Sweet Valley Hive

Grief comes in waves and so does Deja Vu, because we’re feeling like we’ve read this book before.

Join us as for a discussion of the challenges of life after love, theories of bereavement, and a brief tangent on whether Walt Disney was a Nazi on this week’s episode, “Famously Actively Grieving” (Sweet Valley High #24, Memories).

We hate to see him go, but we love to watch him leave. This week, we’re pouring one out for Turd--oops, we mean Todd--who’s off to Vermont to live his flannel lumbersexual fantasy.

Without Todd, Elizabeth is forced to face hard questions about the future: is she as independent as she thought? Is she actually in love with the fabulously rich and handsome Nicholas Morrow? Is it possible to be impartial at a regatta?

Plus, we get a window into the world of online dating in the 80s with Jessica’s new gig at the Perfect Match Computer Dating Agency.

Can one be too much in love? Can one have not enough lashes? 

This week the kids are struggling with the complexities of relationships, dealing with a tragically mismanaged talent show, and throwing the party to end all parties because–did we forget to mention?–The Wakefield parents are off to Mexico City, leaving the girls home alone to get into classic domestic appliance disaster high jinks!

What makes a perfect summer? If you’re anything like us, you’re picturing a bear attack, an out-of-control forest fire, a breakup with your boyfriend, mass manipulation at the hands of a girl trying to steal said boyfriend, and teachers oversharing about trauma ‘round the campfire. 

Join us as we puzzle through this truly chaotic Super Edition. Either buckle in or skip–and we highly recommend you don’t skip–for “Sumptuous Spanish-Style Banquets in Santa Barbara” (Sweet Valley High Super Edition #1, Perfect Summer). 

This week, we continue to regress into angry teenagers as we follow Jessica’s COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE journey as she contemplates running away from home to escape her RUDE parents.

Join us as we explore the many complex paradoxes of this text, including: running away to connect, bonding over being ‘nobodies,’ and, perhaps most disturbingly, being “in a hurry to jog.” 

This week’s episode, “I’m a Sister First and a Shitty Reporter Second” (Sweet Valley High #21, Runaway), really allows us to channel our 16-year-old selves and say, “actually, he’s hot…and that means something to me.” 

A plane crash, hysterical paralysis, and food poisoning–this book has it all! 

Jessica takes a cooking class and falls in love with the art of French pastry (and a tasty dish named Jean-Pierre), and her parents take no classes at all and fall in love with being TOTALLY RUDE AND UNFAIR!

Join us as we dive deep into the complex psychology of conversion disorder, define (despite Robert’s protestations) the word ‘irony,’ and regress into frustrated teeneagers in this week’s episode, “La Belle Indifference” (Sweet Valley High #20, Crash Landing) 

Is there a number that holds the key to the secrets of the universe?

This week, we have something a little different to tide you over for the holidays: a deep dive into the number 137, Jessica Wakefield's favorite hyperbole.

Join us as we explore an age-old mystery that has fascinated, puzzled, and perplexed scholars from the Biblical to the scientific.

This minisode poses more questions than it answers and will leave you seeing the number 137...everywhere.

It’s a showdown this week, with Lila and Jess both interested in the same guy. Jack is gorgeous, charming, and cultured… but there’s something mysterious about him we just can’t put our finger on. 

Join us for a discussion of the lost art of seduction vis a vis phone number shenanigans, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and, despite Robert’s valiant efforts to avoid it, Strindberg’s Miss Julie.

Is it fiction or a natural fact?

This week we ask: do opposites attract?

Regina (and Robert) are head over heels for Bruce,

But is it really true love, or just a convenient excuse?

Is he trying to garner votes for a major role

Thats a huge deal in this city:

PRESIDENT of the Sweet Valley Centennial Student Committee.

This week, we ponder one of life’s greatest questions: what is love (baby, don’t hurt me)? Does it take two to tango, or can Caroline Pearce dance a pas-de-deux on her own? Caroline has created a dream boy, but Jess and Lila are pulling out all the stops (and checking train schedules) to ensure that he must show up in reality. Meanwhile, Caroline unearths a dramatic secret that threatens to tear the Wakefields apart.