The BPD Love Paradox

Why does someone with Borderline Personality Disorder crave deep love—only to sabotage and destroy it when it arrives? In this episode of Surviving BPD Relationship Breakup Podcast I explore the heartbreaking paradox at the center of BPD. From BPD self-fulfilling prophecies, the acting out of unconscious BPD repetition compulsions, and defensive splitting to the tragic pattern of testing love until it breaks, A.J. Mahari compassionately unpacks why intimacy feels both irresistible and terrifying to those with BPD. Whether you're loving someone with BPD or navigating the disorder yourself, this episode offers clarity, empathy, and a path toward healing.

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This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
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the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

The BPD Fantasy Why Codependents Are Stuck

(From My Codependency Inside Out Surviving Cluster B Podcast)

The BPD Fantasy of who you thought they were and then that loss, over and over again, is why Codependents are stuck in the Fantasy and Trauma Bond abandoning self not knowing how to face your own multi-layered pain now. The idea of letting go feels like an imminent ending to who you used to be, who you have lost in the BPD relationship that was a BPD Fantasy.

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This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

BPD Fragmented Self Blocks Connection and Communication

BPD fragmented self blocks connection and communication. I dive deeply into the core reason a person with (especially untreated) BPD cannot hear you or see you. These are toxic relationships. When you are relating to a person with BPD in any relationship type, there is no "we". No mutuality, no reciprocity. They don't see you or hear you and in this podcast episode I get to the core of why and how Borderline Personality is a relationship disorder of disconnection and inability to attach and communicate that persists due to the fragmented lack of self in every person with Borderline Personality (unless and and until extremely well treated over 8-16 years in a psychodynamic modality of specialized BPD treatment.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
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https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soon

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

BPD Triggers Explained

BPD Triggers Explained. What do you still need to understand or understand more about people with Borderline Personality and what triggers them and why? Do you still feel like their triggered responses, emotional dysregulation, splitting on you and blaming you for everything means that their triggers are your fault?

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
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https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soon

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

Is Codependency Really an Addiction?

From my Codependency Surviving Cluster B Relationships Podcast

An often asked, and I think, an often misunderstood question where Codependency is concerned. My answer in this podcast to "Is Codependency Really an addiction" with my 35 years  experience working with clients in Codependency recovery is, "yes" and "no" and I think that this approach gives my clients the best of "both" possible asserted "understandings" of Codependency.

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https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Surviving BPD Relationship Breakup Podcast
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BPD Ego Syntonic vs Ego Dystonic & BPD Alloplastic Defenses

In BPD people with (especially) untreated BPD have ego syntonic alloplastic defense mechanisms. This leaves so many people who were or are still trying to relate to someone with BPD as a partner, friend, favorite person, etc walking on eggshells and at the same time experiencing crazy-making painful toxic relational dynamics.

What does BPD Ego syntonic alloplastic defenses truly mean for you? People with BPD here you mention a feeling of yours and feel that you are attacking them.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
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https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soon

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

Borderline Persecutory Object - Invisible Partners and Exes

Borderline persecutory object, a psychoanalytic concept, within Objects Relations Theory, that explains so much about Borderline Personality Disorder. This is the path to truly understanding the results of BPD splitting, perception, unconscious repetition compulsions re-experiencing and re-enactment in BPD that captures the core of understanding so many individual core elements of Borderline Personality disordered "relating" that just does not work.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soon

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcast lists.

BPD Misinformation Hurts Borderlines and Codependents

BPD misinformation hurts people with Borderline Personality and it hurts Codependents and loved ones. There is growing "professional misinformation" about BPD out there, and it doesn't help anybody heal. BPD is not 100% heritable, nothing like that is known at all. BPD is a combination of nature and nurture (lack of nurture). People with BPD can recover. People with BPD are not all the same and the globalized narrative by so many who have been traumatized by someone with BPD serves no one. Every individual with BPD is an individual just as every person with Codependency is also an individual.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
https://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soon

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
Podcasts lists.

https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/
https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

BPD “Remission” Flawed & False Hope

BPD remission is very difficult to define or describe or even rely on apart from a very not helpful base definition of it. BPD remission is not a measurable constant across many, let alone most with BPD in treatment at all.

Is BPD remission really a helpful measure for Codependents wanting to keep trying an unhealthy relationship? Does the definition of BPD remission make sense in any "standard" way that can be generally applied?

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This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Excusing BPD Behavior is Codependent Externalization

Excusing BPD behavior is what so many people with Codependency do and it is a function of Codependent Externalization and need for taking more personal responsibility for yourself - not how anyone with BPD treated you terribly. It is important to get into a healing and recovery journey in therapy to break the trauma bond, learn to focus more on yourself, and to stop externalizing out your needs that can't be met by a person with BPD. Codependent needs that you need to learn how to meet internally for yourself.

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This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025