Sunshine Parenting

"Parents are bombarded by technology. We're all under a lot of pressure. But we've somehow lost all sense about parenting when it comes to screens. And we have sense when it comes to other things. Our kids don't ask us for chocolate cake for breakfast every morning. And you know why? Because we've created the expectation that breakfast involves cereal and eggs and toast and fruit, and that's it. With technology, if we create the expectation in our home that we don't have screens on weeknights or we don't use screens at the table or we don't use screens at sleepovers, they will not bombard you everyday with 'Why can't I have a screen at this meal? Why can't I have a screen at this sleepover?' because they know what to expect. There's something about screens that makes us throw common sense and parenting sense out the window."

Naomi Riley

In Episode 26, I'm chatting with Naomi Riley about her recently published book Be the Parent, Please: Stop Banning Seesaws and Start Banning Snapchat: Strategies for Solving the Real Parenting Problems. Trained in journalism, author of several books on a variety of subjects, and mother of three, Naomi has many insights on children's need for boundaries when it comes to technology and screen time. She is a visiting fellow at the American Enterprise Institute and a former Wall Street Journal editor and writer whose work focuses on higher education, religion, philanthropy and culture. To find out more about Naomi's work--including published articles and books and speaking engagements--visit her website at naomiriley.com.

In the interview, we talk about many things, including the importance of finding like-minded parents and being upfront with other parents and kids about the technology rules in your house or car. We also discuss all the shiny new technology being used in schools and the importance of setting realistic expectations for our kids depending on their ages and avoiding situations (when possible) where we use technology as a babysitter (like at long dinners at fancy restaurants or swim meets, for example).

Other topics covered in this episode include:

• When smartphones/social media became so ubiquitous.
• How schools are handling phone policies.
• The benefits of summer camp experiences that offer a break from technology.
• How kids respond well to limits and parents need to rally together to set those limits. It's hard to be the only parent with screen rules.
• Things in the news - rise in anxiety and depression corresponding with smartphone use.
• How parents have been blindsided by tech stuff, especially with devices being used at school.
• How to handle phones at sleepovers.
• Naomi's answer to a 6-year-old playmate of her son's asking her for a device: "You are the device."
• Simple ways to set limits.
• The need for parents to trust the adults that you're child is with. You need to know that your school/camp/wherever you send your kid will get in touch with you if there is a problem. If you feel like your child isn't safe, then he/she shouldn't be there, with or without a phone.
• The importance of teaching kids to ask other adults for help if they need it.

Interested in Be the Parent, Please?

By Chuck Radke

This is an incredibly well-researched parenting book, one that blends seamlessly with examples from the author's life and the lives of many other parents. Each of its 10 chapters (Intro, 8 chapters, Conclusion) is chock-full of current or recent research and findings culled from reputable peer-reviewed journals and full-length books. I admire the depth and credibility of the sources. Despite the heavy scholarly orientation (it could be a dissertation), it does not read like a bland piece of academic writing or a loose collection of anecdotal information. The writing is nicely controlled, accessible, and appealing to an everyday reader. The author contextualizes for many of us forty-somethings the vast differences (and implicit dangers) between our childhoods and those our own kids now experience, and supports her findings with a fair amount of data (both from her own surveys and others) designed to be eye-opening (i.e., "42 percent of ten-year-olds believe they have the technological capability to hide things online from their parents"). If practical exercises are your thing, Schaefer Riley sprinkles throughout her book a number of "Tips for Cutting Back," each with an eye to mitigating kids' contact with screens, in many cases asking us to remember how we got through the ennui of our own childhoods (e.g., books, Rubik's cube, coloring books, dolls). Such practical tips, however, aren't so prevalent as to be distracting. In the end, it's Schaefer Riley's research and relevant examples that will make this book appealing to parents with children of any age. Amazon Description

Toddlers on tablets. Pre-teens on Tumblr. Thanks to a variety of factors—from tech companies hungry for new audiences to school administrations bent on making education digital, to a culture that promotes everyone as the star of their own reality shows—technology is irrevocably a part of childhood, and parents are struggling to keep up. What should be allowed? What should be denied? And, given the ubiquity of technology and its inherent usefulness, what do sensible boundaries even look like?

A noted columnist and mother of three, Naomi Schaefer Riley fully understands the seductive nature of screens. For example, an after­noon of finger painting equals enormous cleanup of both house and hands. But an afternoon of iPad games? Just a swipe and a charger. Or what about car rides around town? Always having toys and books on hand isn't a given, but your game-loaded smartphone is.

Riley draws us into her story and then walks us through the research on technology's encroachment into each stage of childhood. She then offers "tough mommy tips": realistic, practical, applicable advice for parents who recognize that unlimited technology access is a problem, but who don't know where to start in taking back control. These tips cover everything from placating an antsy toddler at your local favorite restaurant to best practices for keeping your teens safe from unsavory sites.

Any parent knows the effects of screens on their distracted, cranky, sedentary, and incessantly anxious-about-what-might-be-going-on-without-them kids. Naomi Schaefer Riley brings her experience, research, and no-nonsense candor to help parents prevent the children from falling under the destructive spell of technology.

Excerpted from Be the Parent, Please: Stop Banning Seesaws and Start Banning Snapchat. Published by Templeton Press. (c) 2018 Naomi Schaefer Riley.

When it comes to technology, parents must examine not only how they want their children to relate to the devices or how much of their time they want kids to spend texting or emailing or gaming or surfing. They need to decide something more fundamental—how their children are going to interact with the rest of the world.

It is not an exaggeration to say that giving your kids a cellphone is giving them the keys to the kingdom. There is a whole world out there that they can now access without your knowledge. That world, which will be constantly beeping at your child, will forever change him or her. It may change how your child views friendships, how he or she interacts with the outdoors, how he or she experiences time alone.

When we hand over phones and tablets to children, we are likely to be changing not only the information they can access but also their habits, their personalities, and their tastes. And while they may see their online life as a privilege -- if not a right -- we should also be honest enough to understand it as a burden. For the sake of our own convenience and their entertainment, we are giving up their freedom and perhaps even some of their happiness.

Tips for Cutting Back

Buy your child a watch and teach him or her how to use it. You may think that you need your kid to have a phone in order to arrange pickups and drop-offs, but you don't agree to meet at a time. You are not Uber. If something goes wrong, teach your child how to ask the adult present to contact you.

Play the memory game. If you're tempted to give kids technology because you can't figure out how else they would entertain themselves or communicate with you or their friends, ask yourself how you did it as a kid. The answer won't always be the right one, but it will give you perspective.

The book was recently featured in the Wall Street Journal, LA Times and Lifehacker.

"We want kids to learn to love the game."

-Steve Proulx

In Episode 25, I'm talking with Steve Proulx and Susan Reeder, the husband and wife team, along with daughter Aimee Reeder, who have owned and directed Carmel Valley Tennis Camp for the past 24 years.

Questions for parents to ask about sports/specialty camp programs

Is the camp accredited by the American Camp Association?

The primary purpose of the ACA-accreditation program is to educate camp owners and directors in the administration of key aspects of camp operation, particularly those related to program quality and the health and safety of campers and staff. ACA standards establish guidelines for policies, procedures, and practices. The camp is responsible for the ongoing implementation of these policies.

The second purpose of ACA accreditation is to assist the public in selecting camps that meet industry-accepted and government-recognized standards. ACA's Camp Database provides the public with eleven separate ways to search for the ideal ACA-accredited camp.

Who will be supervising my child every hour of the day?

Who will be looking out for my child's social and emotional needs?

Do you accommodate all levels of players?

What is your technology policy? Do you allow cell phones? Can they have access to them constantly? Any time limits?

What is the philosophy of the camp in regard to the sport?

What does the camp teach kids about sportsmanship and how to handle winning and losing?

"I'm here at the London Olympics, and I'd rather be at CVTC."

-Former CVTC Counselor

The CVTC philosophy is that they want kids to love tennis, so they encourage kids to play a variety of sports.

I learned so much from talking with Susan and Steve. I especially liked Steve and Susan's advice for parents of promising athletes, "Let them have fun with it!"

As well as Steve's input about how much to push kids, "I don't care what the sport is. If the child reaches a point where they're not loving it, they're not going to keep playing it, no matter how talented they might be... You're creating a job for a child."

For parents, we can take a cue from Steve and Susan and instead of asking our kids whether they won or lost, we can ask them:

How did you play?

What did you well?

What did you do poorly?

That will go a long way in teaching our kids about both their sport and life.

More pictures from CVTC, where kids love to play tennis AND enjoy doing other fun activities as well:

Resources/Related:

5 Reasons Not to Worry While Your Kid is at Camp

10 Reasons Great Parents Choose Summer Camp

This episode of the podcast is an excerpt from my interview with Jessica Alexander, co-author of The Danish Way of Parenting.

When we're so immersed in our own culture, we rarely take the time to step outside our ways and see if there may be some things we can learn from others, like a de-emphasis on competitive sports for kids.

In The Danish Way of Parenting (subtitled, "What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids"), authors Jessica Alexander and Iben Sandahl share that one of the best cultural practices of Danish parents is not judging other parents. So, if the Danes were assessing American parenting practices, most likely, according to the authors, they'd look for the positives in our competitive, self-focused, over-scheduled, and over-supervised craziness. What this book does so nicely is not focus on what American parents do wrong but instead shares a glimpse into a culture that is obviously doing some things right – they are, after all, the happiest people in the world!

I had the opportunity to interview Jessica Alexander, and it was refreshing to hear her insights. An American-born mother of two, she married a Dane and is raising her kids overseas (in Rome). Before her children were born, Alexander observed that Danish children seemed especially well-behaved and happy.

She explained, "I saw in Denmark a long time ago how well-behaved the kids were […] and I was really struck by it." She watched this phenomenon over the years and realized the Danes have it right. When her daughter was born, Alexander read many parenting books, but found herself always going to her Danish family and friends for advice. Without realizing it, that network became her "go to" for everything. "I really prefer the Danish Way," she said. "And then, one day, I was reading the Happiness Report, and I found out they were the happiest people 40 years in a row!"

Once she had her own kids (now ages four and seven), she started delving into the "why" of the phenomenon she had witnessed first-hand, and what came of it was her co-authored book. A quick read (just 103 pages) The Danish Way offers some straightforward and easy-to-digest wisdom about simple practices that come so naturally to the Danes. The practices, admittedly, may be easier read about than done, but offer some suggestions for a more connected and happy family life.

Play

We all know that research supports the importance of play for children's optimal development, yet our schools and our family schedules have not changed much to accommodate this knowledge. Despite compelling research, American kids are getting less, not more, recess and play time. Meanwhile, "Forest Kindergartens," exclusively outdoor preschools, are common in Denmark and other Scandinavian countries. A few have popped up in America, too, which is encouraging. The Danes value play and it shows in their children's daily lives and helps Danish children develop important social skills like empathy and teamwork.

Reframing

I loved Alexander's description of Danish "realistic optimism," and how Danes practice supportive language. She writes, "Danish parents are good at helping their children conceptualize their emotions and then guiding them into finding something more constructive, instead of a disparaging or limited belief" (p. 45).

I know I could use some more of this "reframing" skill!

Hygge

The most interesting, and perhaps most instructive, part of The Danish Way is the explanation of "hygee" (pronounce hoo-ga), a word that has no English translation, although "we-fullness" or "togetherness" could possibly suffice. Alexander experienced it for herself, firsthand: "I was exposed to it for years in Denmark, and I didn't realize what it was. They [the Danes] knew the rules of hygge intrinsically," she said.

Basically, hygge is a time for family or friends to gather in a drama- and complaint-free setting and just be together. They choose activities that are enjoyable for the group as a whole. No one person does the cooking and cleaning. Instead, part of the hygge experience is doing all the work together.

Alexander explained it as "Leaving the drama at the door. It's a safe psychological place that you enter into. No complaining. No negativity. No gossiping. That's not in the hygge place. You can play games, you can play cards, you can talk about good memories together, you help out, no technology. What's interesting about it is at first it can feel weird, because it's different from what you're used to doing. But it's so lovely and it's so worth it."

To help quantify the process, Alexander shares in her book the "Hygge Oath," which "includes all the unspoken rules of hygge and gives you this opportunity to talk about it with your family or whoever you are going to do it with."

Alexander summed up hygge as a "focus on 'we' time rather than 'me' time." Perhaps this collective aspect of Danish culture is what sets it apart so strikingly from our more individualistic, competitive culture.

She called it "we-fullness." I like that.

"The Danes do it a lot. It is in their vocabulary. I do think it's a major reason why they're so happy. They value this social connectedness so much."

"Scandinavia in general is very similar," Alexander said: "They totally hygge in Norway and Sweden and Finland, even though they don't have a word for it like the Danes do." I was reminded of my Swedish friends who get together to roast a pig and sing around Christmas time.

I asked Alexander if Danish kids are good about putting away their phones during hygge: "There is an awareness from the kids," she said. "Kids really do try to help out. It's kind of an understood thing, that if it's a real hygge thing, the kids know that for a certain period of time the phones go away. They're really good at helping out. It's this teamwork idea."

Similarities to Summer Camp

Alexander does not write about summer camp in her book, but I, of course, asked her if she knew about camp, because I recognized some similarities between the culture at camp and the Danish Way. She had attended camp as a child and said, "I think summer camp is an amazing place to implement the Danish Way. Unless a camp becomes uber-competitive, it's a great mirror of these practices." Nightly campfires are a great example of hygge!

She didn't end up writing about it in The Danish Way much, because she thought it might be too much for us American parents to take in, but she shared that in Denmark, "There is a lot of singing. It's super connecting when you start singing together." I had liked her book before, but after hearing her say that, I knew I could really relate to the "Danish Way!"

Resources/Related:

The Danish Way Recess Time in Europe vs America

My regular (and super-fun and wise) podcast guest, Sara Kuljis of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp, joined me on Facebook Live for this month's One Simple Thing topic: Peaceful Mornings. You can read more ideas in this month's post: 10 Solutions for Chaotic Mornings.

This podcast is the audio from Sara's and my Facebook Live discussion about creating more peaceful mornings with your family.

A few (of many) excellent tips from Sara:

1. Solve one little problem.
2. Let them face the natural consequences (not our barking and reminding!) of being late and remembering items.
3. You are the thermostat. Keep it warm (not hot). Make your morning conversations NOT about school and logistics. Send them off with encouraging words like, "I just want you to know how much I like you."

If you missed last month's One Simple Thing, you can read about it here: How to Have a Closer Family in 5 Minutes a Day.

Please share your ideas for more peaceful mornings - and any victories you have this month in making small changes - in the comments! Or, send me an email!

These really aren't 'tricks.'... In order for any of this stuff to work...you have to have a strong relationship with the kids you're trying to use these on.

-Maria Horner

In Episode 22, Maria Horner shares some of the important lessons she's learned as a mom and now passes along to her summer staff each year during counselor training at Catalina Island Camps.

"You know, those 'Jedi Mom Tricks' that you do to control my mind without ever yelling or getting mad."

-Nick Horner

Jedi Mom Trick #1: The Look & The Look with Head Tilt

Jedi Mom Trick #2: Give Choices (that are both acceptable)

Jedi Mom Trick #3: Clearly Communicate the Rules

Jedi Mom Trick #4: Ask Questions

I asked Maria to share some of her favorite parenting resources, and this is what she had to say:

Here are a couple of books that are a little "off the beaten track":

Good Influence: Teaching the Wisdom of Adulthood, by Daniel Heischman. He's the executive director of the National Association of Episcopal Schools. I read his book when Nick was in middle school and was struck but his premise that we should be raising our kids to be good instead of raising them to be happy….because while there are plenty of happy people who are NOT good, almost all really good people are also happy.

My Monastery is a Minivan, by Denise Roy. Hysterical.

The Blessings of a Skinned Knee, and LOVED Blessings of a B-, by Wendy Mogel

Resources

10 Ways to do LESS and be a MORE Effective Parent

Michael Brandwein

Dr. Chris Thurber

Book I quoted at the end of the podcast:

Note: I'm going to stop using my super powerful microphone that is picking up all kinds of background noises of my papers, notes, etc. Sorry for the distracting background noises in this episode.

"For me, I grew more appreciative of everything I have...I also learned that I am a happier and better person when I am outside and don't have my phone." Charlotte, talking about what she learned on her gap semester in Costa Rica

This week, I dropped my daughter off at her second college (the one she transferred to this year as a sophomore). She has several friends who also decided to transfer schools after their freshman year, so I know her college experience is not as unique as it seems.

On our epic road trip to Colorado, we talked about a lot of things - including her odyssey through the college process, what her friends have experienced, and where she's ended up this year. We're calling this her "College Restart" or "College 2.0." We've also had some laughs about what she called her "quarter-life crisis," when she decided, after returning home from her first year of college (which she mostly enjoyed) to transfer to a different school.

Because it's on the top of my mind (and the only thing I had time to do this week), I decided to interview Charlotte about the college process and talk about what we both learned over the past few years.

In Episode 21, Charlotte and I share some ideas about keeping the whole college application and selection process in perspective. Some of our tips include:

• Avoiding "Naviance" and statistics and instead focusing on which school's culture, focus, and location might be the best match.

• Beware of going overboard on SAT/ACT prep.

• Apply early (if you know where you want to go), so that you can enjoy the rest of your senior year without stress. Caveat: If you're not sure, don't do any "ED" applications (Early Decision, where you HAVE to go to the school if admitted).

• If there is a university that is closer to home (not two or three flights away) that is a good match, why not consider staying a bit closer, perhaps in the same region?

• Consider taking a "gap" year or semester (travel, work internship).

• Don't worry if you don't know what you're doing with your life. Most adults are still figuring it out.

• Get a feel for the culture before you decide! "Talk to people who you like, who are older than you. Visit and really get to know the school and the people." Charlotte

• Stop asking kids where they're going to college and what they're going to do with their life. They don't know yet (or think they do, but don't really).

During Charlotte's junior year, I wrote this post about the process of touring schools.

Here are some other posts I wrote for Charlotte and her friends as they headed off to college:

Conversations Before College: Who You are is More Important Than Where You Go

Conversations Before College: Honest Talk about Alcohol

Conversations Before College: Preventing Sexual Assault

Keeping in Touch with Your College Student

A 'Yes Brain' is one that is open and receptive and resilient. It's one that, even when something is really hard, we're willing to stick with it. -Tina Payne Bryson

In Episode 20, I'm chatting with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson about her latest book - The Yes Brain - co-authored with Dr. Daniel Siegel. I love this book and highly recommend that every parent, educator, and person who works with kids read it this year. I found it to be helpful not just in my work with kids but in understanding myself (and my own "Yes Brain"!) better.

Tina is a psychotherapist and the Founder/Executive Director of THE CENTER FOR CONNECTION in Pasadena, California, where she offers parenting consultations and provides therapy to children and adolescents. She earned her Ph.D. from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology. Dr. Bryson has an unusual knack for taking research and theory from various fields of science and offering it in a way that's clear, realistic, humorous, and immediately helpful.

Tina speaks internationally to parents, educators, camps, and clinicians. She is the co-author (with Dan Siegel) of the New York Times best-selling THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD and the New York Times best-selling NO-DRAMA DISCIPLINE, as well as her latest book, THE YES BRAIN.

Advance Praise for The Yes Brain:

"This unique and exciting book shows us how to help children embrace life with all of its challenges and thrive in the modern world. Integrating research from social development, clinical psychology, and neuroscience, it's a veritable treasure chest of parenting insights and techniques." – Carol Dweck, author of Mindset

"Bottom line: every parent wants to raise a strong-minded, resilient, caring child. We just don't know exactly how; we open our mouths and we sing our parents' tired refrain, "No... no...no." In The Yes Brain, Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's teach us how to cultivate a receptive, curious brain in our children. I have never read a better, clearer explanation of the impact parenting can have on a child's brain and personality." – Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author Raising Cain

"In today's busy, competitive culture, allowing our children the space to be themselves is more important than ever. This book provides an escape hatch from the high-stakes mindset. It is a parent's guide to ensuring health, happiness, and genuine success—a blueprint for raising confident, creative kids in a fear-based world. It's never too late to implement the science-based strategies that Dan and Tina share." –Vicki Abeles, producer and co-director, The Race to Nowhere and Beyond Measure

I also interviewed Tina in November on Facebook Live - Check out our video chat!

Earlier this year, I devoured Devorah Heitner's book Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World during a single plane trip. Heitner's insights changed my previously (and very opinionated) negative view of my kids' screen use.

I highly recommend all parents read Screenwise, as the book provides new insights into our kids' digital world and helps parents feel less afraid of tech. She teaches us how we can become "tech-positive" parents.

And while I'm still a proponent of being unplugged (as is Heitner), I now view my kids' (and my own) screen use in a more nuanced way. Screen use is not the black and white, evil versus good, proposition that it is often presented as in the sensational news pieces that fill our media feeds.

Heitner's work offers a refreshing perspective that relieves parental anxiety and offers simple parenting tips and easy-to-implement strategies to be a "tech positive" parent.

Heitner is the founder of Raising Digital Natives. She earned her Ph.D. in Media/Technology and Society from Northwestern University and has been working with communities, schools, and companies across the United States and beyond. Devorah speaks to schools, organizations, and corporations lead workshops and consult with educators on their toughest concerns in teaching kids to use tech in a smart way.

As Devorah describes: I'm here to take the fear out of this emotionally-charged topic and help you guide your kids towards empathy, kindness, and integrity. Getting this right sets kids up for a lifetime of success in a world where they are likely to find a job, meet their spouse, and build their reputations in interactive, digital communities.

I am thrilled to share this episode of the podcast which will introduce you to Heitner and her important work to help parents navigate raising "digital natives" who learn to use technology in a positive way. Heitner's book and our podcast interview inspired me to think more positively about technology. I hope they do the same for you!

Resources and Links:

Visit Heitner's Website, Raising Digital Natives, for a ton of excellent resources! Raising Digital Natives is a place for parents and educators to get practical, timely, and non-judgmental advice to set kids up for success in a digital world, and in life.

Order Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World!

If you'd like Devorah's ebook: A Dozen Tips for Raising Kids in the Digital Age, sign up here. This post, Every Day is Picture Day, is one of my favorites. It speaks to the photo craziness of this era and how to mentor our kids in their photo taking and posting.

Phonewise is an online class designed to take about 4 weeks (but you can return to the materials for the next year).

Earlier this year, I devoured Devorah Heitner’s book Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World during a single plane trip. Heitner’s insights changed my previously (and very opinionated) negative view of my kids’ screen use.

I highly recommend all parents read Screenwise, as the book provides new insights into our kids’ digital world and helps parents feel less afraid of tech. She teaches us how we can become “tech-positive” parents.

And while I’m still a proponent of being unplugged (as is Heitner), I now view my kids’ (and my own) screen use in a more nuanced way. Screen use is not the black and white, evil verses good, proposition that it is often presented as in the sensational news pieces that fill our media feeds.

Heitner’s work offers a refreshing perspective that relieves parental anxiety and offers simple parenting tips and easy-to-implement strategies to be a “tech positive” parent.

Heitner is the founder of Raising Digital Natives. She earned her Ph.D. in Media/Technology and Society from Northwestern University, and has been working with communities, schools and companies across the United States and beyond. Devorah speaks to schools, organizations, and corporations, leads workshops, and consults with educators on their toughest concerns in teaching kids to use tech in a smart way.

As Devorah describes:

I’m here to take the fear out of this emotionally-charged topic and help you guide your kids towards empathy, kindness, and integrity. Getting this right sets kids up for a lifetime of success in a world where they are likely to find a job, meet their spouse, and build their reputations in interactive, digital communities.

I am thrilled to share this episode of the podcast which will introduce you to Heitner and her important work to help parents navigate raising “digital natives” who learn to use technology in a positive way. Heitner’s book, and our podcast interview, inspired me to think more positively about technology. I hope they do the same for you!

Resources and Links:

Visit Heitner’s Website, Raising Digital Natives, for a ton of excellent resources! Raising Digital Natives is a place for parents and educators to get practical, timely, and non-judgmental advice to set kids up for success in a digital world, and in life.

Order Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World!

If you’d like Devorah’s ebook: A Dozen Tips for Raising kids in the Digital Age, 

In Episode 18, I talk with Tom Holland, a camp director and parent of four who has many excellent ideas for parents to teach kids to approach life with wonder and joy, learn leadership skills, enjoy the outdoors, and learn appropriate tech use habits.

Tom attended the camp he and his wife Katherine now own, Wilderness Adventures, as a teenager. There, Tom discovered a passion for adventure and outdoor education. The program led him to get involved in the summer camp industry while in college. An award-winning educator, Tom spent three years teaching social studies at the secondary level before he left the classroom to work at a camp in northwest Wyoming (Teton Valley Ranch).

After two years on the team, he was named the Executive Director, a role he held for six years. In 2013, he went on to work for the American Camp Association and held the roles of Chief Foundation Officer and Chief Executive Officer.

Known as a leading expert on the camp experience, Tom has spoken at both national and international conferences on youth development, the camp experience and children in the outdoors. He holds a B.A. in secondary education and an MBA from Washington University in St. Louis.

We talked about many topics near and dear to my heart, including:

• Getting Outside
• Benefits of Summer Camp
• Family Dinner
• Teaching Kids to Ask Questions
• Modeling Good Tech Use for Our Kids

I especially like Tom's idea of having his kids rotate leadership of the discussion at family dinner. What an amazing way to teach both leadership and good communication skills right around the dinner table! Tom shared one of his go-to parenting websites, specifically geared towards dads, Fatherly. I took a peak, and today's featured article was about celebrity dad Matt Lauer and what parents can learn from all the recent news about celebrities who use their powerful roles to harass and abuse. You can read a few of Tom's most popular articles here: https://www.wildernessadventures.com/2017/10/the-joy-of-music/ https://www.wildernessadventures.com/2017/07/heading-home/ To find out more about Wilderness Adventures, as well as Basecamp (his day camp in Jackson Hole, Wyoming), visit the Wilderness Adventures website. They have an awesome Trip Finder tool that helps you select the perfect outdoor adventure for your 5th-12th+ grader! I also found this American Camp Association video, The Gift of Camp, from a few years ago (when Tom was CEO). It seems appropriate to share with this podcast episode, since it's the holiday season and camp is one of my favorite gifts, too!