Sunshine Parenting

“Sometimes we feel like salmon swimming upstream, but camp has really made us feel comfortable when we’ve made those decisions that go against the current in our community.” -Sally Whipple In Episode 8 of the Podcast, I talk with Scott and Sally Whipple, the owners of three Bay Area (California) camps: Mountain Camp Mountain Camp […]

"A moderately paced schedule serves our children better." -Sara Kuljis

In Episode 7 of the podcast, I'm talking again with my good friend Sara Kuljis. Sara is the owner and director of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp. Sara offers popular parenting workshops in Southern California.

One of Sara's favorite workshop topics is about family "pace and space." In the podcast, she explains the research behind why it's important for us to step back and look at our family's schedule and if we're allowing enough time for sleep and reflection.

Want to listen to our previous episode? Episode 3: Raising Resilient, Independent Kids with Sara Kuljis

“A moderately paced schedule serves our children better.” -Sara Kuljis In Episode 7 of the podcast, I’m talking again with my good friend Sara Kuljis. Sara is the owner and director of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp. Sara offers popular parenting workshops in Southern California. One of Sara’s favorite workshop topics is […]

"Not WHO you are but HOW you are." -Erica Jameson

I learned a lot talking with Erica Jameson, the third-generation owner and director of Jameson Ranch Camp, a sustainable, working ranch in California's southern Sierras. Campers at Jameson learn how to take care of animals, live simply, and, as Erica says, "play in the dirt."

We covered a lot of topics in our conversation about both her own experience growing up at camp, what she focuses on now at Jameson, and her own parenting.

Community/Belonging

Erica and I talked about her experience growing up in the close-knit community at Jameson, as well as how she experienced camp being an introvert and stepping out of her comfort zone.

"I never felt "lost" because I always had this grounding at camp…"

"Camp made me a much 'richer' person and one who values friendships, even across long distances."

Being "Underwhelmed"

In her own parenting, Erica described figuring out how to be "underwhelmed." In Erica's words, "Being underwhelmed allows me to take everything in and go, 'okay' and then 'alright, well, that's new information, thank you.'"

Erica described the ability she's developed to "maintain calm when you are presented with something that could be a disaster."

In her words, "As a leader you don't have the luxury of panic!"

Clear Expectations

Erica talked about the importance of setting clear expectations with kids and anticipating in advance what could happen so they know their options!

Want to listen to previous podcasts? Ep. 5: Using a Growth Mindset with Jeff Cheley Ep. 4: Giving Kids' Phones a 'Vacation' Ep. 3 Raising Resilient, Independent Kids with Sara Kuljis

“Not WHO you are but HOW you are.” -Erica Jameson I learned a lot talking with Erica Jameson, the third generation owner and director of Jameson Ranch Camp, a sustainable, working ranch in California’s southern Sierras. Campers at Jameson learn how to take care of animals, live simply, and, as Erica says, “play in the dirt.” […]

In Episode 5 of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast, I interview Jeff Cheley, the 4th generation director of Cheley Colorado Camps, a world-renowned summer camp founded in 1921 in Estes Park, Colorado, by Jeff's great-grandfather.

Jeff is in his 18th year as director at Cheley and with his wife Erika is parenting three young sons. He has a business degree from the University of Texas, Austin, and serves in volunteer positions at the American Camp Association and with several Denver-based youth organizations.

Jeff and I talked about camp, his family, and what he's learned about using the growth mindset. Jeff mentioned several books he's found helpful as both a camp director and father, including:

Jeff also mentioned the following organizations: All Pro Dad American Camp Association

Want to listen to a previous episode of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast? Ep. 1: Raising Happiness with Christine Carter Ep. 2: 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs Ep. 3: Raising Resilient, Independent Kids with Sara Kuljis Ep. 4: Giving Kids' Phones a Vacation with Ashley Peters

In Episode 5 of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast, I interview Jeff Cheley, the 4th generation director of Cheley Colorado Camps, a world-renowned summer camp founded in 1921 in Estes Park, Colorado, by Jeff’s great-grandfather. Jeff is in his 18th year as director at Cheley and with his wife Erika is parenting three young sons. He has a […]

"We want this party to be with all the girls being present and in the moment with their friends." -Ashley, Parent

Ashley's Facebook post caught my attention - it was a photo of the text she had sent to the parents of the 22 (yes, you read that correctly, TWENTY-TWO!) girls invited to her 12-year-old daughter's sleep-over swim party.

I am sharing Ashley's ideas here so that other parents can decide if a "phone vacation" might be a good idea for a future social event. Perhaps we can start a trend of parents setting limits on screens and media usage not only for their own kids but for other kids they're hosting?

As soon as I saw Ashley's post, I shared it on my Facebook page with this comment:

"This is an absolutely brilliant way to set limits on phone use for a bday party! HOORAY, Ashley! I highly recommend copying her text for your child's future events -- what about even for when just one child comes over?

Until we parents decide to set limits and create space for our kids to enjoy each other and have fun without their screens, they will continue to follow the lead of the majority of the people in the world (adults and kids alike) and be glued to their phones and disconnected from real people. YAY for UNPLUGGED birthday parties! Let's start a new trend AND applaud and support parents who insist on real connection. If I had a 12-year-old daughter, I'd definitely want her at THAT party! "

How, as a parent in this unbelievably screen and media-focused era, do we best supervise other people's kids' phone use when they are with us?

This is something we all need to think about and decide what action we're willing to take.

Thanks to Ashley, we have some great ideas! First, we can let people know in advance about any planned screen-free time. Next, we can make it fun by having a "Phone Vacation" spot that makes it playful to give phones a break. (I'd like to use that one with adults, too!)

Ashley did a great job outlining her and her husband Chris' expectations for their daughter's party. Both the parents and the kids attending knew ahead of time what to expect - and weren't surprised - that this was going to be an "unplugged" event.

Before the event, she posted this comment with a picture of the empty "Phone Vacation" basket: "Drew's winter swim/sleepover party is on Friday, but my basket for the cell phones is already ready. I hope the girls who bring their phones are ready to send them on vacation for about 18 hours."

I was not surprised to learn from Ashley that the typical pre-teen sleep-over these days includes a lot of photos, videos, and social media posting. By explaining the reason for the "phone vacation," Ashley made it clear that this was to keep the party's focus on the fun and real connection. According to Ashley, most parents responded positively to her text. Only one parent wasn't happy about it, and they, of course, had the option of not having their daughter attend.

Because being "unplugged" is one of the central philosophies at my camp, I have done a lot of research on the benefits of screen breaks. I've also put a lot of effort into communicating our philosophy and policy to our camp community, including the details of how we stay unplugged at camp. (e.g. "No, e-readers are not allowed." "Yes, your camper flying from another country will have their phone while they travel.") Our campers and counselors willingly agree to give up their phones and any phone usage - even forgoing those precious SnapChat streaks - to come to camp. And it's comfortable because everyone else is doing the same thing. Soon they all realize how much more fun they are having without their phones, and many embrace their technology break and become believers in getting unplugged.

But it's a lot easier at an institution like a summer camp to be clear and consistent about screen use than it is at home. After all, most of us don't want to be "that" mom - the one who is "mean" or "unreasonable," especially with other people's kids. We want kids to have fun at our homes. I applaud Ashley for her willingness to go out on a limb by creating appropriate expectations ahead of time.

What the girls coming to the party would have otherwise expected - the kids who already have their own smartphones or iPads, at least - was that they would be using their devices throughout the event, taking and posting photos and videos, creating music.ly videos (according to Ashley, the latest preteen craze). Ashley and her husband Chris were not comfortable with the girls taking and posting photos and videos from their home, especially with girls being in swimsuits. I interviewed Ashley after the party to see how she decided to send this text and how the phone collection and the party went, and she had a lot of good news to report. You can listen to the interview on my podcast here.

Even before I chatted with Ashley, I knew the party (and the "phone vacation") was a success based on her Facebook post after the party: "When you can get 22 girls together for a sleepover, all of whom are in 6th grade, and there is no drama, no excluding, no whispering, no tears AND there are lots of hugs, manners, kindness, singing, and fun - you must thank the parents and the school for enforcing, reinforcing, and tolerating only the best for each of these girls. I am so very thankful my kids are a part of this."

I applaud Ashley and other parents who are making the effort to help foster more real connections and breaks from phones/social media! Let's keep sharing our ideas of ways to help our kids foster more real, face-to-face connections!

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] “We want this party to be with all the girls being present and in the moment with their friends.” -Ashley, Parent Ashley’s Facebook post caught my attention – it was a photo of the text she had sent to the parents of the 22 (yes, you read that correctly, TWENTY-TWO!) girls invited to her […]

In Episode 3 of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast, I interview my good friend Sara Kuljis about raising resilient, independent kids. Sara is a 20-year veteran camp director and parenting trainer who has great insights and ideas about parenting and counseling kids.

Sara, with her husband Steve, owns and directs Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp, a Christian adventure camp for children ages 8 to 16 years old founded 44 years ago by Sara's parents Jim and Marna Slevcove. Together, the Kuljises also direct Emerald Cove Day Camp in San Juan Capistrano, a day camp that serves children from kindergarten through 4th grade.

Among many other topics, we talk about how camp helps build independence and resilience in kids, as well as readiness for camp, college, and being away from parents and home.

Sara shares three great questions to ask kids after a challenging or new experience: 1. What did you enjoy/love? 2. What was challenging? 3. When (not if!) you do it again, what will you do differently?

Books Sara and I mention in the podcast include: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, Wendy Mogel How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims Present Over Perfect, Shauna Niequist The Opposite of Spoiled, Ron Lieberthe Social Intelligence: The Revolutionary New Science of Human Relationships, Daniel Goleman

Sara teaches parenting workshops in Southern California. Contact Sara to have her come speak to your group on parenting topics including: • Positive Behavior Shaping • Effective Affirmation • Pace of Life • Listening Skills

Here are some additional Sunshine Parenting posts related to the topics we discuss in Episode 3:

How Camp Helps Parents Raise Adults Ready for Adulthood Checklist Parking Your Helicopter What's the Best Age for Camp? Five Reasons Great Parents Send Their Kids to Camp Why Kids Need to Get Uncomfortable Who's Not Ready for College? Making Family Dinner Like a Campfire