Want a BPD Ex Back? Fantasy Bond & Unanswered Questions

Want a BPD Ex back? It's the fantasy bond and wanting answers to unanswered questions. Questions that most (especially untreated) with Borderline Personality don't know the answers to. They are too defended, more often than not, to even try to "communicate" with you. 

The fantasy of getting a BPD Ex back after they ghost you and END a relationship - it really has an end that most won't, don't and/or can't accept. It's fantasy bonds and unconscious Codependent repetition compulsions that continue to drive your limbo of lostness and agony with you believing you can somehow get them back, get answers, to make it work. That just does not work and you continue to abandon yourself in this process.

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Unknowingly Loving a Borderline Suddenly Ghosted

Unknowingly loving a Borderline and suddenly ghosted? Wondering what on earth just happened? Maybe you know now you were loving a Borderline and were suddenly ghosted. It's a terribly traumatic experience knowingly or unknowingly. Many in wanting the BPD Ex back relationship recycle and may have been ghosted multiple times.

Everyone wants the Borderline back immediately. The pain of being ghosted is terrible. Many just want that pain to go away not realizing that if you can get your BPD Ex back you are only going to find temporary relief from your pain due to intermittent reinforcement - which will not last, just like these relationships and relationship recycling don't last.

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BPD On/Off Relationship Can You Change To Make It Work?

In a BPD on/off relationship? Are you wondering, can I change, like heal some Codependency, and have more energy and tolerance to make a BPD relationship
work?

Have you been ghosted and so want your BPD Ex back? Maybe you've been
discarded, and you are emotionally terrified that you won't hear from that person 
ever again? What can you do to change? Anything? Can it work?


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Borderline Disconnectedness and Inability To Relate

As a BPD survivor, I recovered almost 40 years ago, I explain the deep and extremely pervasive abyss of Borderline Personality and the profound disconnectedness that drives all aspects of Borderline behaviour (abuse) and inability to relate in healthy, consistent, or congruent, even remotely healthy ways in relationships. 

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast Website

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Want BPD Ex Back Holding Out Hope?

Are you holding out hope that you can get your BPD Ex back? Like so many people, most with Codependence, many Ex's of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, continue to give so much power and control of their lives, and selves to a person with BPD. 

If you really believe that you need to contact your BPD Ex because if they respond angrily or in further devaluation of you then, and only then, they will "force" you into to having to accept that the "relationship is really over?" Your relationship is, actually, already over. If you make contact and reverse hoover your BPD Ex and they devalue you again, you are not going to be able to actually then just move on. You are trapped in the fantasy bond and the deeper trauma bond. Therapy is your only way out of all the pain and rumination.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast Website

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BPD Arrested Emotional Development and Object Other Relating

BPD arrested emotional development and Object Other Relating. For more people than not with Borderline Personality (male and female) their early childhood emotional development arrests by or before the age of 2 years. People with BPD and/or all the patterns of BPD were not able in childhood to go through the crucial stages of early childhood development and that arrested emotional development is when and why people with BPD don't know who they are.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast Website

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Lost Yourself To A Borderline?

Have you lost yourself to Borderline? A partner, Ex partner, girlfriend or boyfriend, or person close to you with Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you aware of Codependency? Are you learning any helpful lessons?

One man blames God, calling him a "farce" after a relationship with a woman, who "trapped him into her getting pregnant" and now thinks the "farce relationship" was his relationship to and with God, when it was really the BPD relationship. This man whose comments I respond to also thinks, now, that God can't exists because Borderlines exist.

Whether you can relate or not to this man's blaming God instead of the person with BPD and taking his small piece of personal responsibility or not please listen to see if you can relate and substitute your own lostness and feeling separated by something you valued in your life and/or about yourself before the devastation of the BPD relationship.

ajmahari.ca/sessions
survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast Website

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BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding
BPD idealization in the beginning of a significant other relationship
creates a fantasy bond. People with BPD, not having any stable sense
of self, are intense and want (often) immediate "relationship on". After
the person with BPD splits you to a major devaluation, you will not ever
be able to be re-idealized.
People with Codependency (often unaware of this) are very emotionally 
hungry - needing validation and reassurance (from childhood woundedness)
feel fantastic, your feelings in the BPD idealization phase increase your sense
of self-worth and self-esteem until the ruptured splits of BPD devaluation start
happening.
If you are ghosted and/or discarded you've lost yourself so much to focusing
intensely on the person with BPD, trying, in vain, to get back to that beginning
and how great everything felt. Codependents after a BPD Breakup find it feels
next to impossible to not get that idealizing person with BPD back to re-capture
the elusive - not ever going to happen again - idealization phase and who you
thought the person with BPD was.

https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Blog
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcasts & Blog
https://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & more
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Borderline Betrayal and Its Insidious Impact on You

Borderline betrayal and its negative, painful impact on you.
Anyone close to any person with BPD will experience Borderline
Betrayal and the very real consequences to "self" that result from
BPD betrayal. 

People with Codependency have a suggestible enough core wound
that the impact of Borderline betrayal causes untold damage,
rumination, cognitive dissonance, self-abandonment, and often longing
for the person with BPD who betrayed you to still be in relationship with you
or needing so badly to understand, to not feel like everything was your fault.

The immense struggle of lack of closure also takes its toll in more cases than not.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions 
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

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BPD Awareness Can't Save Relationships

BPD awareness can't save relationships and doesn't mean changed behaviour (spelling Canadian now :) When a person with BPD has
intellectual awareness and can even talk about things at times, too many partners get fooled. Why fooled? Because too many people think that BPD awareness means "they get it" they can change. But emotionally, they don't get it. Whenever a person with BPD is triggered that awareness is lost and behaviour and lack of personal responsibility keep happening.

BPD awareness without therapy can't save relationships and doesn't translate into actual change or better relating or any increased understanding of how they effect others. Codependents often feel more fantasy false hope believing that what a person with BPD can say intellectually, between episodes means "hope" for change and the relationship - sadly, this is not true.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com 

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
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