Sunshine State Stories

Elise and Chris reflect on their upbringings while discussing a FL Man who named his machete "Kindness". Man found with multiple syringes up his "prison wallet" that he claims aren't his, which checks out cause you don't know what's going on back there. Man throws chair in a Steak and Shake (which also happens to be the best place to spot celebrities in North FL) and then hides as a stack of tires. Finally we close on the war that no one's talking about: Aliens VS Chinese Dragons in Space. Someone get Space Force on the line.

Chris and Elise read mixed reviews from a Pensacola Waffle House and learn what they lack in Boy Scout they make up with bathroom ambience. A Fl Man puts the "ass" in trespASSing by getting caught jumping on his neighbor's trampoline in his birthday suit.  A FL Girl wins Homecoming Queen with a little help from nepotism and computer hacking, meanwhile a FL Man wakes up from surgery to find his wife and his gf waiting for him so they can put him back under.

May your jail sentence be as short and sweet as this episode. FL Man charged with having cocaine up where the sunshine don't shine, FL Woman charged with not being a witch, and another FL Person finds 70lbs of cocaine. We're not saying it was Chris, we're just saying we don't know where he goes for the weekends. Elise's parents provide some hot goss in their city of Apalachicola, FL with a man trying to set sail with his version of affordable housing.

God is telling the people of FL to do some wild acts on his behalf. A FL couple was told by God to have their wedding at a mansion. Unfortunately for the owner of the mansion, God forgot to send him an invitation. Another stole a whip and pitch fork to preach in the rain about God's glory from a Publix parking lot.  Elderly woman claims to own Google as she's getting arrested (but don't Google that!), and local FL law enforcement struggle to catch a pig on the loose.  Well folks, this one's a great listen on your way to church this Sunday Morning! God is great!

Someone shows up to a Publix in a very eye catching hat, a spoiled FL boy drives an expensive Christmas present into the ocean, while a Dr. Love is taking new patients (at least until his practice gets interrupted by the law). Elise remembers her first Bear Macing while Chris tries to wrap his head around a candle that costs more than a Yankee. The Queen would've loved Florida.

Free the horses, free the banana trees, and free your FL tattooed mind. FL man calls 911 for a ride home, another demands change from his city by planting banana trees in an unusual spot, while a drunk FL man tries to set horses free "Zelda: Ocarina of Time" style. Be sure to tip your Waffle House servers well, especially if you plan on leaving a 2 star Yelp review Karen.

How many My Cousin Vinny references can one podcast have? Not enough. Today Chris and Elise explore pythons in the everglades, cats in Elise's house, hammer wielding bank heists, and one FL Man pretending to be a lawyer to get his own case dropped. Catch this episode if you can! 

FL lawyer and real estate agent gets naked to prove sobriety (this time it's not Elise), police officer pursues drunk woman on suitcase in a low speed chase at MCO, magnet fishermen find enough guns to arm a small island, and there's someone in Port Charlotte is missing their fat boy (this time it's not Chris). If you know where to find a motorized suitcase email us a link!

Monkey Pox can't slow down the FL Man! FL Man wears a F*ck the Police shirt to court, road rage leads to a man bringing a knife to a gunfight, concerned neighbors take a FL Man to the hospital only to have him return the favor by parking a stolen ambulance at their house, and an enamoured fish store patron tries to bait the cashier with a date. Chris talks sports stadium bathrooms and Elise continues to spread alternative facts.

Sometimes the FL Man does things that we can't approve of but we can still understand the motive. ATM spitting out too much of your money? Punch it. Need to prove to the world you can spell? Write it in the sky. On trial for public intoxication? Show up to the hearing drunk. Don't drink and drive, unless it helps you get those kids to school on time (kidding). Happy Sunday to everyone! Except Connecticut.