Sweet Valley Diaries

Outtakes, b-roll, and real talk about the actually important moral of HEART BREAKER. Marissa is joined once more by former youth body-surfing competitor Russ Nickel, who points out all the dad jokes in the book and reads some favorite passages. 

Now that all that coma/personality swap/assault unpleasantness is behind us, let’s get back to what really matters in Sweet Valley: the beach, boys, and miscommunications involving suntan lotion. Marissa is joined by Russ Nickel, funny guy, writer, and former beach boy (not the singing kind…though he does sing in this episode).

This is the book about Bill Chase giving Dee Dee Gordon surfing lessons, some sexy Todd-interloper named Patsy, and the school play, Splendor in the Grass. 

We’ve read about fictional 1980s highschoolers, but what is it like to play one on TV?! Alex Jennings, who plays Carla on ABC’s The Goldbergs, is uniquely equipped to answer this question. But mostly we just talk about dry shampoo, what it would be like if Carla had a twin, and “enjoying the release of crying,” whatever that means.

In this tearful conclusion to the Sweet Valley High series, Elizabeth stays in a coma forever…PSYCH! But seriously, has Elizabeth awoken only to find that the events of DEAR SISTER are a fate worse than death? Actress Alex Jennings and Marissa give a wide-eyed play-by-play to a book that reads like the unholy lovechild of Freaky Friday and General Hospital. 

Heads up: Due to forces beyond our control, this episode has a higher f-bomb count. Plan accordingly.

What's more dramatic than a dramatic reading? Just to keep us all on our toes, here's something new: an impromptu audio drama rendition of the final paragraphs of Book 6, DANGEROUS LOVE – the very paragraphs that lead up to our ultra gargantuan cliffhanger and the extremely extra, extremely dramatic Book 7, DEAR SISTER. Enjoy!

Strap on your hot pink crash helmet! Just after Valentine’s Day comes a tale to warm the heart and then chill it so fast that it bursts and ruins your freezer. Pop culture lover and all-around funny gal Denise Boylan joins Marissa to unpack this tale of private jealousy, romantic gestures, and innuendo. Hot Clam Special, anyone?

#TIMESUP, Scott Daniels!

Guests Jess and Brian Reece talk with Marissa about consent, Encyclopedia Brown, and fan mail(!!!).

What happens when Jessica Wakefield defies her parents and stays out ALL NIGHT LONG with a sleazy, pornstachioed college guy? No, seriously, I'm asking YOU: What happens??! Listen in as Marissa and her guests, Jess and Brian Reece, enumerate the many ways they were scandalized by Book 5 of the Sweet Valley High series.

When did class snob Lila Fowler become the generous type? Why is Jessica Wakefield suddenly draped in old lady luxury from "Lila's Aunt"? Who does that bitchy clerk at Lisette's think she is?

Marissa dials up her BFF Mary Kate Battles again to discuss these and other facet's of POWER PLAY's B-Story, a saga of parental neglect and *extremely* petty theft.

Click here for a "photo" of Lila cruising in her loud car.

Yes, it's THAT book. The one where Robin Wilson is publicly shamed, doesn't get into PBA, retreats inward, starves herself, loses a million pounds, and then becomes fun and popular. High school BFFs Marissa and her guest, photographer Mary Kate Battles, have some rather strong feelings about all this. 

Side note: It's the first ever remotely recorded episode of the podcast, and it's got the weird audio to prove it! Also, we gratefully welcome our first sponsor The Dairi Burger! ;)