Supporting Physician Spouses

Life in medicine can feel like one long stretch of "hard." Between call schedules, solo parenting, and the constant shifting ground of medical life, it's easy to believe something must be wrong when things feel heavy. But what if "hard" isn't something to fix—what if it's something to honor and even grow through?

In this heartfelt conversation, Kendra and Katie get real about what it means to embrace both the hard and the hope in the physician spouse journey.

This episode will leave you encouraged, grounded, and equipped with simple steps to hold both gratitude and struggle at once—and to remember that you're not alone in either.

• The importance of acknowledging what's hard without judgment

• Why avoiding discomfort can make it worse (and what to do instead)

• How to recognize the "healing fantasies" we create—and use them as roadmaps for growth

• Real talk about solo parenting, resentment, and self-compassion

• Practical ways to use your agency and take imperfect action

• Why naming your hard moments out loud brings relief and connection

• Acknowledge the hard: Naming it doesn't make you weak—it makes you human.

• Hold the both/and: Life can be hard and beautiful. You can love your spouse and feel lonely.

• Use your fantasies as feedback: The ideal scenarios in your head often point to your deepest needs.

• Take agency: Even small action brings peace faster than waiting for circumstances to change.

• Speak it out loud: Connection starts when we stop pretending we're fine.

We're opening Supporting Physician Spouses Office Hours — a free, monthly video gathering where you can bring your real questions, pain points, and experiences to the table.

It's a safe, supportive space to say out loud what's hard—and find clarity, connection, and community as we navigate this medical life together.

🖥️ Join the waitlist at supportingphysicianspouses.com to get notified when the next Office Hour opens.

• Website: supportingphysicianspouses.com

• Instagram: @supportingphysicianspouses

• Email: [email protected]

In this heartfelt episode of Supporting Physician Spouses, Kendra and Katie pause to acknowledge the heaviness in our world right now. With tragic shootings, heartbreaking losses, and ongoing uncertainty, many of us feel shaken and weary. Together, we explore what it means to steady ourselves when the world feels unsteady—and how to cultivate peace that is both grounding and real.

We walk through six steps that help us (and can help you) navigate turbulent times:

1. Return to the Basics — Sleep, water, nourishment, and movement aren't luxuries; they are anchors for your nervous system.

2. Let the Hard Be Hard — Peace doesn't come from denial. Acknowledging pain allows us to process it without rushing to fix.

3. Lean into Faith and Values — Reconnect with your higher power, your community, or the values that give life meaning.

4. Focus on What You Can Control — Even small actions, like tidying a space or decorating with your kids, help restore calm.

5. Connect with Others — Peace is often carried communally. Don't isolate; reach out for support or offer it to someone else.

6. Look for Flecks of Gold — Joy and sorrow can coexist. Notice the small, shining mercies and moments of tenderness that remind you of goodness.

Along the way, we share personal stories—feeling discombobulated, finding grounding through walks or decorating, the power of a kind text, and the simple healing of connection.

Whether you're a physician spouse navigating the added weight of medicine's demands or simply someone searching for steadiness right now, this conversation offers both practical tools and gentle reminders: you are not alone, peace is possible, and the small things really do matter.

Referenced Episodes:

• Ep. 3 & 4 — The Basics of Self-Care

• Ep. 7 — Who's in Your Corner? Building a Strong Support System as a Physician Spouse

• Ep. 8 — Spiritual Self-Care When Life is Loud

Listen in, take what steadies you, and remember: even in heavy times, flecks of gold can still be found.

In this heartfelt episode of Supporting Physician Spouses, Katie and Kendra welcome Katie's husband, Dr. Talon Harris, a 3rd year FM resident, for a candid conversation about the realities of medical training, marriage, and family life. From childhood crushes to the challenges of residency leadership, the Harris family story shines a light on resilience, faith, and partnership in the physician spouse journey.

Together, they explore:

• The Harris family's love story — from first grade to marriage and medicine.

• How setbacks, rejections, and divine interventions shaped Talon's path to medical school.

• What it means to pursue leadership as a resident while raising three young children.

• Imposter syndrome in medicine — and practical advice for overcoming it.

• Program culture: how family-friendly residencies make a difference.

• Balancing home and hospital life with intentionality and small daily rituals.

• The importance of vulnerability, mental health awareness, and leaning on support systems.

This episode is both real and encouraging — a reminder that behind every physician's journey is a family navigating the highs, lows, and in-betweens together.

Ep 16: Katie in the Hot Seat – Life, Residency, and Resilience

In this episode, the tables turn—Katie steps into the hot seat as Kendra interviews her about her journey as a physician spouse. From meeting her husband back in elementary school to navigating medical school, residency, and raising three kids, Katie opens up about the highs, lows, and lessons along the way.

She shares her unique match-day story (involving balloons and a happy dance), what she feared most about starting residency, and the surprising ways her faith and community supported her family during hard seasons. Katie also reflects on the pressure-cooker effect medical training has had on her marriage, what she would tell her younger self, and the decisions that have made residency more sustainable for her family.

If you've ever wondered what life really looks like behind the podcast mic, this is the perfect episode to get to know Katie better.

Episode Highlights

• 00:00 Welcome & Katie in the Hot Seat
• 01:00 How Katie Met Her Husband & Their Wedding Story
• 03:00 Match Day Balloons & Residency Adventure
• 07:00 Fears and Excitement Entering Residency
• 09:00 Finding Support & Preparing Mentally for the Journey
• 10:00 Advice to Her Younger Self
• 12:00 Facing Rotations & Hard Seasons
• 13:00 Looking Ahead: Life After Residency
• 15:00 Living Like a Resident & Housing Choices
• 16:00 How Medical Training Has Impacted Marriage
• 18:00 The Best Decisions That Made Residency Easier
• 19:00 Staying Present & Finding Joy

Resources & Links

• Follow along with more episodes
• Connect with us on Instagram
• Want to share your story or feedback? Take our listener survey here.

✨ Loved this episode? Share it with another physician spouse who could use some encouragement today. And don't forget to leave a quick rating and review—it helps more spouses find the support they need.

In this episode, Kendra welcomes Dr. Sarah Grimmer, a licensed clinical psychologist with a PhD in clinical psychology, to discuss her groundbreaking research on physician spouse burnout, secondary traumatic stress, and the program she has developed to support medical families.

Sarah shares her personal journey of balancing PhD studies and family life while her husband pursued a medical career. (Can you imagine?? 🤯) The conversation explores:

• How secondary traumatic stress affects physician spouses

• The prevalence of anxiety, depression, and suicidality among spouses

• Key findings from Sarah's research and what surprised her most

• The importance of resilience and how medical life impacts families

• A new digital video series to support physician families virtually

The episode also highlights collaboration with the Tarrant County Medical Society Alliance and Sarah's upcoming research presentation at the American Conference on Physician Health.

• Dr. Sarah Grimmer, PhD

  • Instagram: @drsarahmedlife

  • Email: [email protected]

  • Research Paper: When perceived physician burnout leads to family burnout: How secondary emotional trauma impacts physician spouses

• Register for WellRounds (Sarah's virtual program through the Tarrant County Medical Society Alliance): 👉 Event Registration

• Upcoming Discussion Groups

  • September 16, 2025 — 12:00 PM & 8:00 PM CT

• 00:00 – Introduction and Guest Welcome

• 04:05 – Meet Dr. Sarah Grimmer

• 05:07 – Balancing PhD and Medical Residency

• 06:17 – Research on Physician Spouse Burnout

• 08:04 – Understanding Secondary Traumatic Stress

• 10:29 – Collecting Data and Surprising Findings

• 13:03 – Suicide Awareness and Statistics

• 14:20 – Resilience and Medical Life Impact

• 16:34 – New Digital Video Series for Medical Families

• 19:25 – How to Participate and Register

• 21:40 – Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Today's episode is something special—we asked you, our listeners, to send in the questions you've always wanted answered from the physician's perspective. The result? A candid, insightful conversation with Dr. Adrian Harvey, neurosurgeon, husband to our co-host Kendra for 21 years, and father of five.

Adrian opens up about his unexpected path into medicine, meeting Kendra in the middle of medical school, and what it's really like to balance one of the most demanding professions with raising a family. Together, Kendra and Adrian reflect on:

✨ How they grew from "survival mode" in residency to a true partnership ✨ What worked (and what didn't) when it came to protecting each other during training ✨ The role counseling, mentors, and personal growth played in strengthening their marriage ✨ Practical ways they share the mental load and keep connection alive, even in busy seasons ✨ Why self-care (for physicians and spouses) matters more than ever—and what that looks like in their home

Whether you're in the thick of medical training, newly adjusting to "post-residency life," or years into this journey, you'll find both honesty and hope in this conversation.

• Episode with Kendra on her perspective of training years

• Jennifer Finlayson-Fife & Jody Moore (mentors mentioned by Kendra)

👉 Follow the podcast: Supporting Physician Spouses 👉 Join our community on Instagram: @supportingphysicianspouses 👉 Share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement on the medical journey

💬 Kendra Harvey's Journey as a Physician Spouse

In this special episode of Supporting Physician Spouses, Katie flips the script and interviews her co-host and friend, Kendra Harvey.

Normally the one guiding conversations, today, Kendra shares her own story of walking alongside her husband through medical school, residency, fellowship, and beyond. She opens up about the early years of marriage and motherhood, the loneliness and resilience that shaped her, and how those experiences inspired her to create her coaching business, It Gets Better Now.

This conversation is honest, hopeful, and full of encouragement for every physician spouse navigating the demands of medicine.

📍 Inside the episode:

• Kendra's first years as a med school spouse and new mom without a support system

• The blog that became her outlet (and eventually a lifeline for others)

• Why "it gets better" isn't the full truth—and what really makes the difference

• How life coaching gave her tools to support other spouses

• Her vision for systemic change in supporting physician families

Whether you're just beginning the medical journey or years into it, Kendra's story reminds us that you don't have to figure it out alone.

✨ Connect with Kendra on Instagram @kendra_itgetsbetternow

✨ Connect with us: Instagram @supportingphysicianspouses

💌 If this episode encouraged you, please leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps other physician spouses find our community.

In the chaos of medical life—whether it's long shifts, away rotations, or simply the nonstop pace—connection with your partner can slip to the bottom of the priority list. But it doesn't have to stay there. In this special solo minisode, Katie shares practical, research-backed strategies for quickly and meaningfully reconnecting with your partner—without adding pressure, guilt, or resentment.

Drawing on insights from Dr. Wayne Sotile, Dr. Tait Shanafelt, and The Gottman Institute, you'll learn why micro-moments of connection matter, the science behind what works, and easy-to-implement scripts you can start using today.

You'll also hear how four powerful mindsets—Meaning, Wonderment, Incorporation, and Realistic Optimism—can shift your perspective and strengthen your bond, even during high-stress seasons.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• Why "small tidbits" of connection can be more powerful than grand gestures

• Dr. Wayne Sotile's findings on physician families and resilience

• Dr. Tait Shanafelt's research on burnout and its ripple effects at home

• The Gottman Institute's key predictors for lasting relationships

• Definitions and practical applications of Meaning, Wonderment, Incorporation, and Realistic Optimism

• How to apply simple scripts to re-engage with your partner in under 5 minutes

• Why prioritizing these micro-moments is not selfish—it's essential

Resources & References:

• Dr. Wayne Sotile – The Sotile Center for Resilience

• Dr. Tait Shanafelt – Mayo Clinic & Stanford Research on Physician Well-being

• The Gottman Institute

Let's Connect:

• Follow along on Instagram: @supportingphysicianspouses

• Share this episode with a fellow physician spouse who could use a quick connection boost

• Subscribe so you never miss an episode

Summary: In the last two episodes, we explored how medical life can hijack your identity—and how to reclaim it. Now we're getting practical. In this conversation, Katie and Kendra share real-life tools to help you live into your reclaimed identity even in the middle of chaos, fatigue, and unpredictable schedules. You'll hear personal updates (including hawk encounters, Jane Austen pilgrimages, and college tours), plus a deep dive into how to make habits stick when life is anything but calm.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• Why "waiting for the right season" to start new habits means you'll probably never start.

• How to use floors and ceilings to beat all-or-nothing thinking.

• The power of tiny habits—and why a 30-second action counts.

• How to apply habit stacking so your new routines naturally fit into daily life.

• A real-time example of building a stillness habit (and overcoming all the excuses along the way).

• Why celebrating even the smallest wins matters more than you think.

Resources & Links Mentioned:

• The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (Einstein Time concept)

• The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy (penny-doubling story)

• VIP event details for the AMA Alliance Western States Regional Meeting (Salt Lake City, Sept. 18–20)

Listener Challenge: Choose one identity you want to grow into, pick a habit that supports it, and define:

• Floor: the smallest possible version (takes less than 1 minute).

• Ceiling: the fullest expression when conditions are ideal. Then, stack it onto something you already do every day and celebrate when you complete it—no matter the size.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, "When residency is over… then I'll finally…"? You're not alone. For many physician spouses, it feels like our dreams and identity are on pause until "someday." But what if you didn't have to wait?

In this episode of Supporting Physician Spouses, we dive into how to start living as the future version of yourself—right now. Inspired by James Clear's Atomic Habits and Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic, we share a roadmap for moving from identity → process → outcome, plus real-life stories of following desire in imperfect seasons.

Here's what we cover:

• [00:00] Welcome & Host Check-In: Life updates, birthday reflections, and med student insights

• [04:30] Exploring Identity: The importance of becoming your future self now

• [08:00] James Clear's 3 Layers of Behavior Change: Identity, process, outcome

• [11:30] Starting with Identity vs. Starting with Goals

• [14:15] Desires as Breadcrumbs: Following your deep wants as clues to your future self

• [17:45] Big Magic & Creative Courage: How small acts spark big change

• [21:30] Following Desire Through Residency & Beyond: Real-life story

• [25:15] Faith, Fear & Taking Leaps Without Knowing the Outcome

• [27:45] Visioning Exercise: Naming your future self and core beliefs

• [30:30] Making Space for Desire: Planning and prioritizing amidst busy life

• [32:30] Closing Encouragement & Final Thoughts

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

• Previous episode: Spiritual Self-Care for the Physician Spouse