thompson wrote the book to "remind parents of how lovely it is to be away from home."

Order Homesick and Happy:

Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow

Related Posts:

10 Messages for a Homesick Camper

Homesickness Dos and Don'ts

Kidsickness

Parking Your Helicopter

10 Must-Read Books for Parents of Boys

In the podcast, we also talk about some of Thompson's other books, including three of his popular books about raising boys, two of which I have just added to my own library (Speaking of Boys and It's a Boy):

Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions about Raising Sons

"With candid questions and thoughtful, detailed responses, Speaking of Boys covers hot-button topics such as peer pressure, ADHD/ADD, and body image as well as traditional issues such as friendship, divorce, and college and career development. This perceptive, informative, and passionate book will leave you not only with useful, practical advice but also with the comforting knowledge that other parents share the same concerns you do when it comes to raising our boys into well-adjusted, responsible men."

Raising Cain

"In Raising Cain, Michael Thompson and collaborator Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., two of the country's leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in decades of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting—sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Drs. Thompson and Kindlon set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that "cool" equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of "mother blame," "boy biology," and "testosterone," the authors shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive–the emotional miseducation of boys.

The book makes a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. The two psychologists identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy–giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth."

It's a Boy

Thompson's It's a Boy is a chronological book starting from before your boy is born all the way through being a high school senior. Thompson recommends "dipping into" this book, not reading it all the way through until your boy gets to the age Thompson talks about it.

"It's a Boy! provides expert advice on the developmental, psychological, social, emotional, and academic life of boys from infancy through the teen years. Exploring the many ways in which boys strive for masculinity and attempt to define themselves, psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., a leading international expert on boys' development, and journalist Teresa H. Barker identify the key developmental transitions that mark a boy's psychological growth and emotional health, and the challenges both boys and parents face at each age."

Thompson also wrote an excellent book (which I have in my library and have read) about the social lives of children called Best Friends, Worst Enemies.

"Best Friends, Worst Enemies brings to life the drama of childhood relationships, guiding parents to a deeper understanding of the motives and meanings of social behavior. Here you will find penetrating discussions of the difference between friendship and popularity, how boys and girls deal in unique ways with intimacy and commitment, whether all kids need a best friend, why cliques form and what you can do about them."

If you don't have any of Thompson's book in your parenting library, I recommend you pick one up and check it out. His warmth, breadth of experience, and practical advice are incredibly valuable.

Michael Thompson's website

More information about Audrey's new book is here: Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults.

In Happy Campers, Audrey shares what she's learned from three decades of creating a culture where kids become happier while gaining important social and emotional skills. The book is based on her thousands of interactions with campers, camp counselors, and parents, her academic research in positive psychology, and interviews with camp directors from across the country.

“I wanted to remind everybody that for many of us, while we love our parents to pieces, the sweetest moments of our childhood were when we had independence from them.” -Michael Thompson, Ph.D. In Episode 10 of the podcast, I had the pleasure of interviewing one of my favorite parenting and camp experts, best-selling author Michael […]

"Everything good in my life is because of camp." Daniella Garran

Daniella Garran calls herself a camp "cultist" because she loves camp that much. Daniella has been at Cape Code Sea Camps since 1984 as both a camper and a counselor, and she now serves as an assistant director. In her role at CCSC now, Daniella schedules over 400 campers and oversees the teen leadership program.

Daniella loves summer camp so much, she even wrote a book called Hello Mother, Hello Father: Celebrating Summer Camp! The book is a beautiful, hard cover, coffee-table style book that covers the history of summer camps in the United States. For the book, she interviewed campers, staff, and alumni from many different American summer camps. I first connected with Daniella when she was writing the book, and she ended up interviewing alumni from my camp, who are quoted in the book.

In Episode 10, I interview Daniella about her experiences at camp, what she learned as a camp counselor, and how she is able to use those skills as a 7th grade teacher. We also talk about why she recommends camp counseling as a great summer job and what she wants to tell parents who think an internship is a better idea than being a camp counselor!

Related: Why Being a Camp Counselor is the Best Summer Job

“Everything good in my life is because of camp.” Daniella Garran Daniella Garran calls herself a camp “cultist” because she loves camp that much. Daniella has been at Cape Code Sea Camps since 1984 as both a camper and a counselor, and she now serves as an assistant director. In her role at CCSC now, Daniella schedules […]

"Sometimes we feel like salmon swimming upstream, but camp has really made us feel comfortable when we've made those decisions that go against the current in our community." -Sally Whipple

In Episode 8 of the Podcast, I talk with Scott and Sally Whipple, the owners of three Bay Area (California) camps: Mountain Camp Mountain Camp Woodside Plantation Farm Camps

The Whipples share five intentional decisions they've made that have shaped their parenting style:

#1 Embrace failure #2 Value authentic, kid-generated work #3 Give freedom of choice & empower kids to make changes when things aren't working #4 Preserve unstructured playtime #5 Limit screen time

"All these things are learned skills...it really is a consistent, focus effort over time to give them the time and space to do these types of creative things." -Scott

Although the Whipples sometimes feel like "salmon swimming upstream" in their parenting, they are sticking to their unique, camp-grown parenting style!

Resources/Related:Episode 7: Family Pace & Space with Sara Kuljis 5 Reasons to Unplug 10 Lessons for Parents Raising Kids in a Digital World