Swell Recovery

Here's something I don't share often: even years into my own recovery and after helping hundreds of clients heal, I still grapple with decisions and experiences that are central to my recovery. Right now it’s whether or not to have kids. At other times it was feeling terrified of intimacy, jealousy about people reaching milestones I wasn’t ready for, or loneliness over friendships I had to lose to pursue healthy relationships and recovery. 

This is what we call ambiguous loss—the grief that comes without clear closure, the mourning of things that aren't traditionally recognized as losses. And if you're in eating disorder or trauma recovery, chances are you're experiencing this too, even if you don't have words for it yet.

In today's episode, I'm opening up about the hidden grief that lives alongside recovery that we need to talk about in order to heal. I'll name the thoughts, feelings and reactions that come up and how to deal with them. Content note: This episode discusses eating disorders, trauma, and grief. Please listen with care and reach out for support if you need it.

Key Points

• [00:03:07] Setting the stage - the ambiguous loss I’m experiencing
• [00:07:40] What is ambiguous loss? 
• [00:12:30] Emotions, thoughts, or behaviors that come up with ambiguous loss and how this connects to complex trauma and eating disorders
• [00:017:15] [00:24:55] Types of losses you might experience and their impacts on identity, relationships, and recovery
• [00:22:02] Complex trauma reactions that arise from ambiguous losses 
• [00:23:21] [00:27:02] Relationship losses that come up in recovery
• [00:29:26] Strategies for dealing with loss

Resources Mentioned:

Psychology Today

Therapy Den

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]

Ever catch yourself thinking "I shouldn't need meds if I'm really recovered"? Or worried medication will numb you when you've fought so hard to feel your feelings? In this episode, I’m sharing some of my own experience with medication support and some thoughts that come up about it even if you’re doing "all the right things" in your eating disorder recovery. Learn why your brain's actual structure might be changing when anxiety and depression go untreated, and why accepting medication doesn't mean your recovery isn't "good enough"—it might actually be protecting your brain from long-term damage. We'll explore why perfectionism makes accepting medication so difficult, share insights about how symptoms can eclipse your true personality, and reveal why accepting medication support can have deeper meaning in your recovery process. Whether you're on medication, considering it, or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on a loaded topic in the world of recovery and American culture at large.

Key Points

• [00:04:25] My experience with medication in recovery
• [00:11:44] Biological factors that influence eating disorders, mood disorders, substance use and PTSD
• [00:17:01] “Good enoughness” in recovery and how medication resistance can be a symptom of perfectionism in recovery and internalized ableism
• [00:21:00] Ableism and competition via medication resistance is a transfer of the eating disorder mindset - additional support via med management can be a radical act of recovery
• [00:24:15] Fears of becoming numb or medication changing your brain 
• [00:27:01] How medication plus therapy can protect, prevent, or reverse brain changes from mood disorders and trauma
• [00:30:05] Fears of side effects and navigating fat phobia in medication management
• [00:32:34] Finding the right medication for your brain chemistry
• [00:34:00] The myth of doing it on your own without meds as the only valid way to recover
• [00:37:38] Medication can enhance other recovery tools you’re already using
• [00:39:00] My story regarding fears of medication taking away aspects of self and control
• [00:41:31] “Psychological bandwidth” - untreated symptoms consume mental resources needed for recovery work
• [00:44:20] Practical things to think about prior to starting medication and how to find a medication provider

Resources Mentioned

Recovery Deep Dish Episode 5 - The nervous system in recovery

Psychology Today

Therapy Den

Episode Links

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]

In this episode, we explore the often blurry line between eating disorders and disordered eating and the nuance between having a clinical diagnosis or not. I’ll share about how many so-called "healthy habits" are normalized eating disorder behaviors. Finally, I’ll share insight about how ambivalence in recovery connects to deeper psychological issues underlying eating disorders. Whether you're early in recovery ready to learn some basics or struggling to identify the deeper issues keeping you stuck, this episode offers clarity on how to recognize when wellness behaviors cross into disordered territory and what’s really driving them in the first place. 

Key Points

• [00:05:00] The difference between eating disorders and disordered eating
• [00:07:44] Questionnaire to determine if you or someone you love has disordered eating
• [00:9:43] Eating disorders can happen at any weight, body size, or shape
• [00:10:53] Examples of normalized disordered eating 
• [00:13:05] Factors and rates of disordered eating turning into a full blown eating disorder
• [00:17:16] The deep dish - what comes up from taking responsibility for your recovery
• [00:25:43] Recommendations for looking for support 

Resources Mentioned

• Recovery Deep Dish Episode 5 - The nervous system in recovery
• Psychology Today
• Therapy Den
• Look for somatic experiencing therapists at Somatic Experiencing International Directory
• Attachment therapists - AEDP Directory

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]

In this episode, we explore how the current political and social climate can impact eating disorder recovery by triggering nervous system dysregulation. Learn why stress can make us vulnerable to old patterns and discover practical tools for staying embodied during turbulent times. We discuss attachment healing as political resistance, how to recognize nervous system states, and ways to create safety in your body when the world feels overwhelming. This episode offers 11 strategies for maintaining recovery while navigating collective stress, honoring grief and anger as necessary emotions, and finding strength through embodied awareness. Perfect for anyone feeling the impact of current events on their relationship with food and body.

Key Points

• [00:04:10] A review of how the nervous system works - go check out Episode 5, Parts 1 and 2 for a deeper dive 
• [00:08:36] How stress impacts executive functioning, eating disorder and trauma history,  and how systems of oppression benefit
• [00:15:00] Diet culture is a vehicle for misogyny and keeps us preoccupied from pursuing power, pleasure and autonomy and connection with the Self
• [00:20:30] Ask yourself these deeper questions if you’re doubting your recovery 
• [00:23:30] Embodied resistance and attachment work in recovery 
• [00:32:48] 11 Things you can do to find safety in the nervous system
• [00:34:40] How to get back to movement safely - Episode 4 of RDD
• [00:39:30] Calming Songs for Anxiety on Spotify
• [00:40:50] Reminders of ways to stay connected to yourself

Resources Mentioned:

• Books:
  • “The Beauty Myth” by Naomi Wolf
  • “Fearing The Black Body” by Sabrina Strings 
  • “My Grandmother’s Hands” by Resmaa Menakem
  • “Decolonizing The Body” by Kelsey Blackwell
  • “The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color” by Natalie Gutierrez
• People to learn from:
  • Rachel Cargle
  • Sonya Renee Taylor
  • Saba Choudry
  • Alok Vaid-Menon

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]
• Get in touch and work with me!: swellmentalhealth.com/contact

In this episode, we’re continuing our chat from Episode 5, Part 1. I’m sharing specific strategies to map and understand your autonomic nervous system using Deb Dana's polyvagal ladder as our scientific framework. I’m giving actionable strategies to recognize neural dysregulation when it comes to food and triggering situations. You’ll leave this episode with tactics to rewire old patterns and find a greater sense of safety in your body. This stuff can translate beyond the dinner table and help you manage interactions with friends, colleagues, and partners. Perfect for curious minds who want to understand the science behind why recovery is way more than just "mind over matter" and how you can support yourself or share this info with someone you care about.

Key Points

• [00:01:30] Review of the ANS and Deb Dana’s polyvagal ladder 
• [00:04:01] Mapping and tracking your nervous system symptoms so you can see where you are your ANS ladder
• [00:08:40] Practices for noticing sympathetic activation or dorsal collapse before it escalates 
• [00:11:59] Specific coping tools and things you can do to cope with states of dysregulation

Resources Mentioned

• Deb Dana’s work on polyvagal theory

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]
• Get in touch and work with me!: swellmentalhealth.com/contact

In this episode, we’re exploring the fascinating connection between your nervous system and your relationship with food. During Part 1 of this podcast, we unpack how the autonomic nervous system (ANS) influences eating patterns and recovery, using Deb Dana's polyvagal theory as our guide. Discover how trauma, stress, and past experiences create neural pathways that affect your position on the polyvagal ladder during meals. 

In Part 2, I share practical tools to find regulation, connection, and peace with food. This show honors all bodies while offering evidence-based approaches to regulating your nervous system so you can have a more peaceful relationship with food and greater sense of safety in your body. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this information will transform how you understand your nervous system and the keys to regulation in long term eating disorder recovery.

Key Points

• [00:06:20] The ANS and Deb Dana’s polyvagal ladder 
• [00:14:50] Neural pathways and eating disorder symptoms
• [00:19:30] “Small T” trauma and how it impacts the nervous system 
• [00:25:42] Specific nervous system patterns of anorexia, binge eating, and binge-purge or compensatory behaviors**Doesn’t talk about specific behaviors but does discuss symptoms, so please skip to Part 2 if this is triggering for you.

Resources Mentioned

• Deb Dana’s work on polyvagal theory
• Stephen Porges' research on polyvagal theory

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]
• Get in touch and work with me!: swellmentalhealth.com/contact

If you're wondering how to start exercising safely again in recovery this is the episode for you! You'll learn to distinguish between mindful movement and compulsive exercise using my top strategy to keep from overdoing it. I also give tips for creating supportive environments and managing triggers. Whether you're wondering about that yoga class or trying to quiet the eating disorder voice during a walk, this episode offers a framework for reclaiming movement as a celebration of what your body can do—not a punishment for what you ate. The road back to joyful movement isn't linear, but with the right tools and awareness, it's absolutely possible.

Key Points

• [00:05:20] The ways exercise/wellness culture gets twisted with eating disorders
• [00:14:57] The double edged sword of exercise 
• [00:17:40] Assess your readiness for movement
• [00:20:54] What is mindful movement versus compulsive exercise?
• [00:27:25] A deeper look at compulsive exercise - what’s really coming up?
• [00:31:58] My top strategy for engaging in mindful movement
• [00:36:54] Body neutral tactics to try as you reintegrate a movement practice

Resources Mentioned

• FREE resources on my website for recovery and self-awareness - swellmentalhealth.com/resources

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]
• Get in touch and work with me!: swellmentalhealth.com/contact

Discover what happens when you peel back the layers of your eating disorder identity and reconnect with your authentic self. In this episode, I share a personal story about rediscovering childhood memories that revealed aspects of myself beyond the eating disorder. Learn why eating disorders become so entangled with your identity and why simply labeling yourself by your diagnosis keeps you stuck. I'll walk you through 3 practical experiments to help you connect with your true self, recognize your body's signals, and collect real data about what brings you joy – no food rules or body battles required. Perfect for anyone wanting to reconnect with their deeper self or wondering "who am I without my eating disorder?" 

Key Points

• [00:05:40] The reasons why eating disorders impact identity and values
• [00:11:32] The harms of over-identifying with ones' diagnosis 
• [00:14:48] 3 strategies for uncovering your true Self 
• [00:24:30] Dating yourself and reconnecting with your intuition

Resources Mentioned

• Martha Beck's book The Way of Integrity

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]
• Get in touch and work with me!: swellmentalhealth.com/contact

Join me as I unpack what recovery really looks like. I'll share three practical definitions of recovery (including my own personal take), explore the freedom that comes with identifying as "recovered" versus "in recovery," and reveal a treasure trove of real-life recovery wins you can actually spot in your everyday life. By the end, you'll walk away with simple action steps to identify where you are in your journey and celebrate the progress you've already made. No complicated theories—just straightforward guidance to help you recognize and embrace your unique path to freedom from food rules and body battles!

Key Points

• [00:03:38] 3 definitions of recovery 
• [00:11:55] The difference of "in recovery" versus "recovered" and my take
• [00:20:13] Specific examples of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that indicate real recovery
• [00:25:26-29:00 ] Optional homework

Resources Mentioned

• Carolyn Costin's book 8 Keys To Recovery From An Eating Disorder

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]
• Get in touch and work with me!: swellmentalhealth.com/contact

Join therapist Kate Sutton as she introduces "Recovery Deep Dish," a podcast that combines professional expertise with personal experience to guide you through eating disorder recovery. In this first episode, Kate shares her own 15-year journey with disordered eating, explains what to expect from the podcast, and addresses the common fears and questions that arise during the recovery process. Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or have been in recovery for years, this episode offers validation, hope, and practical insights for navigating the complex path toward food freedom and body acceptance.

Episode Links:

• Website: swellmentalhealth.com
• Instagram: @counselorkate and @swellmentalhealth
• Email: [email protected]
• Get in touch and work with me!: swellmentalhealth.com/contact